Being heard: Sure's journey (thread 3)

[surereadyforchange]

previous (2nd) thread

What to say? Abusive rapist ex reported, Police Statement given over a month ago and he is still blissfully unaware, still messaging, and nothing has happened.

Well I've taken tablet number 2 a bit later so it'll kick in at bedtime. Going to attempt supermarket on way back from getting DS as we're out of everything and i might see something I feel like eating.
Drainwoman has popped back up unfortunately.

..and YY to ice cream!!!

Ignore the silly bint, you don't need the hassle.

As i said this morning, try to be extra gentle with yourself over the next couple of weeks: lots of duvet days mixed in with a bit of fresh air and gentle walks with DS {weather permitting}.

Tell Drainwoman you've got D&V.

It's going around and might put her off visiting you!!

You poor thing

Hi Sure, have been reading since the first thread.

You are doing so well and have come so far. I know to you it may all seem like crap. But we see a very strong, able, capable, intelligent woman raising a much loved little man. Your nanna would, I imagine, be very proud of how you are holding up and how strong you have been throughout.

The first thing I thought when drainwoman reappeared was he has put her on to you. And the second is tell her plain and simply that you do not have space in your life for her. She will do nothing but drag you down. You need to look after yourself and DS now and not have to give a thought to or deal with negative people.

Keep going one day at a time. Reading about your love for your Uni course and subject and the good impressions you are making make me think that you will go on to great things on your chosen path. 2015 is around the corner and I'm hoping it will be a wonderful new chapter for you.

Please tell drainwoman to eff off in no uncertain terms. You wont miss her when she's gone.

Tell Drainwoman you have Winter Vomiting Virus - very, very contagious.

Seriously, don't engage.

I hope you are ok

I actually had to pass out at 8, DS kept coming back in i think but the medsnkicked in and I have just woken ret ching at 10 and hes put himself to bed. My pupils are huge and I feelassicely sick. I cant focus on anything abd I'm not aure whats really happened..
It comes in waves, i don't really know whats going on. I remember reading him a story then in must have hit me. Its so strong. Worried i cant really remember the last 2 hours anf that I'm going to puke everywhere. Writing this is hard cause my eyes are all over the place

Just read posts since 21.46- thank you xx

Ah crap, that sounds horrible.

What strength have you got?
20mg is pretty standard, but it might be easier for you to start with 10mg.

Can you contact your dr tomorrow? Even just to speak to somebody by phone?

Bless your DS - what a sweetie.

Ive got 20mg. Do you think they're a bit strong? I feel wasted, if this was during the day i couldnt drive ir go to uni. Ive got a lit review to do, i haven't even started and i cant do it like this.

Yes DS is so good bless his heart.

No, 20mg is a very standard, average dose, but as you seem quite sensitive to them it would be worth your while asking for some 10mg tablets, even just for a week or 10 days, and then step up to 20mg.

Don't give up on them if you can bear it.
Citalopram is good for low mood AND anxiety which is why I suspect they were chosen for you.

I agree you probably need to 'write off' a few days until you've settled down to them.
Like I said starting problems like this are unfortunately not uncommon, but do usually settle. The tricky bit is getting through those hard few initial days - you cannot skip them, can you?

Do you think you'll get some sleep tonight?

Book a telephone appointment for as early as possible tomorrow; adjusting the dose or switching the ad probably won't need a face to face appt.

Sorry you're getting this strong a reaction to the meds. Keep your gp well informed.

Could you cut them in half and build up gradually yourself if you can't get advice from your GP?

I took them myself for a short time and I think I started on 10mg not 20.

Try and hang in there if you possibly can. They should give you a but of much needed distance from all the things that are overwhelming you.

Ah good plan re taking half! I'll try to ring the doctor in the morning.
Thinking of 'him' a lot tonight.

Morning Sure

Hope you got a sleep. Take it easy on yourself.

Sure - I'v just caught up and I'm feeling sick and panicky on your behalf! I hope you can speak to a doctor today - make sure you are on the right dose and the right drug (there are lots out there)
Bless DS - he's so good ! You are doing amazingly well with him.

Good morning, sure! (and everybody on Team Sure! ) Hope you got good sleep and things are settling down.

Is this DS' last day of school for term, or dies he push through to Friday? Esp if the latter, get some sleep!

Hugs from us.

Morning,
Ds is through til Friday, he's got his class party today
I really don't know whether to keep taking these tablets, they are making me feel so much worse. I know I have to take a few weeks getting through the initial side effects but they are so bad!
I need to be able to drive as DS has school and I am driving to Cornwall next week to see my friend for Christmas.
But I am really struggling with driving on these tablets, I shouldn't be doing it I think.
The box says "Do not drive if affected" but I HAVE to. If I don't, we'd have to walk an hour to school, and i'd have to walk an hour back.
My body cant cope with that due to all the other side effects I've got like dizziness, extreme nausea, pounding head, cant seem to even think properly, grinding my teeth, dry mouth etc. Anxiety. I was visualising self harm/slitting my wrists in my head last night, although that's not what I want to do at all, the pictures kept flashing up. That can be a side effect too, apparently. I don't like that at all.

I just need to lie down all the time. I am not getting much sleep at all and what I get is patchy and worse than before.
I think I have got a cold, but one of the side effects is nasal irritation, so i'm not sure if its that or a cold.
Just feel like utter shite!
I've got so much to do,
I haven heard back from my uni tutor or from the PO.
I just want to be able to think clearly again. :(

Hi sure - I started on 10mg per day and went up to 20mg per day after about a week. I think going on a half dose for now is definitely a good idea.

I hope you don't mind me offering an opinion; although ADs feel shit to begin with, they should eventually make you feel quite a lot better and more able to cope. The irony of taking a pill to make you feel better that initially makes you feel far worse is not lost on me

If you feel that you can hold on at a low dose and get used to them then I do think you would benefit overall, but of course only you know how you feel and so the final decision is your own. All I can say is that I experienced similar symptoms to you when starting on citalopram and they did pass after a week or so and I did start to feel much better.

Oh and wrt the nasal irritation thing; if the snot never goes yellow/green then I think it's the ADs and not a cold!

surereadyforchange delurking because you need to know I believe you. You're going through hell right now but you'll find a way through.

AnotherSurvivorTiggaxx

Please Sure contact your doctor. You need to know if it's worth struggling on. I know some people who just cannot get on with certain drugs and your reactions do seen extreme.
Thomas, love Team Sure!

Oh god I've just started bleeding heavily, not due for another 4 days, and i usually get a 'visual warning ' I'm about to come on, not just full on bleeding and no pain, normally I get bad period pain.
Bit freaked out