Has anyone ended up dating/in relationship with their long term doctor/dentist?

[beaglesaresweet]

Not a very serious thread meaning I can get over my attraction to the guy, but I keep wondering 'what if'.

I know that in the UK people see it as nearly a crime for a medic to ask their patient out (or respond to being asked), so has anyone managed to go around that? If it helps the guy I'm attracted to in in private sector. I see him only about once a year for check-ups, an odd treatment so it's not like I'm dependent on him for anything serious. I always liked him and felt the chemistry (known him for many years!) but I've been in relationships before, and also I knew he was married. On couple of recent visits, I felt there was a lot more mutual attention and chemistry, maybe because we are both single? I don't know if he is, just getting more of a vibe than before.

If it's a no-go, I must try to ignore it but I'd love it if he asked me out. He knows my mob number, but I don't know his obviously. He wouldn't though, would he. Anyway, if anyone has positive stories, let me know, just curious.

you are not doing the emoticons correctly

you are bolding instead of bracketing

but when I try bracketing nothing comes out at all after posting.

[ smile ]

without the gaps gives...

a friend suggested today that I try to bump into him on his lunch break as I'm often in the area (he thinks I still live there), and then see whether he quickly makes excuses or has a coffee with me, but after coming back to the thread, it seems completely futile, and will probably be obvious too. Just sod's law he's unavailable as I don't fancy men easily these days.

see that was without gaps - nothing!

there should be no gaps

and no, don't try to engineer any "accidental" meetings

it will look completely obvious

I have googled it now and there is a daily fail article that comes up if anyone is interested. The GP is Judith Ames.

The only complicating factor is that the relationship started very soon after the wife's death (they deny it was before)

Not sure why pinkfrock is so offended by my quoting it. It was really just to show that under almost any circumstances these relationships are frowned on.

And I really am a Dr.
Not that it matters much or that I care if anyone believes that. I just thought it was relevant to the post to see it from the other side.

I'd be seriously concerned about my state of mental health if I became infatuated with any healthcare worker treating me or my dentist. It's really unhealthy and I'd think I was losing the plot, much less thinking if he'd ask me out, engineering accidental meetings, etc.

I'd probably change practitioners just to protect my mental health and see a psychologist.

Hi beagles. Butterfly, thanks - not sure what you meant in that sentence. If you switched doctors and then waited some time, it could still not happen - why? or did you not want to change and wait? Yes, it still couldn't happen if I left purely so we could have a personal relationship.
Sounds like you told him in the end - see I think the only real chance for it to work is for him to initiate as it's him risking things. Unless of course it was psychotherapist, that's too bad as the dependence is very strong and too much power on his side. I told him by accidental means. Very nearly never went to the next appointment . Actually yes it was someone along mental health lines, so yes, that would have been seriously wrong.

I was horribly obsessed with him for ages afterwards, and tbh it wasn't an easy situation for him either. But, looking back, any relationship would have been very toxic and damaging for both of us, which is why these things are not allowed.

I know it's hard but pretty much everyone is saying forget about him for a good reason.

Re: remote areas. The highlands singlehand practices tended to attract persons nearing retirement, who enjoy fly-fishing! There was almost a pecking order of who will get which. The senior partner in Aviemore was in negotiation with the Doctor somewhere on Loch Linnhe about holding the fort until the youngest dc of Aviemore Doc was through university (that might even have been Med School). This was 80's so not bothered to place change. In those days it was essential that you had a partner to man the phone, while out fishing on a call.

Sparkky and carlson, I do wonder if you even read my posts (at least the main ones today, rather than just the original, I'm capable of absorbing advice you know!). I said GMS quotes were a sobering eye-opener, and that it was a friend who suggested bumping into him but that I won't be doing it and that I hope to put it out of my mind. I am not either planning the future or even obsessed as such, I've been reminded of the attraction as I've just seen him again, and it only started last year when I felt similar. I have not been thinking of him all year either, I've dated some men and someone has been interested in me but I don't find him attractive.
It's bizzare to suggest that no one 'normal' could be attracted to a health worker - other people posted about the same situations and anyway, we are not robots, attraction is either there or not. I didn't act on it since I felt something last year - I was really just curious if it happened to anyone else, while realising it's a very long shot.
I just don't understand why some people come to post purely to try and make someone feel like shit about themselves and point out how 'mental' they are. We are all human and these are emotions that some people wouldn't tell you about. As been said, in other countries people wouldn;t find this thread that strange as the rules are much more relaxed. Are they all psychos then? I do accept that rules are rules though, it's bad luck that I like a medic .

Beagles don't read too much into the boring negativity of some posters. All men like to be liked & I doubt your Dr would be any different. So what of the GMC blah blah blah. Bore on. Ask him out straight & get an answer

Stylist - God, how refreshing! you know, a sense of humour and some tolerance helps people to lighten up and see the big picture much more than all the heavy unforgiving criticism (smile). I've been scared off by the rules so I don't think I will ask him out but it's nice to hear a different perspective.

So what of the GMC? A doctor can't practice if struck off by the GMC. It's a huge fucking deal.

And you want people to lighten up and see the bigger picture? Let me tell you my story and then you can tell me how lighthearted and big picture it is.

My dad was a GP. He started an affair with someone who wasn't a patient and never had been, but was the widow of a former patient (my dad had treated her husband until his death from cancer a few months previously). My dad was reported to the GMC and struck off. The woman left him then - I think reality was a lot less attractive than she imagined. My dad had a nervous breakdown, let himself into his former surgery and committed suicide by shooting himself full to the brim with morphine. I had just turned 16.

Ha fucking ha.

Cinnabar I am so sorry

There has been a lot of publicity recently in the medical press about the number of Drs who kill themselves during GMC investigations.

It is an incredibly stressful process and I live in hope that I never have to go through it. (Well clearly I also try to practice within the guidance as well as just hope but some reports are malicious and since we are all human one day I may make a mistake)

I do have a read through the reports on their website (mpts judgments) sometimes and my response varies between often thinking- bang to rights, good riddance to bad rubbish (bloke who took sick leave from work and then was seen on TV commentating on a horse show!) and more there but for the grace of God (woman who drove home over the limit from a family funeral and crashed into a hedge, no one else involved. Yes this was wrong but should she lose her livelihood)

I think people often confuse professional caring from those in the caring professions with interest in them personally. Just as friendliness can be misconstrued.

Earlier this year I visited a mobile blood donation clinic to give blood. The male nurse that dealt with putting the needle in my arm was friendly and I chatted back in a friendly manner. There were other people in the mobile.
When I left he handed me something which turned out to be an elastoplast with a phone number scribbled on it, I presume it was his.
I threw it away but it did make me feel a little uncomfortable for a little while - he has access to my personal information after all.
Don't put your doctor in this position.

TBH WildBillfemale, I think I might have considered reporting what happened with the nurse. I'd hate to think of him using his position as an opportunity to pick up women, and that would be the he best interpretation of what he did. It could be more sinister.

The bigger picture is that there are a lot of fantasists and stalker-types out there. Ask for just ask him out and GMC be damned, ew!, low rent.

I guess shows like ER, Grey's Anatomy and Holby City don't help.

I would hate to be a Doctor's wife or girlfriend, when there are so many delusional female patients out there!

I think it works for both genders, actually

True, anyfucker - both genders are at risk from delusional patients.

Cinnabar I am sorry about your dad.

I am commenting on OP's. opening sentence:

'Not a very serious thread meaning I can get over my attraction to the guy, but I keep wondering 'what if'.