Four threads to freedom! Divorcing Twatchops once and for all

[thenamehaschanged]

Still can't copy and paste links but my last thread was New name, new game, less stress, more progress!

This really, really is the last one now - I hope that my story has helped anybody breaking free from abuse - it's bloody hard but you can do it!

I know Ribena - but I don't want to rock the boat for now - things are manageable for the meantime. The PO's come back to me to say yrs they're just going to keep the statement on file - so if he decides to do anything stupid in the future, I'll have it there.

Just texted my Dad to see if he fancies coming up tonight to do the drop off for me. I know I felt all right about it yesterday, but this morning not so confident. I would need to make eye contact and that's enough for him to start worming - honestly. Then he'd think he could may be push it a tiny bit further at drop off - yep I'm not ready yet, I need my Dad!

Thanks everyone for all your positives!! Love to you all (prawn stir fry at 2am Pedant? Mongolian BBQ? How fancy!!)

Checking in for Fred 5

not a Twatchop in sight... I think it gives a certain something to the ambience

How marvelous it that?!?!

I think its good to keep the police in your pocket for the moment Name, as you never know when Twatty might kick off. A swift kick in the bum to Twatty from the police 'should' keep him in line. He's a boundary pusher that one, never forget that.

Otherwise, that place is looking lovely. So impressed with what you have done with it

Ooh yes agree clutter - thank you, I realise that,

Hey Dinnae, yeah hamster hair and hamster poos! Every where they go they like to pop out a couple of poos while sniffing about! (how are things with your DH)

Hi Egg

Hey thanks Zazzles, nice of you to come and visit and yes agree too - I have a boundary pusher there who needs managing and I'm not ready even for momentary eye contact at the moment!

Good on you Name, for asking the appropriate people for support in real life though - this is what they are there for, to help you manage Twatty, should he decide to step out of line. I learned a long time ago, there is no 'off button' on these crazy types of people.

Love the new thread title Name

Hope I didn't make a pig of myself, name. Was awfully sweet of you to kit the place out so luxuriously; you're a great hostess*. Anyway, I'm only on my 4th bowl (saving space for the make-your-own sundae!).

• although, I have to call your attention to the leaky sink in the downstairs loo. maybe you should call in a plumber...

Good idea to get your Dad to do the dropoff, I hope he can make it.
Not only will it save you a load of stress, it will also reinforce to him that you really are no contact and what that means.

Good luck, your progress have been phenomenal

So glad I didn't offend with my last post on the old thread - I tried to come back yo check I hadn't upset you name, but my broadband decided my time was up and didn't let me back online until about ten minutes ago!

Lovely new thread, and glad you've asked your dad to help with handover - just make sure he doesn't get sucked into any 'woe is me' convos with TC!

Name, it is sooooo good to see your sense of humour still there, even after everything! That is testament to your strength.

Definitely use your dad for handovers while you need to.
Nothing wrong with that at all.
I still love the term twatchops very glad it made it into the title!
KOKO!

Ahh thanks everyone I don't know why I've had such a sense of humour about it all - hope it is strength like you say Jux.

Was at the FP this morning - it just gets more and more eye opening - to the point where you can sit there in disbelief at what has been happening. I've signed up for some specific abuse counselling with the other lovely FP lady as they were offering it. One of the girls on the course was saying how she worries about the amount of crying she's done in front of her DS - and she was told how crying is good, it's a healing emotion and not a sign of weakness etc, in fact it wouldn't be good if she never cried because that would show she had shut down and closed off. Well, that worried me because I haven't cried...at all - I think 2 threads back I managed to force out a cry by watching something sad but it's just not there - so either I'm a robot, or it's the anti depressants that have been holding me up and keeping me numb all this time. I've got a feeling that I should really think about weaning myself off them soon - not right now, but I think they have the potential to prevent the 'healing' - and then it really will be a blubfest round at Chez Thename!

Anyway, my Dad's on his way - I went and signed my statement with the PO - she said no worries they're not going to speak to him at the moment but she's aware that H is a character that can go either way. (Like all characters I guess!)

Thanks again everyone

Absolutely, that's what our Dads are for!

It's natural that you are feeling a bit skittish about being around Twatty. It's still new, the separation, even though you've been mentally out of the marriage for awhile. No wonder you don't want to have to deal with his attempts at manipulation!

Hooray for your Dad, it really sounds as if they have turned a corner, as they didn't seem that supportive initially. I'm so pleased they are coming through for you now.

Name people deal with things in their own way. I cry like a baby at movies, soppy ads, & sad songs, but when I'm having to deal with a bad situation I'm almost robotic. I have to tamp things down to KOKO. Then when it's all over, the tears flow.

You are still in the midst of all of this. It may be that you are doing the same thing. Don't worry that you haven't broken down. That time may come later. Or it may just be that you have already cried so many tears over your marriage that there just are no tears left! I never broke down over my first marriage because by the time I had the courage to boot him out I had already cried to the point where I really had no sadness left in me. There was only happiness and relief.

Actually Pond I completely agree - I grieved the end of my marriage while still in it - there were plenty of tears then while still being on these meds - now it's just a case of head down koko with the practicalities.

Thanks Fluffy! Yes good old Dad haha - only took them 10 years to see my point!

Glad to hear your dad is breaking out with the practical support and surely knowing he is on the scene as well will get some sort of message across to TC...

Yes I think so too Alice - he won't be expecting to see my Dad and then thankfully after tonight I don't need to worry about any hand overs or anything til next week when hopefully Bil can be around for support

Well, they're on board now, so that's something.

YY to the crying. It's probably a good thing that you don't cry when you have to be strong.

Woohoo big cheer for names dad. Glad they are stepping up for you. Just popping in after busy day to say... You're still amazing and don't trust BIL he's twattys brother not your friend.

Btw love the thread title.

Hi Name. He's doing OK. The op went wrong but he's OK now. Won't relax until he has had a few scans to check for spread to his chest but we are cautiously optimistic. Thanks for asking, it means a lot.
I too think anger has replaced sadness for you and anger is a much more useful emotion and healthier for you too.

Also, I don't think you will cry until you feel completely safe and that will be a while. Once you and T'chops are in a pattern of civilised co-parenting and you have your future mapped out you might find you will cry. Always have wine on hand is my advice! :)

It could be the ad's 'stopping' you crying but tbf I wouldn't worry about it. There's plenty of time to cry when the time is right. I go through long times when I don't cry (also engaged in a battle) and then the cycle comes around again and I cry a lot. For now, you're working your way through the mother of a battle - brilliantly, I have to say - and perhaps it's better you aren't sprawled across the floor in floods. There are times to be resolute - no space to cry - and that time is perhaps now for you.

You and your story are an inspiration to so many people, name.

I only ever cry when I feel a bad situation is pretty much dealt with, then I can afford to feel again.