Being heard: Sure's journey (thread 3)

[surereadyforchange]

previous (2nd) thread

What to say? Abusive rapist ex reported, Police Statement given over a month ago and he is still blissfully unaware, still messaging, and nothing has happened.

Bloody form on the website isn't working.

Call them back and tell them that! They clearly need a good kick up the arse!

Agh!!! Honestly you are having more challenges than Hercules, on this journey, Sure!

You did the right thing reporting him - he raped you: we heard you and believe you. You are doing the right thing reporting the police too - they have not acted well in your support.

I just checked the Word version of the complaints form near the bottom of the IPCC homepage and it is working on my computer. Couldn't get into the Pdf though. Hope that helps.

Hoping that you feel much better soon. Onwards and upwards Sure!

I was prescribed Naramig as I couldn't take more paracetomol than I already was, but you would have to see your gp for that. It was great. I am now on propranolol as a prophylactic.

Re the complaint form, send your full and frank complaint in an email, and include that their complaint form is not working. This is completely unacceptable in the 21st century.

Right, as per longtallsally's idea I downloaded the word form and filled it in and attached it to the email I sent to the complaints people. I could have sent it directly to the force which would have been quicker but I wanted to send it via them so there was more of a paper trail.
No doubt nothing will be done (going on whats happened so far) but at least I have tried.
2 months is not right at all.
:(

Sorry x post with Jux

Feel too ill to get DS from afterschool club.. tried to get out of bed but feel horrendous. Head throbbing eyes practically falling out being sick in my mouth. Times like this I feel the pressure and isolation

Oh nooo - how will you get him home?? Can you splash out on a taxi?

I too remember that awful feeling of isolation when they are small and you have no support. It does get better as they get more independent, and eventually build up a network of friends . . .

Thinking of you.

Thinking of you, sure. I hope the migraine has eased off.

We're in bed!
Didnt want to risk vomming in taxi so I took my car and balanced a bowl on my lap and went vv slowly!

Sure, you are so resourceful and full of initiative! Well done!

A migraine which lasts so long - and it's your first, isn't it? Well, I would go to the gp just to get it logged, duration and severity. Maybe not actually go, but have a phone appointment.

Hope it is waning now, and you will be more functional tomorrow, but if it's still bad, get yourself checked. It could be a result of the stress of the last two months, in which case you can add that to your complaint. Well done on getting it done, btw.

Feel better this morning but still got a headache, really bloodshot in the eye in front of where it hurts most. Going to uni with choc to make it up to my group (we have small groups of 9 for case studies etc).
Got an email from PO last night saying he'd asked the police where 'he' lives to arrest him. He had assured me that as he'd spoken to me about the case he would be the one arresting him. Guess not.
Anyway apparently they tried yesterday but he wasnt in. I know he was cause he messaged me saying ive had knocking on my door at 5.30 this morning do you know anything about it?
Stressed. Only thing keeping me going is that once they've arrested him I can let it go and move on.

Tell the PO just that, sure - that he was there and didn't answer. Maybe they'll change tactics in that case. Does he work? Maybe they could get him en route.

As an aside, why on earth was he asking you if you knew anything about the knocking? That indicates a guilty conscience to me - I'd never put 2 and 2 together like that.

Hug Sure - hope you feel [at least physically] better today.

I have semi-regular migraines myself and they are horrid.... with the right drugs i can sometimes muddle through but often have to take to a dark, quiet room until the worst passes. EVery now and then i get one like you described - but thankfully not often.

As others have said, tell PO that 'he' has been in touch, questioning the knocking and has used it as a reason to contact you / seems to have connected it to you. Best that the PO has all the information.

Wishing you a good day today. Read a thing on Pinterest yesterday and thought of you:

H.O.P.E. = Hold On, Pain Ends

Sure - did they turn up in uniform at 'his'? I reckon as partrtidge says, he's put 2 and 2 together. Get ready for major minimising, victim-blaming, evasion and anger. Tell the PO that he was def in when they called/.

H.O.P.E. - badgers, love that!

Glas you are feeling better.

Hi ptumbi - i thought it was good when i saw it and hope that others, including Sure can take some small comfort from H.O.P.E.

Love it Badgers

Well, some progress! And ditto all the wise women saying you HAVE to feed thus back to the PO.

Is anyone there?

I'm here, sure.

How are you doing?

Not good.
I've finally got the email I've been waiting for (despite trying to get away from it all)
He was arrested this morning. He's been questioned for two hours, hes been in the police station all day.
He's been bailed and ordered not to contact me.

And now the fucking PPO is all like "oh yeah i'm off til Friday i'll discuss it with you then"!

I fucking said I'm not coping with it, I told him that I cant deal with continuing with all this, now I've got the rest of the week my last week at uni with all my presentations and placement visits and trying to run a fucking stall at the school fair and leaves it til Friday 6pm which is just when I am meant to be going out for the first night out in ages - one of those bands I booked....
He's not listening

I don't wanna do this any more and i'm not being allowed to leave it. I know he has to be arrested, I think its the right thing to happen, but I thought that would be the moment i'd get control back.
Theres no way I'll sleep tonight. No way. I've got to go on a placement visit tomorrow and be really professional and keen.

To make it worse me and DS were decorating the tree earlier and he talked about 'him' and I sort of said hmmm, he said he missed him, I said i'm sure he thinks about you. DS said "I'm glad you said that because I thought he didn't love me". I said if course he does, he thinks you're wonderful, he said "Thank you for telling me that, you've made me really happy" and had a little happy cry.

Oh, sure. That is crappy timing.

Has he contacted you since being arrested?