Being heard: Sure's journey (thread 3)

[surereadyforchange]

previous (2nd) thread

What to say? Abusive rapist ex reported, Police Statement given over a month ago and he is still blissfully unaware, still messaging, and nothing has happened.

Sure

We know that you didnt want to drop the case, and we understand why you are doing what you are doing. None of it makes you look like "crazy liar ex girlf". and to be honest, as educatingarti said, dont worry about what it looks like. That is not important.

He hasnt destroyed you: far from it. You are still here and you are moving forward - life will get better.

What are you scared of?

I'm glad your gp is helpful and supportive, and has referred you to specialists. How long is that likely to take?

Have you checked the Freedom Programme (I'm really sorry, I can't remember)? You would find more support there too. Obviously, the more RL support you can garner the better.

He hasn't destroyed you. Beaten you down, yes, but you're pulling yourself back upright again. Remember what a good job you did with your presentation last week? And all the sweet things your DS says and does?

Those are YOUR achievements, and you are continuing to achieve by putting one foot in front of the other in the face of huge barriers.

Little by little, you will prove to yourself (as you've already proved to the rest of us) how strong and resilient you are. Yes, it's exhausting just coping, but be kind to yourself, factor in some treats and chill out time, and gradually you'll get there.

You are not destroyed. You are not. You just don't know how strong you are. Get a piece of card, write "STRONG RESOURECEFUL WOMAN" on it and stick it to your forehead put it in your pocket so you can reach in and feel it whenever you feel wobbly (and until the meds kick in.)

As for him, I bet you've terrified him. Like all bullies, he's a coward and now he won't know whether the next time he sees you it'll be the old NotSure or the new DamnSure.

Ooh Teeny love it:

"the old NotSure" or the new "DamnSure"

This, 1000 times, this.

Sure, Teeny is right - you have more than likely scared the shit clean out of him. He has not destroyed you.

Actually, Sure, it would be better if you spelled 'resourceful' right....
Especially if it's going on your forehead.

Wooooah should I be feeling this weird after one tablet?

Sorry Sure didn't mean to worry you - the main side effects I had were stomach upsets and were well worth it for the reduction in anxiety.
I'm on my phone at the moment but just did a general search - it looks like many of the threads are in General Health. There's one called Citalopram anyone?

Feeling really high and weird, dry mouth and everything smells funny! Like chemically.
DS was just talking and i had no idea what he was saying!

sure - it may be very temporary side-effects. I had them starting on another AD. I found that slowly sipping fizzy water really helped me as I kept feeling sick. The side effects didn't last so long and then things started to improve.

How are you doing Sure? Hope you are OK, thinking of you.

Hi, sure, I'm glad you found a sympathetic ear at your dr's.

The first few days on any antidepressant can be tough - Citalopram is good to help settle anxiety and life you mood; with time.
Give it 5-7 days for the initial side effects to settle and 2-3 weeks to feel any better, by 4-6 weeks you should have a fair idea that you are better. I know all this is a long time to wait and feel rubbish, but you'll get there.

You can try taking them before or after food to see what agrees better with you. Or take them just before you go to bed for a few days and see how that agrees with you.

Citalopram belongs to the group of SSRI antidepressants - the most well-known one if Prozac, I suppose.

I hope the WA woman will get back to you v soon.

Its calmed down a lot now, thanks! I felt really wasted
Think I might take tomorrows before bed so that when it kicks in I'll just be able to be really high and confused in a nice warm comfortable bed.
It said on the front of the box that driving skills may be impaired. I definitely don't want to pick up DS like I was today again.
I texted WA lady to ask what I should do now as i'm worried what he'll do once he is told ive dropped things and she just said change your phone number. I guess that's the end of my appointments..?

Sorry Pacific, cross posted with you then.
Glad to know its normal to feel strange on the first few days, and that i'm not having a bad reaction. I felt really high! There must be strong stuff in them, but I will take your advice and stick with them.
The doctor said she was really anti-pills but still advised them. I initially said no to medication as my mum made me go on them at 15 for my 'mental problems' and I was on and off them til I was 20 and escaped backpacking on my own, and funnily enough once I was away from toxic people I felt much better

Glad to hear you are feeling a little better. Before bed sounds like a safe time to try taking your meds, I hope things settle down soon. Sorry but that WA woman sounds suit! Unhelpful much?!

I'm guessing the meds won't be forever, you sound like you are coping as well as can be expected, in fact better. Don't see them as a defeat, they are just a useful tool to help you get back to you again.

suit

shit!

They really are weird first few days. When I first went on them, I slept 20 of 24 hours a day for 2-3 days. it were rather nice, really!

Hope you're well. PM or FB me if you want to chat.

I feel so strange.
Still feel a bit panicky.. trying to think calm thoughts. trying to watch some shite on iplayer to distract my thoughts

I guess its just like... this is it.

I really, really can't sleep, I feel incredibly panicky and worried.. I don't know what i'm frightened of.

sorry I wasn't awake for you last night. hope you got some sleep in the end.

Hi Sure

Hope you got through the night ok. It is a long time since i took citalopram and i think i remember that i was a bit like that at the start....almost like it exacerbated things....but it did calm down. I also got the dry mouth, lots of yawning/exhaustion and that slightly dizzy sick feeling. But it did pass and the ADs did eventually help me restore some sense of equilibrium to deal with other stuff.

I dont know if it is the citalopram causing the panicky feelings or if you are just already at such a high fever pitch of panic because everything that has happened has overwhelmed you. Possibly it is both. I would imagine that your body is running on adrenaline and flooded with cortisol and those hormones are helping to feed the fear.

try to be be extra gentle with yourself. Lots of rest, lots of fluids, eat what you can and try to do the mindfulness thing. ask yourself "Am i safe in this moment? [Yes] Am i in any danger? [No] : then try to focus on those facts.

Well ive been at the clinic this morning getting more bloods taken for st i tests. Not fun.
Feel crap from the meds and think I'm getting tonsillitis as my throat is really painful and stabby when i swallow.
I've just rung PO and they don't know when he'll be back in!
Nothing from.WA.
Worried about taking tablet after side effects from last one.

Still panicky. And hungry but cant eat.

I think the panicky feeling is pretty normal under the circumstances....and any medication for anxiety will take a few days to kick in and there will be some side effects....the nature of the beast unfortunately.

Keep drinking, and maybe try some ice cream or something similar. Might numb the sore throat?