In laws have ditched us for Christmas Day.

[TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe]

Pils have been to is for the past two years and were invited this year.

SIL (married to their other son) sent me a weird text the other day about having invited them to hers so they weren't alone on Christmas Day. I immediately replied and said but they are coming to ours? She replied with ok then. So I figured it was just a miscommunication.

Mil phoned dh this morning and said she hopes we don't mind but as SIL has invited them as well they are going there as they haven't been there before on Christmas Day. Dh said of course we don't mind.

Well actually I fucking well do mind. I turned down an invitation from my side of the family because we were hosting the PILs. We will now be spending the day just us which I've never done and IMO will be fucking boring. SIL is also having her parents. My family is now committed elsewhere and there is no room for us (we are a family of five).

I'm fucking raging. Dh won't hear a word against his parents but I think they are rude ignorant fucking arseholes for this. Would never ever say that in rl and we do all get on well.

Is it me? This is shockingly rude of them and SIL, isn't it?

I'm loving Twizzle's reading between the non existent lines and deciding I've emotionally blackmailed them into coming for the past few years.

For a start it's two years not three. And we started inviting them because they asked, after we had a baby (older two are my children). In previous years they went to their eldest son but he is now with a DP who prefers to go to her parents.

I have sacrificed my own family Christmas for the in laws. They have now had a better offer from their middle son and ditched us.

I'm more cross with SIL for being weird and faux-naive about it.

But I'm over it now and we are actually spending Christmas with my cousin who is my age and has a dd the same age as our youngest so it will be more fun than entertaining my fairly staid and elderly in laws.

But thank you all for all your posts, it's really helped me today to not rant at dh and bitch about his family.

It's all worked out for the absolute best.

Well op if you like you can have my parents to stay if you like. Seeing as I have had them every year for the last 26 years while my sisters jets off on a sunny holiday. (No not jealous me)

I'd be annoyed that I'd turned down Christmas with my own parents to spend it with my DH's who then decided to go somewhere else. So I can see where you're coming from.

Glad you're over it now though and it sounds like you have something fun planned. And next year you know what to do!

god i would be kissing the ground ,but then i detest my inlaws

I think it's very rude of them & completely understand why you'd be upset. That said, given what you've said about your SIL, perhaps your MIL felt she had no choice but to accept her offer or risk never being invited again. It also sounds like a close family thing - I know it doesn't make it right but perhaps your MIL feels close enough to you that you'd understand & not be annoyed by them going elsewhere after accepting your offer?

Christmas with your cousin sounds great - I'd love a big family Christmas but mine & DHs family are all too far away & it is great fun just the 5 of us on Christmas Day.

I'm glad you have a lovely Christmas planned but just another one to add that this would have royally ticked me off too and you were right to be miffed.

I hope I didn't offend anyone by suggesting Christmas on our own would be boring. I'm sure it wouldn't have been. And actually the idea is quite nice. I was just being all stressy and venting.

As a family of 5 you can have a great time at home, and indeed should every so often.

Sorry to be morbid but do you want your first Christmas with just the 5 of you to be when you're in mourning for the deceased older generation (and may that be many years off)

You need to build your own traditions, not try to hang on to christmas being with your parents generation around.

It was really rude of them to ditch you for a better offer. Very poor manners.

Next year, make sure you have plans to go exactly where you want and very politely explain to pil you're not around to host them.

You don't have to make it a big deal or a problem. You've just got other arrangements is all.

Now I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. You're clearly someone who really relishes the festivities and plans it well so everyone enjoys it.

Good for you!

You will have a lovely time with your new arrangements.

We are back to normal this year, hosting as per usual (went out last year, just the four of us as DH critically ill in hospital the year before and I still hosted). I so wish it was just us again this year... It was great watching the boys opening presents whilst drinking fizz instead of ducking in and out of the kitchen starting breakfasts for the guests and trying to tidy up etc.

I think Fish makes a fair point. In 30 years time you definitely don't want to end up being the MIL dragging everyone comes back to yours when they all have kids and ILs of their own.

It's lovely your cousins are coming, but lets face it, Christmas was always going to be better without your PILs and it would have been good to set a precedent of just your own family.

I heard a klaxon. I'm an adoring fan. What have I missed?

I'll come for Christmas. I warn you, ds is going through a poo jokes are funny phase.

Oh Showy you and yours would be most welcome. I love a good poo joke. Ds2 can rival him with stories of memorable wees in inappropriate places. It'll be great fun.

Can I wear a novelty hat and eat seconds?

Oh and the poo jokes aren't funny. Or jokes.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the ball?
He was made of poo.

What lies in a pram and wobbles?
Poo.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Poo.

For example.

I remember your many posts about your incredibly rude and offensive SIL.

It's her, no you. You sound like a ball wish you were a relly of mine - would love to be around yours

My DS is currently replacing random words with the word toilet. I want pasta for my toilet. Shall we go to soft play today toilet? Even "jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell toilet, jingle along the toilet"

Is yours 6 by any chance?

Ps OP obviously you weren't be unreasonable, your SIL is a bonker but all's well that ends well.

I think we should all go to TheLyingOldBitch's house for Christmas lunch. What do you say?

Showy, I laughed at those jokes.

An MN Christmas Day. What could be better?

DS is 3! It gets worse?!?

I'm going to Lying's with bells on. Literally.

glad you feel better

have a few years off from hosting them now