Being heard: Sure's journey (thread 3)

[surereadyforchange]

previous (2nd) thread

What to say? Abusive rapist ex reported, Police Statement given over a month ago and he is still blissfully unaware, still messaging, and nothing has happened.

I believe you. I hear you. Hugs, a thousand times over. I do know how it feels to not have support from the outside, and that is one reason I come on Mumsnet....

I hear you. I believe you. And it is not right!!! "He" is despicable for what "he" has done to you.

That means more than any policeman in an office somewhere who hasnt the faintest what its like.
Sorry you don't have support either. Maybe we could start a little group!
Sharing, being heard is so, so important.

I feel stronger today for what I have received here from my 'strangers on the internet'. Xx

Saw this the other day and made me think of this thread.

I have support now; I've made a nice group of women friends I can talk to and go out with, etc. But when I was married, there was nothing. I tried to report things, and no one would listen; that was then. This is now.

I don't consider myself a stranger; I've been following you all along, posting when I see I might be helpful, and other times just reading and reassuring myself you're ok. You are stronger than you realize. And I love it that you were able to go back to the counselor who really "gets" you!! That is priceless; and it proves it's not just strangers on the internet!

You KOKO, young lady!

Cross posted. I love that quotation/poem!! Thank you for that, so much!!!

Aw I'm so glad things are different for you now. You sound very strong yourself.
And thanks for the 'young lady' !

Hi Sure
Lots of peeps here are listening to you and are appalled at what you have had to deal with.
Don't know what to say about your latest updates. Sending you warm hugs and strength to KOKO. Hope you feel calmer for seeing counsellor and for sharing here. Be kind to yourself. Xx

sure, you sound so much stronger and determined than even a few days ago and I am so pleased to 'hear' that.

I think we all on this and the previous threads have heard you, loud and clear, and if that was of any help to you then I am delighted

You do what gives you a bit of control and initiative back - I think you have every right to complain about how your case has not been dealt with. Not necessarily that your PO did a bad job (I don't know), but the procedure just seems unnecessarily drawn out. And what about the repeated assurances something was going to happen 'this week', 'this weekend', 'next week' (so maybe it was your PO after all)?

So many people on MN make me realise how lucky I am and I am grateful for that

Thanks all.
Have emailed PO expressing myself clearly and articulately.
Feel like a weight has been lifted. I'm not carrying this any more.
On Monday I'm ringing the police complaints commission and then I'm walking away from it all.
Nothings being done and I need to get it go and get on with my life. I don't want to be on tenterhooks any more. I want to take the power back IYSWIM.

Gonna have a big glass of wine tonight once I'm home with my new electric blanket :-)

Chin-chin, sure

Well done!

Sure, I was so relieved to read your first post this morning. (I'd decided I'd give you till 9am and then, well, I'd no idea what but SOMETHING!)

I was so sorry to read what you wrote, but I still think it's a massive step forward that you're saying 'this has happened and it's not fair'. The old Sure just thought she wasn't entitled to better.
Your counsellor sounds great and it's fantastic that she's done you good.
It's also great that your DS will never feel that he's on his own. Because he's got you.

Enjoy your electric blanket. (I've just added the extra bit to the duvet and I'm looking forward to snuggling down tonight!)
Here's tae ye, was like ye, as my mother used to say. God knows why.

from us.

Hugs to DS, too.

Hey, lovely . Lots of us here for you; for you. And you deserve it and are worth it.

Sounds like you have taken some very positive steps, and that your counsellor has helped too. Good on you!

Hi sure, hope you have had a good day and that yesterday's positive mood has stuck with you

Heya,
Awful agonising headache came on last night, has got worse all day and I've been being sick, the pain in my head is very severe and is worse if i try to get up or change the level of my head. Tried to bend down for something for DS and nearly passed out from the pain.
Poor DS was in pjs all day. Managed to feed him thats about it! Spent a lot of the day horizontal trying not to vom, promised him we'd put up the tree but he was very good about it. Entertained himself with books/angry birds/dvds. He's such an angel. Ran him a bath to play in and managed to get him washed and into bed..hoping pain eases overnight.
Thanks for all yr lovely messages.
Still feel expressing myself and walking away was the right thing to do.
If I'm well enough I'll try the pcc tomorrow.

Are you taking regular painkillers? And if so have they helped? That sounds nasty, is it the sort of headache you normally get?
Hope you feel better after sleep. If still that bad tomorrow you should see a doc.

Sorry about your headache!! I bet your sweet DS tried to help you; I can just picture that, from what you've said about him before. Hope tomorrow is better.

And I love your plan to get to the pcc tomorrow, then drop it. There is a time to move on, for sure. (pun NOT intended) Please do take care of yourself first, so you can be good for DS.

Oh, sorry to hear you're poorly - yy to regular painkillers and fluids and rest. Do you think you've got a fever?
I hope you feel better in the morning.

Do what you feel able to tomorrow.
PCC sounds like a good idea - can you email your complaint so something is in writing?
No need to answer - I hope you get some restoritative sleep tonight.

Yes. No need to reply. Less screens is better for heads like that.
Night night.

That sounds very like a migraine to me sure. I'd go to Boots tomorrow first thing if I were you and ask for Imigran (it's a triptan and they work wonders for me). You'll have to fill out a form but you then keep a tab from the form and can get the meds again without faff another time. They don't recommend that you take them if you're on antidepressants but I just tend to stagger the time I take my ADs if I need a triptan - a 12 hour delay won't be too bad.

If you take triptans in the middle of an attack they are hard to keep down, but I find that if I take one with a bare minimum of water and keep walking around (often in circles 'cos houses are small!) for around 20 minutes then they will usually stay down. I tend to not have them with food at that point because it increases the chances of me throwing it all up again.

In the meantime, I recommend a hot water bottle pressed to your head (yes I know you're not meant to but the heat distracts me from the blinding pain). I usually go to sleep resting my head on it do mind that you're careful to not over-fill, do press all the steam out (or as much as you can) and do it up good and tight. Dim lights, no reading of screens (or minimise if you can). Have water handy.

Hope that you feel better ASAP

Another one here who finds triptans are great for migraine headaches!

Hello, Whatever it is seems to be clearing but I've still taken the day off uni and am in bed.
Partridge and educatingarti - I've been given Imigran before, and have used migraleve I think its called, I took an imigran yesterday when I woke up and it had no effect. Triptans don't seem to work for me :(
Going to ring complaints now.

They said to fill out a form on their website.
I mean, its not really gonna help me now, but if the police get spoken to about it maybe a woman in the future may not have to endure the upset of two months of nothing being done, making her feel like she doesn't matter.