Being heard: Sure's journey (thread 3)

[surereadyforchange]

previous (2nd) thread

What to say? Abusive rapist ex reported, Police Statement given over a month ago and he is still blissfully unaware, still messaging, and nothing has happened.

Reading back through the comments has been a real boost actually.
Obviously its 2.15 am and my mind is working overtime after i crashed out in bed at 8.30pm and woke up at midnight.
Its having someone to talk to about the little things in life that I miss. So I might try posting about them here if you dont mind as per previous suggestion in order to feel less alone and isolated. Nothing like your car breaking when you have a child to ferry around to rub in how you have no one!

Hi Sure! I do think of you, and check the thread, but tend to think no news is good news.

Your lovely son is right! You do save the day . None of us feel like how our kids see us, but it's their perception, and we just try to live up to it! Fake it 'til you make it, really. At some point they will work out how fallible we really are, so make the most of their innocent love and awe while you can, to try to deserve that love and awe and thus become a better person. That's what I try to do anyway (and dd being 15 now, is well aware of my weaknesses. She still loves me though ).

Do post on here. All those little things, good bad and ugly. Sometimes just writing things down clarifies them, or takes the sting away.

I wish i really was as he sees me.

Here's a not-so-radical thought Sure: maybe you are. You DEFINITELY are to him. And he is the only one who really matters right now. Not your mum, not your sister, not your sister's wee girl.... and certainly not the arsehole ex-boyfs....just your wee tribe of two....you and your DS.

Focus on that and dont get sucked in [or guilted in!] to their dramas.

[Of course you have your tribe of MNers, but we dont matter a peep really: we can listen, sympathise, encourage....but at the end of the end of the day, we aren't important. We just want the best for you and DS: even if we dont always all agree on what that is! lol]

That is shitty about the car, always the sodding way isnt it! You got it fixed though, which is great. As for the crappy period, being a woman really can be totally shitty sometimes....you have my sympathy. It is so hard to plough through that crappiness for work isnt it....when you ache and your energy has fallen through the floor and your brain is all foggy. Hope you feel better today.

Great that your DS is enjoying beavers....i think when being part of an organisation works for a child, it really works. They so enjoy the belonging [as you say] and achieving things that are "real" ie not screen-based. Organised activities didnt work for me as a child, but then i was an anti-social, introverted [and lazy] wee sod. But it sounds great for your DS.

Things here in the Badger household are so-so.....hubby recently found out he is losing his job which was a bit of a blow, but we have some cushioning so it isn't catastrophic. Not great, but not the end of the world. Hoping he finds something else reasonably soon though.

Hope you got some more sleep in the end, take it easy.

Morning Sure !
Thanks for the update about your DS and the beavers - what a lovely little man you're raising! I'm so pleased he got a place. Agree with Jux & Badgers - how are kids see us when they're small can be humbling and uplifting all at the same time.
Hope the period is settling done. How's the placement going ? Is it full time or do you get time'off' for course work? Sorry if you think I'm being nosey - just making conversation.

Also agree with others about using MN as a place to come and have a moan.

I've got a ton of paperwork to do and a Facebook page to set up (??!) today as well as my teaching sessions but I'll check back in when I can
Take care of yourself

I wish i really was as he sees me

Trust your DS's judgement - you are as he sees you.

Hi everyone.
I am actually at placement now. Its like a full time job really, but I find it harder as I get to manage my own hours as I am working on a project. I don't think i'm strict enough as I do decide to 'work from home' and get distracted and don't feel like i'm doing enough or proper work.
Period from hell finally gone. The car is working again.
Badgers - has your husband found anything promising in terms of a new job yet?
DPotter- how did the facebook page go? I am trying to put stuff online regarding the project but its not necessarily going that well....
Thanks everyone for your kind comments. I guess I am just going to have to fake it til I make it.
I have managed to put a story (someone else's) on line for the project, and in the interests of being authentic have just managed to write a (VERY shortened) version of my own events. I could probably write a book actually! But I tried to keep it relevant. I don't know if i'll put it online, at least not the unedited version.

I ended up talking about you all quite a lot, which was interesting. I suppose I just wanted to say thank you, having just finished it. The part you all played in holding my hand over Christmas was crucial, I don't know if I would be here if it weren't for you. And that isn't an exaggeration.
You are still holding my hand now and I just wanted to say although I haven't been posting as much, you are all amazing and I appreciate this thread and everyone whos posted on it more than you could ever know.

for my part, I'm happy you're busy, and that the car's working and that ds is lovely. I'm not worried that you don't post often - it's an indication of your increasing self-reliance and confidence, and fewer problems. That's all good!

Post as much or as little and you like, Sure. People will find you when you need them.

What Jux said - with bells on.

You are so v welcome to whatever positives you could take from what we all posted, but you do realise that it is your resilience that has seen you through, don't you?
Credit were it's due

I hope you find your placement really enjoyable even if it is challenging at times.
And yy to 'fake it til you make it' - you will get there.

Hey Sure

Great to hear from you, it sounds like things are going OK for you at the minute.....even if a bit challenging, at least it is a positive challenge, taking you in the right direction. For those of us who have been following since your first posts it is really lovely to see how far you have come, and how much you have grown in confidence. We know that there will still be ups and downs. Life is not a fairytale but believe me, no one expects that from you, and we are here to listen when you need us and are glad that we have been able to support you through some tough times.

As for life Chez Badger, hubby finishes the current job this friday and nothing new on the horizon jobwise yet. Hopefully something turns up sooner rather than later.... Last time he was out of work it took 9 months to get something :-( But it isn't a catastrophe and we are in a better position than many people.

Look after yourself.

Good to hear from you, Sure. You are coping, whatever you think. I think we just remind you that you do cope, in circumstances where many wouldn't.
I've been checking your thread every day, nodding as usual at your other regulars' posts. Sending you hugs and and and .
Believe your DS - you do save the day. He doesn't know how hard it is for you. He just knows you do it.

Glad things are starting to appear brighter to you. Quiet handholding and supportive in the background vibes wafting your way ...

You are so v welcome to whatever positives you could take from what we all posted, but you do realise that it is your resilience that has seen you through, don't you?
This ^ totally. Well put pacific . sure , resilient is the word I think most appropriate for you.
Warm thoughts from me too and good luck with that project. Do not worry about how 'successful' or otherwise it has been. At this level it is all about the learning process. Observing things that have not gone as you initially visualised, and thinking about why, is all part of that process.

Hi Sure
Look - you're studying with a little one its bound to be tough. I did a part time course with a full time job and it was heavy even without a little one so be kind to yourself. Remember write about what you know and if that's mn and us - well good for you.
By the way my attempts at FB have been a waste of time- was told my FB group wouldnt get to many people - 21 members. So set up FB page 18 likes! Hey ho. Think I'll give up on that idea.....move to plan B or is it C,D Or even M....

Hi Sure
This week has really flown by. Can't believe its nearly March ad I'm sounding more & more like my Mum ..........

from me too!

xxx

Hi Sure. You can see that people haven't forgotten you. That's because we kinda like you I pop by every day to check if things are quiet here, and I am clearly not the only one.

Hoping you're busy, and happier, and that lovely boy of yours is having fun xx

Another one who pops by as often as I can. Still thinking of you and hoping you're both ok.

Hope all is well Sure

I really need some love!
What a long path this is. X

Ps I will try and update, but i do have DS full time for 2 wks (he is refusing to see his dad but thats another story ) will try my best but theres probably quite a lot.

A long path indeed, but you have come so far: don't ever forget how much you have achieved since you first posted all those months ago. No need for you to update if it doesnt suit you; just wanted you to know you are still cared for and have friends here if you need us.

If you need us....I dont know if you have ever seen the film Labyrinth, but the end scene where all the charaacters join Sarah in her bedroom after she tells them in the mirror that she does need them: in my head I think the MNers are a bit like that diverse crazy bunch. if you havent seen the film, this paragraph will make absolutely no sense whatsoever!

Look after yourself, hopefully the Easter holidays wont be too crazy!

Hi Sure
don't worry about updating us - this thread is to support you.

Even when you're feeling on good form, the school holidays can seem like a mountain to climb. When DD was small I always tried to do one 'thing' each day out of the house - park, shopping trip to the supermarket. A friend used to take her DC on the bus to get sweets and back (we are very rural so this is a treat). I've got ideas if you would like them - don't want to patronise.

koko, sure