Should I indulge this fantasy?

[StandingOnTheEdge]

NC'ed as I am usually fairly open on MN and probably easily recognisable. I've been here since the pombear dinner party thread.

I have become increasingly friendly with a bloke at work mostly over instant messenger. Initially I just thought of him as a friend but our messages have been getting more and more flirty. He has recently admitted that he is a dom and the things he writes about submissives have been a huge turn on. He has insisted that it is not about bullying or control but about giving a submissive pleasure and fulfilling her fantasy.

This is a huge fantasy of mine. And I am very tempted to take him up on it, but I'm very nervous. I think I can trust him. I just don't know if I will change my mind when it comes to it. I'm seeing him at work for the first time tomorrow since this all came out.

If anyone can offer advice, I'd appreciate it.

Don't go there. It will end in tears and ruin a professional relationship.

If this all goes wrong, how will it affect you at work ? < the sex stuff to one side for the moment >

I don't know to be honest - if it all goes massively wrong, how will you be off career-wise? If it won't affect your job, go for it,why not?

Are either of you married?

Do you trust him with your life?

ONe of these questions requires a yes the other a no.

Dabbled with this myself - again, do you trust him with your life?

Ok so in my writing time, I've basically just agreed with AnyFAwker and round!

It would be so awkward having this sort of relationship at work, especially when if it all finished.

do it

Crap, looks like an almost unanimous decision from the jury.

He's not my superior at work. We're on the same grade in neighbouring departments. So it wouldn't affect my career unless it all came out. I would die of shame if it did.

I guess it all comes down to trust.

OnlyWantsOne

There you go, I would never be able to put so much trust in someone who could make my professional life an embarrassment.

I think it sounds fun. I would proceed with caution. Get to know him a bit better before you get in too deep.

But surely any workplace relationship could end in embarrassment if one party abused the trust.

D/s covers a very broad range of activities. You need to find out exactly what he's into first.

Thanks MajesticWhine. That's good advice.

I will do that NoArmani. I've been reading up on it and there's a lot I wouldn't do.

What is he suggesting?

What makes you think you can trust him ?

There is extra trust required in this sort of hook up isn't there ? You say you are a bit "tempted2 by it, but have you actually looked properly into what is entailed and what his < erm > MO is ?

Actually, I'm going to try to write something a bit more coherent.

How do you know he's a Dom? Coz he told you or because you've been around the scene, and seen him in action? I could tell you, over instant messenger, that I'm 5ft11 and a size 8. Wouldn't make it true.

Also, have you been around the scene, been to munches, met a few folks, seen what's out there? How do you know you can trust him?

A decent dom will discuss your limits. Subs tend to divide them into hard and soft limits. A hard limit is something you will not do and not negotiable. A soft limit is something you think you might build up to. So for example a hard limit might be needles and a soft might be use of a cane. Discuss everything first, agree a safe word and have fun :)

I am seeing a bit of naivity here, OP. Sorry. I hope you don't end up getting hurt/used/frightened.

Then it will be slightly more than the usual X shagged Y gossip in the workplace, won;t it ?

By the way. If you're discussing D/s fantasies over work instant messenger you would need to be careful. Just saying.

I would say don't bother going to munches unless you want to meet a load of inadaquetes with questionable hygiene.

Well, I go to munches and I'm not inadequate, and my hygiene is impeccable. As are my friends you go.

A cane?

Soft?

Think im on the forum lol.

Strikethrough Will you tell us what happened when you come back

Just kidding!

Not only would anything painful put me up, tripping over him at the coffee machine would definitely be a no no!

I was talking about the blokes. Your local munch must be better than mine :)