Being heard: Sure's journey (thread 3)

[surereadyforchange]

previous (2nd) thread

What to say? Abusive rapist ex reported, Police Statement given over a month ago and he is still blissfully unaware, still messaging, and nothing has happened.

Ok Dpotter. Washed and dressed it is.

Cross posted. Thats a beautiful view. :)

Ok - that's me washed and dressed.
The blue sky does help with these short days doesn't it ?
I've got to go out and be back before dark as no paths around here. But I'll be back soon.

Washed and dressed too! I have to go to my doctors appointment at 4. Going to try to walk there as i haven't been out in days.
Hope you enjoy your walk.

Hope the doctor's appointment was useful.

Someone up thread mentioned rape crisis centre counselling and I think that could be useful for you.

Enjoyed my walk - my ears are still cold. Did you manage to get some fresh air ? I know it's a cliche but exercise does help (and I'm the most un-exercise-y person around).

Have a little plan for this evening - what are you having for tea / dinner ? Anything trashy on the TV ? We're having lasanga.

She gave me sertraline despite me saying i dont want anymore drugs and tried to get me to get DS to play football so i can meet other parents.
DS is into geology, weather systems, volcanos, and trains/model railways. He's not big on football. Its just so desperate.
I'm so not hungry. I dont really watch tv (not connected)
Lasagna sounds nice. I might try and make a big one once DS gets home.

Sometimes, Sure, you just have to "put on the clothes", fake it, pretend. I'm not surprised you're exhausted though. It's been an absolutely exhausting time for you, and faking it, plastering that smile on, soldiering on just adds to it.

Rest while ds is away. But eat! Eat sensibly, and take a walk every day, just a short one but get out. Make yourself do the lasagna, eat some when it's fresh out of the oven. Watch the sky from the comfort of your bed if it feeds your soul, but get out once a day and make and eat proper food. That's enough for now.

Scouts might be a better organisation for a budding earth sciences boy ( or Cubs for now.....I forget their age brackets)
Glad you got out. And you too dpotter

We enquired at the scout hut Letsgoforawalk and DS is on the waiting list for cubs. Much more up his street, i agree. Thanks for chatting, makes me feel much more with-it. Jux i might try to get some ingredients for when DS gets back tomorrow. No idea what we're gonna do for new years yet.

Don't know what to say, so sending you hugs.

Sure, lots of things going through my mind but Jux, Letsgo and dpotter have said them so well.
I was thinking that your mind and body have just said 'that's enough I need rest' and because you're able to take some time out from mothering that's just what's happened. I'd be very worried except that your DS is coming back and you will have to fake it for him. So you won't spiral further downwards.

Exercise gently, just a walk I mean, and please eat. As Jux says, make the lasagne in portions - one for you now, two for you and DS tomorrow. Fool yourself ('I have to taste this to make sure he'll like it' etc.) Anything to get something inside you. Make your smoothie again and put some oats in.

I'm so glad you have accepted that you have to keep going for DS. Occasionally I have dreamed about not being here and maybe the notion that you do have a choice is enough to carry on. I don't know.

Please don't dismiss the setraline - you'd accept a pot and a crutch if you'd broken your leg. ADs are a temporary plaster, that's all.

teeny what is the best kind of pot for a broken leg?
I bet your boy will love cubs / scouts sure and a waiting list is good, it must be a good troop and in demand.
I love the window shots by the way. Those jet trails can be hypnotic, watching them drift away.
If you are not a telly person do you listen to the radio? I like to do that when tv feels too intrusive or when I'm cooking.

Letsgo, is that not what you call it?! As in 'he's got a pot on'? Have I caught another Yorkshire-ism? I'll never dare return home! Oh no.
And yy to cubs, or are there any model railway societies around? I expect they would love some young blood.
Agree about the radio - and with Iplayer on my phone I can pick and choose whatever I like. Talking books are good too for keeping your mind absorbed.

If I was any good at links I'd do a link but I'm not.

There is a fb page which is called "sunrise Scotland" it does what it says on the tin, there is a bloke who goes out every morning and takes a picture of the sunrise. The twist is .....there is no twist, it's that simple, no inspirational quotes, no political comment, just gorgeous pictures. He is a really good photographer and is my favourite thing on my fb feed. I might unlike everyone else and just keep him actually.

(That is a bit off topic I know but the looking out of the window thing made me think about it.)

X post teeny
Caught a Yorkshire ism. yes I think you might have! I've never heard of that (I hail from t'other side of t'pennines)

Sorry for digressing on your thread sure but I feel like you are here with us and will join in if and when you feel like it.

Teeny - I don't think pot is a yorkshire-ism I certainly use it and I come from deepest darkest Kent.

Have you made yourself something to eat Sure ? Try something even if only a little bit.

Think the Cubs would be brilliant - hope your DS gets a space soon.
This may sound completely crazy - how about a martial art ? a friend of mine used to take her son to Tae kwondo and in the end joined in as the hall was too far away for her to get home for a reasonable amount of time before going to fetch him home. She made a load of friends, her DS loved it and she got a black belt in Tae kwondo - seriously scary !!!

I challenged DD to come up with a meal for tomorrow evening - sticky chicken drumsticks - so the diet starts again on Thursday.

Sure, I've just goggled 'sunrise Scotland' as letsgo mentioned. The photos are lovely tho admittedly I'm biased as half my blood is Scottish. (Mixes well with the Scouse!)
Do Martial arts appeal, Sure? Or what's that thing where you do set moves but no fighting? The name of it has gone out of my head!
What sort of things do you like doing? I love swimming, aerobics and Pilates and anything that you do regularly gives you the chance to meet other people. There's no pressure to be friends, but it can happen very naturally. Maybe not now, but later when you are ready.

Tai chi?

Hi all, you have made me smile, thanks :)
Teeny I have heard of 'pot' too, and i'm from all over the place. Used to live in North Yorkshire (and miss it) so could be where I picked it up.
I am going to try the next few days without the sertraline, see how I go when DS gets back. He'll hopefully pick me up and if not that then at least i'll be busy with cooking cleaning, shopping, entertaining him, picking up after him ;) theres always an endless "Muuuuuummmm" and I think i'll have him in with me tomorrow night as a 'treat' - he loves snuggling in the big bed, so do I to be fair so it will be a treat for both of us, even though he's a wriggler and i'll be awake half the night getting farted on
Letsgo yes I love the vapour trails, there are also little birds that come and sit in the tree, I don't know why I love birds so much , I could sit and watch them for hours.
Plus my robin tattoo, over my scars, which I love. When I was in Cornwall with my lovely friend, we went to the Eden project - has anyone been?
It was so beautiful, I love nature, so it was just such a lovely day, despite mild panic attack in one of the hot tropical domes which I breathed through and friend held onto me for dear life. There were birds singing in the trees and lots of Robins, they were trilling and almost seemed to be following us, I had a little tear as it reminded me of my dear Nanna, for whom I got the tattoo.
I might put the radio on in the morning, good idea letsgo, I used to listen to radio 4 a lot, so I might pop it on for distraction when I get up.
I've just looked at the Sunrise Scotland page on FB, right up my street, what beautiful pictures.
Dpotter , a martial art is not such a crazy idea. His dad used to do Wing Chun years ago and has been teaching DS the 'form' so yeah that's a really good idea. DS is quite good at it. I could probably do with something like it too tbh.
Ah the diet can start in 2015. ;) Enjoy the drumsticks. xx

I'm so pleased we've raised a smile
I love Tai chi - definitely recommend it. Legend has it Wing chun was devised by a woman to defend her honour.

Eaten far too much lasange - DD & DP have commandeered the TV.
I'd love to go to the Eden project - it's a beautiful part of the world. I didn't realise there were birds inside the domes - how wonderful!

I'm a Radio 4 addict - it would be my luxury on Desert Island discs if it was allowed.

Hope you have better luck with the sertraline suiting you. Do you have another appointment with the GP to see how it's going ?

Perhaps you could think of your Desert Island Discs, Sure? That and making lasagne would keep you occupied for a bit while you look into Tai Chi. I think you should also learn one of the fighting sorts, might come in handy in case of any further 'car park incidents'.

I enjoyed visiting Eden too - tho I have to confess that my favourite bit was the ice rink. Such joy in skating, not to mention a fair sprinkling of terror!

Do you have a bird table? Not always possible depending on neighbours' cats, but fascinating and rewarding.

Teeny I had a bird bath and feeders in my lovely garden that I had for 5 yrs before I left for uni. DS dad seems to have my beautiful stone bird bath in his garden now though. I stored some stuff at his in between moving to where I am now for uni. Hes obviously decided its going in his garden. I really need to get it back.
We loved the ice rink too, DS did really well, from scrabbling about like Bambi to going quite fast holding mine and friend's hand at the end of the session. Love him.
Dpotter yes I wondered how the birds got in but my friend says there are little vents they can go through.
Teeny I am smiling at the 'car park incident' reference..hehe!
I've had one cider (gone to my head, can you tell) but at least it'll help me sleep, hopefully.
You have no idea how much I appreciate you talking with me. .

Another here glad to hear you feeling more positive. I've not been to Eden project (so many gorgeous places in this country, I was watching Neil whatsisname earlier in 'sacred history', he was up in Orkney where the standing stones are. I would LOVE to go up there and see that stuff!)
I know you aren't into tv but there is some good stuff on iplayer at the mo. I'm currently watching 'Snow wolf family and me' with the lovely wildlife photographer Gordon Buchanan. It's really good and the wolf pups are So Cute.

I would also back the martial art / tai chi suggestion. I sometimes do an exercise class "body balance" which has tai chi, yoga and Pilates moves in it and ends with a ten minute guided relaxation (the best bit) I always feel energised and relaxed after it.
By all means leave the uni work for a while, your health is your current priority, but get a record of your GP visits so that you can provide evidence to support an extension, or mitigating circumstances should you need It. Maybe next week you can cobble together a few abstracts on the relevant subject from a brief library search and at least you will have shown that you have made a start.
Priority is you though, and your wellness.
I'm off to watch the last few mins of the cute puppies now and then it's bedtime. Hope tomorrow is a good day

I'm going to treat myself to a sip (or 2) of cherry vodka - a Christmas pressie. It's lovely and warming.

Hope you have a good sleep tonight. Good night Sure

Sure, I hope you get your bird bath back - you can't watch a little bird bathing without smiling. It's impossible!

The snow wolves are well worth watching, and Gordon Buchanan is such a nice man.

My favourite film ever was on over Christmas - 101 Dalmations. (Suspend your PC and feminist leanings for a while.) Also Toy Story. I leave all the tough films to my kids (19 year old twins) and only watch things which have happy endings now. What do you and DS like watching? Your Bambi reference sparked that train of thought. Well done to your DS. There's lots of physical stuff for kids that isn't football.

Letsgo makes such a good point about your uni work. I don't want to pressure you but your degree is your passport to a better financial future. Just make sure you do get some evidence to support a possible extension application. Perhaps you could say to yourself that you will spend 1 hour, or 30 minutes, or 10, whatever your brain can accept, starting the literature review. Letsgo is right - some evidence of a start will go a long way. I know you don't want to think about it, and I so don't want to pressure you, but if anyone deserves some extra consideration, it's you.

What time does DS get back?