URGENT Please give your tips to heal a broken heart

[innerstrength100]

He said I was his soulmate and he would never ever let me go. He has let me go. Although we didn't live together, he has been part of our family for 2 and half years, and I have never felt so loved as I did in that time.

Have boxed up everything he's ever given me and put in loft. Working up towards deleting all text messages.

Please please post any tips you have to help heal a broken heart as quickly as possible.

get another one
just for fun

It's so hard :(
I feel for you.
I would say give yourself a week if you can, of wallowing.
Don't push it. Almost treat yourself like you are unwell. Some research such has shown breaking up from a lover is akin to drug withdrawal in the body and I can honestly relate to that.
So eat well and rest, let yourself cry when you need to - don't fight it or it will come back tenfold. Lots of trashy TV NOT about love though, what I watched was crime channels , something with a bit of mystery!
I honestly , from bitter experience , would get rid of the number if you can. I have sent totally crushing messages where I lost my dignity. Don't let it come to that, really it hurts more but delete the number.
Huge hugs x

Emmalouise, wow, if I can feel that much better in the space of a month I will be amazed! How did you do it?

Accept that this is a devastating thing to happen to you. Don't beat yourself up for feeling bad, this is a devastating thing and you should be feeling devastated. It seems like he led you to believe he loved you and then let you down in a very big way.

Tell yourself over and over again that you are a fantastic person who has a great future ahead. Watch some comedies on telly to cheer yourself up and get out and about for a walk. Accept any invitations that come your way.

Accept that it will take time to get over this. There is no magical cure. Being busy and spending time with friends helps a bit but you are not going to forget him overnight.

It is awful and I feel for you. I was let down very unexpectedly by someone I was with for two years and completely adored. I made it worse by thinking that I would never move on and meet someone else.

Be very kind to yourself, be your own best friend. Read a good book to take you mind off him. Remember that you will get over this!

I think it helped a lot because he did always rub it in about his new relationship. I also bored my mum to tears talking about it every single day. I now just think he's a shit and I'm well rid. I remember thinking it was going to take me years to feel better and searching the internet to try and find answers.
Speak to anyone who will listen and remember all the bad parts. Better things are coming your way!

Also look at my previous posts. I was a complete mess and it's embarrassing but I'm in such a better place to where I was then! It might help you realise you will get through this

Morning Innerstrength! How are you feeling today?

I can't stress enough to

KEEP A JOURNAL

Write all your feelings down. Write it as if it's a letter to him .it's so therapeutic to get those jumbled thoughts from your head down onto a paper.

It saves you from texting him.

Write and write and wrote. Honestly. It's the best therapy as it physically gets it right out of your system.

I read mine often just to have a good laugh at all the drivel I wrote.

At some point in the future when you are with your wonderful man you will look back and know you dodged a bullet although it doesn't feel like that now.

Not every man is a little shit. Some can fall out of love for no reason. Presuming there's no one else.

His love for you changed . It's hard. If he really really is a nice man it will have been hard for him too.

Onwards and upwards. One day at a time. Get writing ;-)

Thanks for checking.

Positive: I am wearing some brand new, very expensive Ted Baker underwear, and have put a dress on instead of slobby leggings. No point of putting makeup on (see below).

Negative: Can't stop crying. Just can't stop. Feel really panicked at the thought of being without him.

Do you exercise? You might not feel like it but trust me, it helps. I do a DVD at home I don't even have to step out of the house, but find after doing it, I want to. Try it for a few days.

Work on your own inner strength and love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Let yourself cry and grieve for the relationship. Talk

YY to exercise but I think you already are

YY to writing it all down - that helped me to park my emotions for a while

Don't beat yourself up about crying. Of course you're crying, you've had your heart broken. It's ony natural you're crying.

Is there an OW? If there is, try not to obsess about her. That is the world's most pointless thing

Keep on keeping on inner

Yes doing stupid amount of exercise and have lost a stone (mostly due to lack of appetite too.)

No there is absolutely no other woman - it is all to do with a huge amount of famlly stress and other really awful stuff going on in his life, (outside of our relationship.) that frankly has sent him a bit insane.

Good things today:

1. A lovely friend fed me soup and listened to it all while I sobbed (again)

1. Very helpful psychology book all about how it is not HIM you are missing but the physiological and mental effects of how he makes you FEEL eg seratonin boost when you feel loved etc etc. Apparently it is a similar part of the brain to withdrawal from cocaine when you are craving contact from a loved one etc. You need the "hit" of a loving text message, or a close hug or touch, and it has suddenly stopped.

In a bad bad bad way this morning

Hugs xxx

How did you sleep?

Can't sleep, can't eat, can't stop crying. In total denial - keep thinking and praying he will turn up and see sense. Heart been ripped out. Miss him so so so desperately. There is a huge huge whole in my life where he was and I want him back so so so badly. I am an absolute mess. Feel utterly panicked and griefstricken.

Oh God, I feel for you so much.

Keep reading the breakup guide, don't try and get through each day, work on getting through each hour.

Have you got rid of his things yet? Proper got rid, not hidden.

Thank you stupidhead. That is good advice to look at getting through hour by hour. Will try that this morning.

No way can get rid of all the momentos - but they are well and truly boxed up in loft and I am not looking at them.

Very close to contacting him again, but I do realise I have already tried that.

Just don't text! Hour by hour, feel good that you haven't got in touch with him this hour, then the next..it'll soon be bedtime and you'll be glad you didn't.

He'd reply telling you it's over (again) OR not reply at all and despite what you tell yourself he's ignoring your text. He won't have fallen down a well, had his phone stolen or is in a hospital. He does doesn't want to answer so don't punish yourself by letting him hurt you - again.

X

Please don't text OP. When he doesn't reply the pain is immense.

When the urge gets overwhelming, put the phone away (I put mine in the car) and the feeling does subside.

You will be so glad you didn't. X

Yes I know you're both right. He did not reply to my last four texts. Another hour has gone past now and I did not text. I will not text. I think today is just a day for feeling the pain I'm afraid. Not capable of going out anywhere, just need to be at home.

You will get shit days and good days, it's a proper roller coaster. But the shit days will get less, you just have to get through them when they're here.

Oh inner you poor woman. I remember those feelings so well. It is so so painful. My breakup was also out of the blue in the midst of what I thought was a perfect relationship and it nearly broke me in half. I thought it would never feel better. But it did and it does.

Just breathe in and out and get through hour by hour as a pp said.

Don't text. You will regret it.

Oh inner you poor woman. I remember those feelings so well. It is so so painful. My breakup was also out of the blue in the midst of what I thought was a perfect relationship and it nearly broke me in half. I thought it would never feel better. But it did and it does.

Just breathe in and out and get through hour by hour as a pp said.

Don't text. You will regret it.

Thank you. I am totally broken. Do not know what to do with myself.