DH made a confession - do men/women really go to these lengths to as out someone they fancy?

[RainbowDash123]

Yesterday evening my husband out the the blue landed a bomb on me due to his guilt. Now I'm not sure if I can believe his version of events as to me this doesn't sound normal.

So 2 weeks ish ago DH got a weeks free trial at a huge gym. I used to be a member there myself.

He said that on the first day he went there after his work out, him and his friend stayed for a drink at the juice bar on the way out of the gym. (I know they serve free drinks and it does get packed out) he said he was sat with his mate then his mate recognised someone he knew so went and sat at another table for 5 mins. Other people started joining him at his table.

This woman joined him and started making convocation and introduced herself and he told her his name.

A couple of days later he saw her again and they briefly spoke, and the next time he saw her they just smiled and waved at one another.

He free trial was then up and he never went back.

Last week he went out Xmas shopping, the shopping centre he was at was a couple of mins from the gym. Before heading home he had a quick ciggie and checked his phone. There was a text from "gym girl" saying she hadn't seen him lately. Anyway long story short after texting a couple of times she asked him to meet her in the pub round the corner (as it was a coincidence they were so close)

According to him nothing happened, it was a quick drink. She asked if he was single and he said he was happily married and wasn't quite sure what he was doing here with her. So he said sorry and left.

Now he has said he didn't find her attractive and she was about 8-10years younger than me. But they did have quite a bit in common.

Now here's the bit I can't get my head round, he never gave her his number. He had to sign into the gym every time so say a form left on reception that all non members sign and he had to put his number on. He swears this is how she got it.

My heads in a bit of a pickle at the mo as this is so strange. And apperntly gym girl now won't stop texting him.

So, do people really go to these lengths to hunt down people they like?

I'd love to hear your stories as this is kinda serial and I've never had anything like this happen to me.

and so, you have your chat aboput what is "missing"

he says "excitement"

what do you do then ?

start acting like a performing monkey to keep his attention ?

be careful what you wish for...

I think his respect for you is missing.

tbh I'm impressed at how quickly he shops. There's only 7 minutes between his purchases in New Look and River Island. That does make him seem like a seasoned shopper

Sorry to sound flippant Op I hope you get to the bottom of it.

I think I'm going to have to set a presedent tonight and stand upto this shit!

Just re reading through this and it's the 4th time it's happened. He's not flirty by nature. But this keeps happening. The cleaner from work, yeah il give him that. I don't think for one second he would of led her on. The DV situation I'm not sure about, it was him that asked her out for a drink.

He won't learn that this isn't on. I need to make a stand. I'm not saying I will leave him over this but I gotta make him pay for it!

Sorry OP - massive x-post

The strange thing is that the texts don't make it any better because he still went to meet her and then went for a drink. Even if he felt pressured to meet her outside the gym because she said her battery was dying and he didn't want her standing there all night waiting for him, he didn't need to go for a drink.

It'll be interesting to see if he thinks there's anything wrong with his boundaries because as long as he doesn't, then he isn't going to change.

I got the impression Rainbow's going to help him get some new boundaries Good luck, OP!

I would pay her a visit. Or get her number and text her from your phone and see what carries on.

I got the impression Rainbow's going to help him get some new boundaries

Do they sell those in New Look?
Sorry OP I coudn't resist

Ups, wrong thread.

Definitely the wrong thread Lweji

Although spy drone planes might actually help this case. :)

The texts and receipts show that he's telling you the truth (now).

I have two questions. What, if anything, did he tell you at the time? Secondly, has he sent any text to her explaining that he's not interested and please stop texting?

She sounds like she always gets what she wants and is a bit of a stalker! And he needs to grow some balls and be more assertive. He needs to tell these women from the off that he's married and not interested.

The texts read (to me) like she knew where he was, a bit convenient that he's only around the corner. More like she knows exactly where he is! Bunny boiler was thrown around the thread earlier but yeah, I'd go with that.

sounds to me like he planned to get off with her, turned up to meet her, then either perhaps someone you/he knows saw him in a bar withthis woman and he rapped himdelf and came home

or he he still planned to go there and get off with her, yet when it because realailty he got cold feet

sorry op you deserve better

Those texts sound so off... He says he should be going home now, she demands that he not only meet her as requested but that he HURRIES UP; and he jumps to do her bidding. Why??

I agree it all sounds very off.

There is no plausible explanation as to why he went to meet her unless he actually wanted to. Given she apparently got his number by some strange and unknown means I find it odd that he engaged in a text conversation with her at all let alone was happy to tell her where he was and to change his plans to go and meet her.

I think not.

Why did he continue texting her and then go and meet her? Very ofd behaviour

Lies, lies, lies. It's amazing how many 'crazy women' kept pursuing my DH. When he got sacked for stalking the receptionist, I read her statement and saw who was really the crazy one; all his chat up techniques were the ones he used in me back in the day. Made me shudder ...

I have to admit your DH sounds very lacking in social skills.

I don't think it's about laying down the law, more a case of educating him about what is acceptable behaviour from other women and that it's appropriate shut down protracted contact initiated by others.

Not sure i believe that. It is all too blameless! She got his number he didnt give it to her!? Really. If so, why did he meet up with her. I think it'd be risky from a cheater's perspective to meet a woman for a drink when she had tracked him down! More like he gave her his number so he dudnt feel alarmed by her initiating contact. Afterall was he really xmas shoppinh in november?? Or was he deliberately conveniently close when she texted him

How would she even know he was close by?

And 7 minutes between purchases? Even if I knew what I wanted I could never be that fast. First you have to walk between stores, find the item and then queue up to pay.

Do you think the credit card's lying as well, Kim??

When you looked at the phone did you check the actual phone number that the "gymbunny" texts came from? Or was it just stored under gym bunny's name?

If he has two phones, it's not hard to fake a text conversation. You just have to change the name of the contact its stored under.

I wouldn't put too much store on the receipt timings as that depends on how the clock on the machine is set so they may be out by easily 10 mins either way.

I was thinking the same as you Bonfire.

He sounds like an ex of mine. Love the attention and tried hard to get me jealous whilst seeming innocent He didn't last long.