Being heard: Sure's journey (thread 3)

[surereadyforchange]

previous (2nd) thread

What to say? Abusive rapist ex reported, Police Statement given over a month ago and he is still blissfully unaware, still messaging, and nothing has happened.

When really down, do something nice, a warm bath, something comforting to eat and a hot drink or if it is really bad the Samaritans are always there to listen- I called them in the middle of the night when I thought I was never going to stop crying, and again the next day when I woke up crying again. They were brilliant. All you have to do is dial the number, they will take it from there.

And then there is us lot, there is usually someone here too. Chest pains sound like panic- if you get panic attacks, do you know how to control your breathing to get it back under control?

www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/panic.asp

Keep on keeping on Sure, each day is another day further along your journey. We are by your side.

Please can you keep talking to me, I cant stop shaking

I keep having really bad thoughts. Have put DS oon my tablet so he doesn't notice I'm freaking out
I cant ring Samaritans as DS will hear

Come on sweetie you can do it. Deep breaths and talk to us when you are ready.

Would it help to tell DS you're having a bath and then go hide in the loo for a bit? At least you can have a cry then

Can you do something physical to distract your body? Even something like dancing, star jumps, hoovering - anything to use your pent up energy.

Just ran a bath and sat in it while DS on landing playing with tablet and had silent cry- hung onto my legs like they were some kind of life raft. He's in there now, I can get my breath now, but 'm scared to think of things again in case it starts again.
I don't know if I get panic attacks, I think I might have had one when DS dad had a go at me the other weekend, I think I had one in the back of the police car last night - lip/jaw and whole body juddering and shaking, I couldn't breathe - felt like someone was squeezing around my chest and I could breathe out but it would tighten and I couldn't get any air back in. I was struggling ot breathe just then (today) and I couldn't concentrate at all - my mind all jittery and can get enough air in and keep thinking i'm going to die, i'm going to die :( and shaking, but not as bad as in the police car

in the bath I really felt like I am dead, but the body is going on living and getting really confused and fixated - horrible feeling

That sounds like a panic attack to me sure.

My counsellor says that if you're finding your feelings hard to cope with, it might help to tell yourself that 'this is just how I feel right now and i accept it'. I think that if you add to the current stress by fighting yourself, it only makes you feel worse. Get through each minute one at a time - don't look further than that.

Lovely Sure, you can get through this. You can. You can. What do you need right now from us?

this sounds like panic to me. But if you think you are poorly then you must get proper help.

Panic attacks make you feel as if you are dying, breath gets short, heart pounds, ears ring, you feel faint, you feel sick, you think that you might not remember how to keep living... If this is how you are feeling- it could be panic. And the answer is carbon dioxide, you need to breathe into your cupped hands or breath in for 5 and out for 11- yes you need carbon dioxide not oxygen- It sounds wrong but the oxygen is making you feel light headed and sick. You might be over breathing (too deep or too often) if you can slow it down and get less oxygen in you will start to feel better. But you must only do this if you know that this is safe. If in doubt phone 111 and they can talk you through this.

Panic is the most frightening experience ever and you can get over it.

Are you oK?

Sure?

Breathe in through your nose, counting to 5. Breathe out through your mouth counting to 11.
Again.
Again.
Keep breathing like that.

Just an OK on here will do...

I should have said, if it is panic it will make you feel as if you are dying, BUT YOU ARE NOT. It is an ancient body mechanism that you are experiencing. I feels awful and it is surmountable. It is about breathing. Jux's instructions are spot on.

OKay, i'm breathing.
Keep going over things in my head - just feel like I cant calm down. DS is in bed- super acted my way through bedtime, couldn't cope with cuddling him to sleep so said I had some work to do - lying there in the darkwith him so still and quiet freaked me out, I don't know why, kept thinking I was in the grave... This is really awful.

Thank yu ou for talking to me, 0 doing the breathing counting thing.
I think this all started with what happened yesterday...
I'll try to get it out here as sometimes that helps.. hope it comes out ok

Thanks Sure

Do what you need to do.

We are here.

Jusr concentrating on getting breath in at the mo.

Its like a little mantra plays in my head, before it was "I;,m gonna die, i'm gonna die" now its "i cant cope, I cant cope". I do realise I sound nuts!

Its like a little mantra plays in my head, before it was "I;,m gonna die, i'm gonna die" now its "i cant cope, I cant cope". I do realise I sound nuts!

If you are aware of a mantra then when you become aware of what you are thinking try changing the mantra to "I am coping, I am coping, I can cope". I am getting through this, I am getting through this".

or

"I have given myself permission to change and I am going to get through this".

Ok i'm going for a nice short "get through it, get through it, its fine, get through it"
Good Idea, Orange xx

You dont sound nuts at all, you sound like someone who is struggling to get through the moment. The thoughts you describe are normal in your situation, and the way that you can get around them it to override them with a mantra of your own which is positive. When the negative thoughts pour in; be aware of them for a moment and then replace them with a mantra that you would rather hear.

well done Sure! good thinking :) keep on with this.

Delurking to add my support.

You've had a couple of panic attacks - I've had them too and it's horrid but you will be fine. Breathe deeply into a bag or your hands. Concentrate on that, nothing else. In...and out. In...and out.

You're not going to die. You're incredibly brave and strong and you've been through a lot.

keep going with your positive thoughts. More important keep with the 5 11 breathing if you can,

breathe in for 5

breathe out for 11

repeat until you feel better. Use anytime. It works, if you remember to do it.

Keep breathing, sure.