I am going to leave this thread.
I can't tell you all how many times I have seen this exact scenario play out on fetish sites.
Newbie sub comes on, posts something about being "new to the scene" and wanting to learn/explore.
I tried and tried to tell them and ... I'm going to repost part of a post I put on another thread
*I have posted on fetish sites extensively about the one twue way of dominance, about predatory doms who hunt out newbies and abuse them. I call them on it every time I see it happening. I don't go to certain groups - one because I was banned because I called the "group leader" out on his actions, towards a sub.
I wrote about consent. Over and over. Got it made a sticky in groups. Banged on and on and on about it til folks were fed up. Because, you know what, they don't want to listen. They come on fetlife and other sites posting about being a no limits sub and wanting abused. And when I would tell them to be careful what they wished for. That there were sick sad individuals who would not respect their boundaries and who would chew them up and spit them out.
I have, on occasion, walked a sub to her car to stop a predatory Dom walking her to her car. I have called an academic supervisor to tell them that a young student was putting herself in danger.
And there's only so much I can do.*
And that's it. I'm tired, I can't carry this on into here. I left the fetish sites because it was such an emotional drain on me. I can't protect those who want to try it and leave their common sense at the door of the bedroom.
Think about it. If a man of vague acquaintance suddenly started to tell you he was all into exactly what you were into, and he sounded too good to be true, would your instincts jangle? Have a titter of wit - they tell you what they want to hear to get into your knickers. Crude, but true. Only in BDSSM the risks are far far higher.