DP cheated. Can it ever just be a drunken mistake?

[BricksAtMyWindow]

I found out last night. I'm devastated. We have a 6 month old and I can't believe he would do this. He swears it was a mistake, he was drunk and that he loves me and he'd never do it again.

We can't even talk face to face, he works away for 3 weeks at a time and isn't home for another week.

I don't know what to think. I feel so sick.

So he did have an affair and put you and possibly your baby's health at risk - remember this OP every time you feel a weak moment, he doesn't care!

I bet he's been cheating on you for years whilst working away.

You are well rid, I know it's hard but you will come through this stronger and wiser so this sort of thing wont ever get past you again.

OP - wow - so he says he can't get past this - does that mean:-

a) he wants you to forgive him and forget.
b) he wants her as a back up plan in case you chuck him out?

it was a full blown/ongoing affair wasn't it, really?

You poor thing, all I can say is just take all the support from your/his family and concentrate on your DS. Take things one step at a time. Take it easy.

How is it not a full blown affair if he slept with her more than once
What is a full blown affair if that's not it?
You're doing brilliantly and will survive this. He's a prick.

No I don't think it was an 'affair' or ongoing but he has admitted sleeping with her more than once. Spoke to FIL today, he's gone back to work now (they work together) and he said that whatever 'it' was hasn't been going on long. I should say that he is younger than me and only 20 so I do think it was probably just to get his d*ck wet on the weekend rather than any kind of relationship

I don't know what the right word is? Booty call maybe? It doesn't really matter in any case I don't know why I'm defending him or even care!

So did you FiL know about this? If not, how does he know it wasn't going on for long?

No he didn't know. I trust him enough to tell me the truth. They shared a room up until about 3 weeks ago so he would of known if he had stayed over anywhere or come back early hours.

Bricks, I think you're defending him because there is still part of you that loves him, these feelings don't switch off over night. FWIW I think you sound as if you have enough strength and self-respect to stop any residual feelings cloud your judgement. Please don't allow your hurt to rob you of that.

Yes, acknowledge the love that remains, but don't let it influence your decision-making. Definitely keep dignified.