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Original poster

Has anyone ended up dating/in relationship with their long term doctor/dentist?

176 replies

beaglesaresweet · 08/11/2014 21:16

Not a very serious thread meaning I can get over my attraction to the guy, but I keep wondering 'what if'.

I know that in the UK people see it as nearly a crime for a medic to ask their patient out (or respond to being asked), so has anyone managed to go around that? If it helps the guy I'm attracted to in in private sector. I see him only about once a year for check-ups, an odd treatment so it's not like I'm dependent on him for anything serious. I always liked him and felt the chemistry (known him for many years!) but I've been in relationships before, and also I knew he was married. On couple of recent visits, I felt there was a lot more mutual attention and chemistry, maybe because we are both single? I don't know if he is, just getting more of a vibe than before.

If it's a no-go, I must try to ignore it but I'd love it if he asked me out. He knows my mob number, but I don't know his obviously. He wouldn't though, would he. Anyway, if anyone has positive stories, let me know, just curious.

OP posts:
sonjadog · 09/11/2014 16:59

I have sympathy for you, OP, because I also have a massive crush on my doctor and have pondered the same from time to time. But there is no way round it. It's a no go.

Be content with day-dreaming and admire him from afar.

ginnycreeper5 · 09/11/2014 17:08

I'm surprised by how little understanding there is here of the importance of the regulations of a profession to those who practice in it. It's NOT an optional choice! It's what you HAVE to do in order to maintain your licence/right/certification to practice in that profession.

OP, you could potentially wreck this person's career!

Any, I fear this is all something that's going inside your head.

Just because somebody smiles at you and makes pleasant conversation (part of his job), doesn't mean he wants to start a relationship with you.

AnyFucker · 09/11/2014 17:12

errr, what ?

The OP isn't "Any"

ginnycreeper5 · 09/11/2014 17:13

Should have said Anyway.

Kundry · 09/11/2014 17:13

Please bear in mind that as a rule doctors aren't as interested in you as you are in them.

A lot of what you may be interpreting as him being interested in you, is just establishing a good rapport.

My patients are endlessly surprised that I can't recommend a thing about them as I've been a big part of their lives but to me, they are just one of many.

Moid1 · 09/11/2014 17:13

My friend did, she was going through divorce at the same time as her dentist was doing her implants. She was still a patient when he asked her out. They are now married, I always thought it was a bit 'off'.

AnyFucker · 09/11/2014 17:13

phew Smile

Auntimatter · 09/11/2014 17:15

On a tangent, how does a single doctor in a remote rural area find a partner if everyone is a patient?

AnyFucker · 09/11/2014 17:28

Well, bearing in mind it is unlikely a doctor would be working at a one man practice in a rural location much before the age of 28 he/she would have had plenty of exposure to non-patients before then

SelfLoathing · 09/11/2014 17:43

On a tangent, how does a single doctor in a remote rural area find a partner if everyone is a patient?

FFS. What is the matter with you people?

AnyFucker · 09/11/2014 17:51

it's a bit of a mystery to me Confused

carlsonrichards · 09/11/2014 17:57

FGS. You do need a doctor, just not in a dating capacity.

Twinklestein · 09/11/2014 17:58

Is this not all rather desperate?

I was ill for some time when I was younger and saw countless doctors who were charming to me, but I never mistook that for actual interest.

sonjadog · 09/11/2014 18:01

Somehow I find a dentist-patient relationship more reasonable. I get that it isn't allowed, but dentists seem to have a lot less personal contact that doctors, to me.

SelfLoathing · 09/11/2014 18:08

Somehow I find a dentist-patient relationship more reasonable. I get that it isn't allowed, but dentists seem to have a lot less personal contact that doctors, to me

I suspect that this is based on irrational prejudices not founded in logic.

Such as -

  • "people don't like going to the dentist"
  • "most people only go to the dentist occasionally" or
  • a general impression that more time is spent with your mouth open and not talking to or interacting/having history taken by the dentist.

But it's not about the frequency or nature of contact, it's about the very reason the contact occurs in the first place is only in the context of the professional services being provided - a relationship that needs to be one of trust and confidence.

Pico2 · 09/11/2014 18:10

I wouldn't interpret the absence if a ring to indicate he is single. I know a doctor who lost 5 wedding rings to hand washing before finally giving up on wearing one. While there might be some specialities without the frequent hand washing, I'd guess most still require it. Not to mention happily partnered people who aren't married.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 09/11/2014 18:15

Somehow I find a dentist-patient relationship more reasonable. I get that it isn't allowed, but dentists seem to have a lot less personal contact that doctors, to me.

As a dentist I would disagree. We have the same standards to uphold as GPs do. Plus looking around at my colleagues eugh

sonjadog · 09/11/2014 18:20

Yeah, I know it isn't allowed. I have no plans to seduce my dentist.

It is probably founded on my idea that people don't share so much personal information with their dentist than they do with the doctor, so it seems like a less personal relationship. This is just my own opinion though, sitting on the sofa on a Sunday evening. Feel free to ignore.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 09/11/2014 18:25

People should give their dentist exactly the same medical history as their GP has. Some may choose not to divulge things but their care could be affected as a result

sonjadog · 09/11/2014 18:26

I haven't told my dentist anything non-teeth related. Why do you think it is important to share all medical history?

Tinks42 · 09/11/2014 18:27

Yeah but bottom line here is he was just very friendly and kind, he didnt give her his number neither did he suggest a date. I flirt sometimes with my bin man, I flirt with the odd doctor or two if I end up in a@e yet again with my son. It's what makes the world go round. I do however never try to take this further. It is what it is and made for, a pleasant few minutes.

If I felt like going on line and asking indepth questions about how ethical it was or not, I hope I'd slap myself round the face and get a grip. See that I needed to socialise more and not obsess about endless possibilities.

Tinks42 · 09/11/2014 18:32

I personally think that this thread has fed the OP's hypothetical possibilities and I hope to god it doesnt happen, in that she now thinks that she has to "help him" in his quest for her, knowing how difficult it would be for him to cross the line.

normansgreasybarnet · 09/11/2014 18:41

All sounds a bit Bunny Boiler to me.

carlsonrichards · 09/11/2014 18:44

I want to date our cat's vet. With what he charges, the man must be loaded.

Auntimatter · 09/11/2014 18:46

It was a genuine question about rural doctors.
I can't imagine that in reality any doctor who is single at 28 (say) is thereafter debarred from ever finding a partner if they live rurally. Just not practical.