To be sat on the sofa crying again because MIL is a cunt and DH is a spineless little mummy's boy.

[BramwellBrown]

Sorry long but it doesn't make sense otherwise and I don't want to drip feed.

MIL has spent the last 7 years bullying and belittling me at every opportunity and can be really spiteful.

MIL decided she would take DD to visit a different Father Christmas this year, one of the expensive ones that has a petting farm with reindeer, DD loved the reindeer and said he wasn't a bad Father Christmas as it goes but his grotto wasn't as good as the 'real one' I usually take DD to at the church fair, where FC knows DD's name and asks how her dog is etc (and is my Dad). MIL 'oh for goodness sake you're 6 any normal child your age knows the truth by now, that grubby church hall your mum takes you to isn't real either, there's no such thing as Father Christmas and Christmas is just a made up load of commercial rubbish celebrating the birth of an imaginary baby.' DD is really upset and doesn't even want her advent calendar because she says there's nothing to look forward to now, I know DD was likely to find out the truth about Father Christmas soon and fully expected this to be the last year she really believed in him but I'm furious that MIL would be so spiteful as to tell her like that or imply there was something wrong with her for not knowing and can't even describe how angry I am about the rest of it, I'm Catholic.

MIL then came round yesterday with a huge shopping bag of sweets for DD and none for DS as hes not DH's biological son I told DD to pick 1 for her and 1 for DS and I'd put the rest away for later, MIL starts on about me being mean and ridiculous, part of childhood is eating sweets til you feel sick I mentioned to MIL how upset DD is and MIL started screaming in my face and calling me stupid, DS tried to stick up for me but DH didn't say a word, then this morning MILs just text saying shes picking DD up from school at 3.15, I've said not today, she sent back 'it wasn't a question'. as it happens DD has a school play this afternoon so I will already be at the school (MIL was invited before the argument but school plays are boring) So DH and I have started the day on an argument because I asked him to have a word with his mum and he told me to stop winding her up.

AIBU to think its not I'm winding her up, she's just a cunt and that if DH loved me or had any respect for me he'd step in occasionally, I don't want him to go NC or anything but the odd 'Mum, that's enough' would be nice, I wouldn't let my parents treat him like this and its making me question if i want to be with him anymore.

meerka stop bickering and taking over her thread

I'm not bickering or taking over her thread, merely responding to the posters directing comments/questions to me. There is a difference!

Then take it to PMs. Your posts disagreeing with others are really bulking out this thread and when it comes to disagreeing with other posters, it's not focussing on what the OP needs to discuss.

no meerka. you don't tell me what to do

You are over reacting and you are also wrong for accusing me of 'bulking out a thread' just because i choose to respond to the comments aimed at me. don't want a response? don't talk to me - it's that simple.

Another lurker fed up with Twizzle and agreeing with Meerka. What's your aim here Twizzle, debate? Point out discrepancy when a stranger on the Internet politely answers your intrusive personal questions with a HA! It's a bit sick how you feel to make this about you being right.

I have just caught up on the thread.Last I read you were off to your DD play.

Can I just say DD teacher sounds lovely.Do let teacher know next week so they can give DD extra support if she needs it.

You are a very strong woman and a wonderful mum ..This is painful but a new start, the interview . You are going to be in shock for all that has happened in the last couple of days. I hope you are managing to get some sleep

I have no words for Daddy's boy or Mil.

the point, umi, is that i will respond to comments aimed at me - that is what happens on mn. if you don't want me to respond then why do you keep aiming comments at me? i think both you and meerka are just being goady.

oh VERY mature of you alt

carry on being goady and making your personal attacks

Hope you and your family are ok Bram. Cliched but true; it's hard now but will get easier.

Be kind to yourself.

Hi folks. This thread seems to be getting a little derailed. Could we all return to discussing Bram's original post, now? We don't want this to turn into a bunfight and have to delete it when an OP so clearly is in search of advice and support. Thanks!

the op had no issue with me asking her a question nor answering it (like HOW many pages ago???) but some of you can't accept that.

THIS is not even about that. THIS is about responding to the posters who engage me in dialogue and then you all get angry because i dared to respond back to them...seriously - why bother talking to someone then?

All you can do is take every day as it comes. If all you can do is the bare bones of getting up and dressed and fed fair play to you.

Nice to see you MincePiona! Well said. (And well said Altinkum, too.)

Bramwell, you are an astonishing and strong woman. It is easy to see that MIL sees you as a tremendous threat, and that will be part of why she has treated you so badly and rudely over the years. I am so glad you're no longer taking it lying down. Please don't back down!

I think that you would benefit enormously from having some time apart from h, anyway, so his decision to separate (no matter whether he meant it or not) is probably a good thing at the moment. I believe that you need a few months to regroup, as it were, spend some time with your children and your family (and FIL if he's supportive to you) while you re-cement all those relationships without the malign presence shoving her oar in when she has need of a bit of "I'm more important than you" bolstering.

I too think that the Freedom Programme will be of great help to you. If there's one local to you, see if you can getto the first 3 or so sessions before you make a final decision about h (can you tell that I think he will regret his decision and try to back pedal on it?).

I hope you get a long sleep and decent rest tonight. Never underestimate yourself - you are extraordinary, and your children are lucky in their mother, don't doubt that!

Ahem

Hope you manage to get some sleep Bram x

Well said Jux. A break would be a good idea. If he goes back to his mother he can deal with her all the time and who will they have to be nasty to then? It's sad people don't put their partners and children first as they end up lonely. Op has lost nothing.

Op maybe consider posting a new thread for ongoing support ....without having to wade through all this repetitive crap.

Really hope you manage to get some well earned rest.

Cant we take a democratic vote on whether Twizzle has continued to behave disgracefully - and if he/she should stop posting on this thread.

Yes or No?

Good call -- I requested that some time ago