Is my dh being unreasonable to ask me to stop drinking wine?

[40thisisit]

I won't pretend that I don't love white wine and yes on occasion may drink too much. But it's my only vice in life. I work hard during the week (am a chemistry teacher), run twice a week, eat healthily and also have 3 dd's to look after. I see my wine time at weekends and school holidays as a little time for me to relax. He thinks I'm shortening my life and has said he's going to give up wine and wants me to join him. AIBU to tell him to go whistle???

*where's the lady who said she drank 2 very expensive bottles of red , over 3 nights?
is she in bed hungover?
oh no! that's right, isn't it? she's at her Pilate's class. right now.

Got a problem with that have we?? Actually I ran 5k's in record time. Sorry to disappoint.

A bottle in one night seems like a lot, even if you only drink at weekends.
Do you have a bottle very night in the holidays?
If so, I can see why your DH is concerned,

OP are you Scottish? If so, just a wee heads up that there drink/drive blood alcohol limit is coming down shortly...

Healthy,diet and exercise doesn't cancel,out the effect of alcohol on the body and mind!

How did she get to her Pilates class, if she drive she'd be over the limit

Sounds like his business is that he wans her to cut out the one thing she drinks entirely, whilst he carries on, as he needs backup in case he dies .

And who are all those people whom assume the OP drives at all.

A lot of people don't.

I don't drink at all, because I cannot abide the taste. But it doesn't sound like the OP's level is excessive or denial.

FFS - I walk to Pilates. What's the problem with Pilates? I don't even drive!!!

Long ago, back in the day, when I was at Uni, I walked to yoga class still stoned out of my mind.

Same

But really guys, you need to calm down. This place is beginning to feel like a Nanny state. Or is it because I said I drink beautiful wine [I never said it was very expensive] and do pilates? do you have a problem with that combination of lifestyle choices? Sorry I just don't get this reaction at all. If I said I drank then drove my kids to school the very next day while still hammered I could understand it then...but you know I mentioned exercising?

The judgements on this thread! It's two bottles of wine a week. If you put it in the context of my friends dad who died from alcoholism he drank a bottle of whiskey every day. Hardly the same level.

OP drinks to let go after a hard week at work and with 3 DC's. I drank a bottle of wine last night & took some prescription drugs to help me sleep. Judge all you like. I thought OP was asking how to respond to her H? Not unpick her alcohol consumption.

Oh FFS! This isn't about your H, it's about you and your liver. Pilates doesn't ease the strain that your liver is under trying to process a lot of alcohol in a relatively short space of time.

If you want to hide behind indignation to justify your choices then that's your perogative but it doesn't stop the reality.

A bottle of wine and prescription drugs, wow!

Cool. Prescription drugs!

*OP - "Surely eating healthily, not smoking, and exercising regularly must counteract some of the badness of wine!!!!"

Sadly not. See my post Fri 30th @13:02.

You just need to be informed - then make your own choices for your own body - but it appears that you are not informed.

Also surprised that a bunch of random anonymous people could make you "feel really bad" if you are so confident in your position and if you are why did you post?

Did you assume everyone would be on your side - so you could justify your position with your H - and then are unnerved that others have a different opinion.

You would nt say 2 hrs down the gym every day and a diet of fish and salad would save you from lung cancer and other lung conditions if you smoked -- it is irrelevant - so it is not possible so conclude that that your healthy eating and your runs will save you from alcohol related cancers (breast, bowel, etc) and many other life limiting diseases as I said in my post yesterday (13;02) - not judging - just be informed to make your choice.

The thing with alcohol is - you can just have a drink to unwind, or only have x amount a week, or .................. any other millions of justifications.

But the fact is that it is addictive. If it wasn't addictive then peeps starting threads like this wouldn't ponder and ask advice from others about the quantity. They would just not drink it .

So you are addicted OP. (like lots of us - but that doesn't make that fact better imo)

I live my life in the fast lane I can tell you.

But the point I was trying to make was posters seem to be judging OP quite harshly because of her pretty standard consumption. I took sleeping bills & drank a bottle of wine because I'm an insomniac & my marriage is breaking down. Why the hell is the OP wrong to use (in my opinion a moderate amount) of alcohol to lessen the stress? If your body & mind is constantly bin a highly stressed mode, with no relief surely that's just as harmful?

Nana and being hungover is bad for my spelling & sentence structure too you may have a point...

Rock the boat, you took my post totally the wrong way! I was laughing at the posters who had scorned you!!

I was joking. that you were at Pilates , so you can't have been that hungover/badly affected by the supposed 'binge drinking' that some had accused you of.

If your body & mind is constantly bin a highly stressed mode, with no relief surely that's just as harmful?

But if you use alcohol to reduce that stress, it's a dangerous slippery slope.

There is no defined cut off point, but we should always be aware that we could easily slip into alcohol dependency.
Where alcohol consumption could actually help push into depression and could increase the stress.

If you are experiencing stress at work and at home, you'd do better to address the root causes of that stress and find coping mechanisms that don't involve alcohol.

The OP may not be at this time with sufficient alcohol intake that could kill her in a few years, but it's not particularly good either, and it could become a feature.
It can only be good for you (and everyone else that is drinking the same amounts every night) to reduce it.
If you like the taste, you can get just as much pleasure from lower amounts.

I had a glass last night but didn't feel the need to drink more, or to use it to "relax".

Just wondering where the OP supporters draw their line? - if the OP said she drank 2 bottles a night or 3 bottles a night would you be giving the same support - or would you be concerned?

It is not relevant what random anonymous women on the internet consider excessive or not - or standard or not.......

The only thing that is relevant is that FACTUALLY above 3 units in 24 hrs is defined as binge/heavy drinking and unsafe/risky to her health unanimously by healthcare professionals world wide......she can do what she wants with that FACT.

When random anonymous women on the internet say it is COMMON or NORMAL or OK they cannot mean it is SAFE.

The 'fact' is what the government is telling you.

Instead of using one's common sense.

I don't 'give support', it's just a board with opinions. I don't live in black and white, either. Meh.

Oh for goodness sake, Somethingtodo, drinking above 3 units in 24 hours is NOT binge drinking! If a man had two pints of beer that would be 4 units and nobody would say he was binge drinking!

IIRC (it's been a long time!), a pint is 3 units. So probably all punters of an evening are heavy drinking bingers.

Some people need a reality check. Just because somebody drinks loads more than you it's OK for you to drink to excess. It isn't. People who think a bottle of wine over an evening on a regular basis is OK should read the guidelines. It's binge drinking and may lead to liver damage. Whether people then decide to go ahead and drink excessively that's up to them. But they should make sure they are fully informed of the dangers of excess alcohol.