DH made a confession - do men/women really go to these lengths to as out someone they fancy?

[RainbowDash123]

Yesterday evening my husband out the the blue landed a bomb on me due to his guilt. Now I'm not sure if I can believe his version of events as to me this doesn't sound normal.

So 2 weeks ish ago DH got a weeks free trial at a huge gym. I used to be a member there myself.

He said that on the first day he went there after his work out, him and his friend stayed for a drink at the juice bar on the way out of the gym. (I know they serve free drinks and it does get packed out) he said he was sat with his mate then his mate recognised someone he knew so went and sat at another table for 5 mins. Other people started joining him at his table.

This woman joined him and started making convocation and introduced herself and he told her his name.

A couple of days later he saw her again and they briefly spoke, and the next time he saw her they just smiled and waved at one another.

He free trial was then up and he never went back.

Last week he went out Xmas shopping, the shopping centre he was at was a couple of mins from the gym. Before heading home he had a quick ciggie and checked his phone. There was a text from "gym girl" saying she hadn't seen him lately. Anyway long story short after texting a couple of times she asked him to meet her in the pub round the corner (as it was a coincidence they were so close)

According to him nothing happened, it was a quick drink. She asked if he was single and he said he was happily married and wasn't quite sure what he was doing here with her. So he said sorry and left.

Now he has said he didn't find her attractive and she was about 8-10years younger than me. But they did have quite a bit in common.

Now here's the bit I can't get my head round, he never gave her his number. He had to sign into the gym every time so say a form left on reception that all non members sign and he had to put his number on. He swears this is how she got it.

My heads in a bit of a pickle at the mo as this is so strange. And apperntly gym girl now won't stop texting him.

So, do people really go to these lengths to hunt down people they like?

I'd love to hear your stories as this is kinda serial and I've never had anything like this happen to me.

When I'm slim, I get attention (so I like to be fat) but when I do I'm careful to shut down niceness by mentioning the OH and making my situation clear. I also talk to DH about incidents as they happen. I can see how people who don't ask for attention get it anyway and how if they don't pick up on the signs the other person will be too forwards.

Trust your instincts on this OP.

Receipts have been located.

7:40 reserved items at Argos
8:02 new look
8:09 river island

So looks like he wasn't in there very long with her. But will have to see the phone tonight.

Yes serious talk needed this eve regardless of what the texts do or do not prove.

He and his mate went together as they went in friends car, so they would of most likely gone to the juice bar together.

Thinking about it I get propositioned quite often doing daily day to day things. And I always tell DH, not in a woo look what I can achieve type of way.

The last sentence is interesting. Maybe he needs to show you that he is attractive to other women as well?
Have you seen the texts? Could he be making it up?

So you also get propositioned quite often whilst going about your daily business, op? What are the chances of that?

You must be quite a spectacularly deluded ravishing couple...
Do men chase after you in the street and give you flowers? time to lay off the Impulse, I think

You both get randomly propositioned on a regular basis? Really?

Could the insurance lady be trying to reach your OH as well?

Thinking about it I get propositioned quite often doing daily day to day things.

Come on, admit it, you're Samantha Brick aren't you?

I think she means everyday sexism type stuff. It does happen a lot when you're very fit - OP said she was a regular gym user.

On the other hand, she might be as utterly irresistible as Samantha Brick

This thread is utterly bizarre.

Sounds like you're both playing a very dangerous 'game'.

A game that will end in tears one day.

Oh Christ no I'm not gods gift or anything! I seem to attract randoms in the street, but I have to say most of them seem quite unsavoury characters I don't get any pleasure in this at all. Quite the opposite. (I should add we live very close to a male offenders hostle)

Put together all in one go it sounds bad. But for DH it's 4 times in 10years. And I believe him about that.

And another poster was spot on mines been, whistled at, beeped at, winks, ect. Most strange was waiting outside church hall for a lift some guy shouted out of his house window. Don't sit there in the cold come in here for a cuppa and wait with me. Odd totally odd.

Do you mean you get catcalled a fair bit? That's not unusual. You know him best, MN might not be the best place for advice because on paper it doesn't look great does it ?!

Getting catcalled by unsavoury types is nothing at all like two people who fancy each other flirting and exchanging numbers.

DH was just messaged to say he is leaving work now and wants to drop both mobiles off his personal and work and wants me to do my thing whilst he goes to the supermarket.

So I need to double check the texts times and dates. I will screen shot them.
Will look at the text logs to make sure it corresponds with the texts (so they haven't been deleted to make him look better)

I found myself today logging onto his fb to see if he had any new friends added. God I hate this suspicion it's horrible.

I think he unfairly blames you for being catcalled and harassed in the street and does all this to "keep you on your toes" Hes playing games and if it were me i wouldnt have the patience for it.

just out of curiosity, does he always go xmas shopping early in November? What did he actually buy?

What you describe is not really being propositioned. That's the sort of thing many women encounter when out and about.
Not in the same way as your OH who got as far as meeting these people and exchanging phone numbers.

I do think he enjoys it. You are already pretty jealous and checking his FB account.
Or there's more to it than he says.

I think I'd become disinterested at this stage and see what he does.
Don't bother with the phones or anything. And ask him why he is telling you all this.

This bloke spends a lot of time shopping

What's he buying in New Look and River Island? Especially at the begining of November.
Sure he wasn't going round those shops with gymbunny?
Have you received a gift lately? underwear maybe

What did he get in New Look? Where is the item he bought?

This bloke spends a lot of time shopping

Shopping is a one of the main alibis cheats use for 'leaving the house to meet another person. Nobody questions Shopping.
Not saying this is the case with OP's OH.

Maybe he does just Love shopping

I hope you find the truth tonight, whatever that may be.

Another hoping you find the truth & wish you well.

He rarely goes shopping. Yes most years he would of finished his shopping by now. He bought our daughters gifts in both shops. Pjs, hat scarf and gloves a cuddly and a bit of tat jewels.

I did look at his phone, both of them and his story rings true. THis is how it starts.

GYM BUNNY: Hey Trevor, guess who? It's gym bunny from the gym. Haven't seen you lately, did you not join.

DH: No I didn't become a member.

DH: Wait how did you get my number.

GYM BUNNY: I have my ways, lol,

GYM BUNNY: what you upto?

DH: I'm just shopping at shopping centre complex

GYM BUNNY: I'm just at the juice bar, come meet me at the pub next door?

DH: I really should be heading back home now.

GYM BUNNY: Come meet me, my batterys dying I will wait outside the gym for for you. HURRY UP!

Then nothing until half hour after he got home.

Then: why did you run out on me like that.

Then tonnes of simular messages.

I am relived it seems what he says is true but big words needed this eve over boundaries. I know it's nice to feel wanted, and a ego boost now and again is kinda flattering but OMG how could he of been so stupid.

If he would of been spotted, and its quite possible as on a weds it packed out up there. I would of thought he was having a affair.

Not sure where to go from here but it's a good opportunity for us to have a chat about our marriage and see if there's anything that's missing.

There won't be anything missing in your marriage, but there is something awry with his morals