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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

It's my wedding night. I'm all alone.

479 replies

IsThisReallyHappening · 04/11/2014 21:03

Today I got married.

This afternoon we arrived at our hotel to stay the night.

On arrival I checked my facebook to see some congratulation messages.

One message was not quite what I was expecting.

My 'husband' cheated on me 8 weeks ago.

I'm now sat here alone. On my wedding night. My 'husband' is gone.

I'm pregnant too.

I already have a child with him.

What the actual fuck has just happened to my life?

I feel trapped.

OP posts:
izzybizzybuzzybees · 05/11/2014 16:07

Oh FFS thatguy go away. She so doesn't need you!

Thereshallbeaspirin · 05/11/2014 16:07

Jeez, I had a pretty low opinion of the arsehole before he turned up, didn't think it could go much lower. I was clearly wrong.

vindscreenviper · 05/11/2014 16:09

Thanks PetiteRaleuse.

Thanks Be good to yourself OP.

NickiFury · 05/11/2014 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
IsThisReallyHappening · 05/11/2014 16:10

I've finally been reinstated by mumsnet Hmm.

Otherwise I'd have replied here sooner.

So thanks whoever called troll - even though its clear from the thread just how many people know who I am.

Another kick in the face while in down.

My 'husband' is the man posting. Sadly. He has always read my MN posts and threads. I knew he would find this, I told him he should read it to see just what I and others thought of him.

Because I don't believe he truly realises the full consequences of his actions.

Right now he is in my house as my oldest son is due home from school. And until I'm ready to make a decision on this baby, and tell the world, he will remain here and pretend nothing has happened.

My DS is 12. I can not have him knowing right now - anything.

This is the best I can do for my children right now.

But rest easy that my decision on him is made. It was made instantly.

My only decision is whether to continue with the pregnancy.

OP posts:
LisaMed · 05/11/2014 16:10

I am the only one who finds Iamthatguy a bit pathetic? It's like he can't directly damage the OP face to face so he is scrabbling around to try and get to her here.

So sorry for OP but at least she can hopefully escape her abuser.

QuietTiger · 05/11/2014 16:11

I've lurked on this thread, wishing the OP well and hoping she is able to sort things for herself. But I have to say, the sheer arrogance of her disgusting "D"H stalking her on to her trying to justify his actions...

Iamthatguy - you're a complete arse wipe and actually, the OP deserves far better than you. You bleating on about you are terrible, blah, blah, blah is just words, because you certainly didn't think about the "love of your life" when you were busy sticking your cock in some other woman. Stop your crocodile tears and false sorrow, you are only upset because you got caught.

Now what you need to do, Iam is fuck off to the far side of fuck, and then fuck off some more, and leave the OP alone to lick her wounds and rebuild her life without you in it. Cunt.

LisaMed · 05/11/2014 16:13

x-post - sending massive good vibes to you OP. Whatever you decide, keep trying and keep coming back here (name changed) and keep your own voice.

Please remember - your ex tried to take your place of comfort away from you by tracking you here. Don't let him take support away from you. Good luck.

MNHQ
KateSMumsnet · 05/11/2014 16:13

IamThatGuy - we feel that it's clear that the OP has come onto Mumsnet to get advice and support, and it's probably best not to muddy the water any further, and as other posters have said, it's probably best that such discussions at kept for real life. We'll be mailing you shortly.

Kyz · 05/11/2014 16:16

Well said QuietTiger

Original poster
IsThisReallyHappening · 05/11/2014 16:20

Kate, you have blocked my IP address - meaning I can not access MN on my usual laptop (he was using this). Please can you unblock my IP.

OP posts:
ots · 05/11/2014 16:22

Can't believe someone called troll OP. Way to kick you when you're down Sad

Theorientcalf · 05/11/2014 16:23

I agree, what QuietTiger said.

MNHQ
ChristmasKateMumsnet · 05/11/2014 16:24

@IsThisReallyHappening

Kate, you have blocked my IP address - meaning I can not access MN on my usual laptop (he was using this). Please can you unblock my IP.

We haven't done anything with regards to your IP address. Sorry we can't help you on this - perhaps you could contact your internet provider?

Original poster
IsThisReallyHappening · 05/11/2014 16:26

Well when you blocked me, I couldn't access MN on my mobile in any way - when you unblocked me I could access it on my mobile. When I was blocked I was able to read MN on my laptop.

Now you have blocked him, I can't access MN on my laptop, but can read on my mobile.

Can you explain that?

Why can't I access MN from my laptop from the moment you blocked him? As I said, he was using MY laptop.

I'm on an incognito browser in order to get around it Hmm.

OP posts:
Original poster
IsThisReallyHappening · 05/11/2014 16:28

Hmmm, that probably doesn't make much sense.

Okay, last night I was last logged in and posting using my mobile. When I tried to access MN this afternoon, I found I was blocked from my mobile. However if I used my laptop, I could read threads and log in under my usual name. But not the name I am using here.

Now I can't access MN from my laptop unless in incognito browser. But I can access it fine on my mobile. This is since you blocked him.

OP posts:
MNHQ
ChristmasKateMumsnet · 05/11/2014 16:34

@IsThisReallyHappening

Well when you blocked me, I couldn't access MN on my mobile in any way - when you unblocked me I could access it on my mobile. When I was blocked I was able to read MN on my laptop.

Now you have blocked him, I can't access MN on my laptop, but can read on my mobile.

Can you explain that?

Why can't I access MN from my laptop from the moment you blocked him? As I said, he was using MY laptop.

I'm on an incognito browser in order to get around it Hmm.

Afraid we can't actually. When we suspend an account, it's the individual account that is affected, not the IP. Can we suggest that you try clearing your cookies and cache? Sorry you're having trouble with this, it must be v annoying - but we can assure you we haven't done anything our end that would affect your IP.

Original poster
IsThisReallyHappening · 05/11/2014 16:41

I've cleared the cookies and cache. I did it for the last week - this didn't work. So I had to do it from the beginning of time.

This worked.

OP posts:
MNHQ
ChristmasKateMumsnet · 05/11/2014 16:43

@IsThisReallyHappening

Hmmm, that probably doesn't make much sense.

Okay, last night I was last logged in and posting using my mobile. When I tried to access MN this afternoon, I found I was blocked from my mobile. However if I used my laptop, I could read threads and log in under my usual name. But not the name I am using here.

Now I can't access MN from my laptop unless in incognito browser. But I can access it fine on my mobile. This is since you blocked him.

We're sorry IsThisReallyHappening - we're not sure why this is has happened. As we said before, when we suspend someone it affects their account, not the device or IP. We know it's a bit of a tech cliche, but could you try logging out and back in again, if clearing cookies doesn't help?

MNHQ
ChristmasKateMumsnet · 05/11/2014 16:43

@IsThisReallyHappening

I've cleared the cookies and cache. I did it for the last week - this didn't work. So I had to do it from the beginning of time.

This worked.

Ah sorry cross post - so you're able to post from your laptop now?

Vitalstatistix · 05/11/2014 16:54

Can I just say to the bloke - You didn't make a 'mistake', you made a CHOICE.

You chose to fuck around.

That wasn't a mistake.

You didn't trip and fall in.

A mistake is typing twit when you mean twat, for example. Or picking up the salt instead of the sugar.

You didn't make a mistake. What you did, you did knowing and understanding that you were doing it.

To call it a mistake is just, well, further crapping all over her really.

Own what you did to her.

Stop bleating about how you made a mistake. You didn't. You made a choice. And that choice was to betray her. You knew that you were doing it.

Smilesandpiles · 05/11/2014 16:56

You ok OP?

I was going to ask what the pan of action is now but it's probably best if nothing more is said on this thread. If he's reading it, others will be too.

You've got loads of support here, even if it means you can only PM people now you stil have an entire thread to choose from.

Good luck x

Titsalinabumsquash · 05/11/2014 16:58

What a shambles! Shame on you whoever called troll, the OP is part of a group of us from a very long thread and has offered so much support, advice and humour and kindness to so many of us.

I hope you continue to get support from the folk on Mumsnet and you'll always have your friends on the fred and fb.

As for your STBXH, what a low life coward to come here and post while you're reaching out for support. Angry

If you need to talk through the baby stuff, please do, lots of us have been there at one time or another.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 05/11/2014 17:10

What an arse wipe indeed. You shouldn't have bothered name changing OP, clearly he doesn't respect you in any way, shape or form.

for putting the woman I was prepared to marry

Shetland · 05/11/2014 17:11

Just posting to offer my support (you may know me as k i r r i n)

Hope you're ok xx