To be sat on the sofa crying again because MIL is a cunt and DH is a spineless little mummy's boy.

[BramwellBrown]

Sorry long but it doesn't make sense otherwise and I don't want to drip feed.

MIL has spent the last 7 years bullying and belittling me at every opportunity and can be really spiteful.

MIL decided she would take DD to visit a different Father Christmas this year, one of the expensive ones that has a petting farm with reindeer, DD loved the reindeer and said he wasn't a bad Father Christmas as it goes but his grotto wasn't as good as the 'real one' I usually take DD to at the church fair, where FC knows DD's name and asks how her dog is etc (and is my Dad). MIL 'oh for goodness sake you're 6 any normal child your age knows the truth by now, that grubby church hall your mum takes you to isn't real either, there's no such thing as Father Christmas and Christmas is just a made up load of commercial rubbish celebrating the birth of an imaginary baby.' DD is really upset and doesn't even want her advent calendar because she says there's nothing to look forward to now, I know DD was likely to find out the truth about Father Christmas soon and fully expected this to be the last year she really believed in him but I'm furious that MIL would be so spiteful as to tell her like that or imply there was something wrong with her for not knowing and can't even describe how angry I am about the rest of it, I'm Catholic.

MIL then came round yesterday with a huge shopping bag of sweets for DD and none for DS as hes not DH's biological son I told DD to pick 1 for her and 1 for DS and I'd put the rest away for later, MIL starts on about me being mean and ridiculous, part of childhood is eating sweets til you feel sick I mentioned to MIL how upset DD is and MIL started screaming in my face and calling me stupid, DS tried to stick up for me but DH didn't say a word, then this morning MILs just text saying shes picking DD up from school at 3.15, I've said not today, she sent back 'it wasn't a question'. as it happens DD has a school play this afternoon so I will already be at the school (MIL was invited before the argument but school plays are boring) So DH and I have started the day on an argument because I asked him to have a word with his mum and he told me to stop winding her up.

AIBU to think its not I'm winding her up, she's just a cunt and that if DH loved me or had any respect for me he'd step in occasionally, I don't want him to go NC or anything but the odd 'Mum, that's enough' would be nice, I wouldn't let my parents treat him like this and its making me question if i want to be with him anymore.

Man, just want to hand hold Bramwell. X

She is a monster OP.

I'd be rethinking my relationship as well, you're not alone there.

MIL can fuck off, I don't want anything to do with her and have told her to stay the fuck away from me and the DC (I also told her that i refuse to be pushed around by some snobby bitch who thinks shes all that when really shes just needs a hobby or the latest boyfriend to give her a good fuck, not my proudest moment but it felt good.)

R.E.S.P.E.C.T!

Some things just need saying. Love it when the worm (no offence meant OP) finally turns.

I don't know where you are but it's really sunny here today so just put some sunglasses on.

Has he actually packed a bag and left yet? I am wondering if he will try and wriggle out of leaving. He might offer you "one last chance for the sake of DD" I hope you tell him to get fucked.

Do you need any practical advice? I don't want to be nosey but you haven't said much about your financial situation. i.e is house owned or rented, do you work, will he cough up maintenance without a struggle? I know it's early days but have a little think and we can try to help.

Cold tea spoons on the eyes will help with puffiness. Put a couple in the fridge or run under cold water.

Just wanting to give you huge hugs.

I think you've been amazing to cope with your MIL as well as you have for as long as you have bearing in mind you are still relatively young. I am not being patronising but IMHO most of us continue to learn and get better at dealing with nasty people and difficult situations like this over the years.

TBH without your dh backing it was never going to end well, he is still firmly attached to his "mother's" apron strings.

Keep in touch with your FIL as well as relying on your family for support. Well done for protecting your DD from the witch.

It's not an end op it's the beginning of a better chapter.

Good luck and keep posting for support.

twizzle, if you had a grasp of basic arithmetic you wouldn't have needed to ask.

OP's DS is 10 and her DD is 6, so there is four years' difference between them (and add on pregnancy with DS, there's nearly five years between conceiving DS and DD being born).

OP said that she and her husband got together when she was 16 and she had DD at 19, so three years' gap between getting together and having DD.

So the only way her DS could have been conceived while she was in a relationship with her now-husband would be something complicated involving time-space distortions and wormholes.

Oh Op, I posted before I RTFT

Your family sound lovely. I LOVE that your Dad is FC in disguise the year round. It sounds like you come from a great family unit and your kids, well, they speak for themselves. Your son is brave and kind even though he is going through his own battles.

You have so much to be proud of.

Sad to hear DP has not redeemed himself, although given the N/C between your MIL and DS... He should have intervened there years ago.
You all live under the same roof, you are a family, he should be treated as such by everyone regardless of blood.

Your outburst, made me cringe and laugh at the same time. It's entirely the kind of daft thing I'd have ended up doing and semi-regretting.
At least you managed to shock MIL out of her comfort zone. I wonder if you had been entirely reasonable if she would have taken you seriously?
Anyway, that's by the by, you're doing a great job. I hope DP realises that his own family isn't particularly functional... It's hard to reconcile in your head but an objective eye is definitely needed when it comes to being a parent/grandparent.

I have just got a letter that has cheered me up a lot... I've got a job interview next week, I've been studying since DS started school to try and get out of cleaning/shop/bar work and this is the first interview I've been offered for a job I actually want to do.

Ace That's amazing news. Onwards and upwards from here, hopefully

Yay you!!!!!

Bram that's brilliant. I managed to get my dream (ish) job this summer in the middle of utter chaos, heartbrake, losing my home and dealing with threats/harassment. I have no doubt you can do it too. There's nothing like getting rid of negatives in your life to make you get the positives.

Finances wise, we live in a council flat, I've got no debts at all and we should be ok, DH has just set up his own business so isn't actually contributing much financially at the moment anyway so without having to buy him food we'll probably be about the same position we are in now, possibly slightly better off.

Serendipity.

Tbh, I wasn't surprised to read that you hadn't had a massive career. Not that that's a bad thing but...

The more I read about your H the more I saw a pattern forming.

I can almost guarantee that you being successful in your dream job would have caused even more problems.

Sometimes people are victims of bullying parents but sometimes they are carbon copies of them.

Pages and pages ago you said he was lovely apart from your MIl. But he's not lovely, not just about this either. The time to stand up to his MIL was when he decided to get into a relationship with a very vulnerable young girl and a baby (DS was two yes?)

If he wasn't willing to treat your dc equally then he shouldn't have stayed with you.

He hasn't been lovely since the very first moment he stood by and allowed his mother to mistreat your ds. And even less so when he did it himself.

Bloody hell, what a horrendous woman and a pathetic son, too.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, OP.

Excellent news about the job interview!

Woah everything crossed for the job!
This might be a perfect new start for you and your family (and snake).

Yay! You have stabbed the Nazgul in the face, twatbollocks is going (Waltermitty has a very good point), possible new job, no money worries.

And your DS is an upright and brave young man. Buy him a snake by all means.

Just read your whole thread - so sorry that it's turned out this way but well done you for being so strong & good luck with the job interview.

Onwards & upwards!

Just read your whole thread, your Dh sounds like a right twat.

But congratulations on the job interview !! Well done !!

Try not to give your dh or his narcissistic mother any head space you are better than that.

And tea bags are very good for puffy eyes ;)

Well done you, onwards and upwards I say. As the house is not bought it should be easier.

Great news. Focus on interview skills. Post in employment for tips. You can do this