Is my dh being unreasonable to ask me to stop drinking wine?

[40thisisit]

I won't pretend that I don't love white wine and yes on occasion may drink too much. But it's my only vice in life. I work hard during the week (am a chemistry teacher), run twice a week, eat healthily and also have 3 dd's to look after. I see my wine time at weekends and school holidays as a little time for me to relax. He thinks I'm shortening my life and has said he's going to give up wine and wants me to join him. AIBU to tell him to go whistle???

oblomov - Are you aware that in your case it is not an "either / or" situation with respect to diabetes and alcohol consumption....as your risk of both the short and long term complications of diabetes (hypos, amputation, CVD etc) increases as your alcohol consumption increases above the recommended guidelines.....this is obviously in addition to the impact of excessive alcohol on the rest of your body/physiology unrelated to your underlying diabetes (alcohol related cancers, liver disease etc)

Drink as much as you like - but be informed and join the dots so that you take calculated risks.

For a start there has been no real scientific studies conducted to come up with the safe levels of units. It literally was just an inter departmental working group in 1995 looking at scientific studies and then deciding on 'guidelines'.

So, they based their decision on scientific evidence in scientific studies. Were they made up studies?

I thought it was well known that guidelines were more or less plucked out of the air, with no trials and no evidence and no facts.

Really? I posted a link to a House of Commons report way upthread which had a table of drink guidelines in many developed countries. Ours are in line with all the rest - about in the middle, and it isn't a huge range from highest to lowest, as I recall. There was plenty of stuff in the report about the Royal Colleges' support for the current position, which is surely evidence-based.

I did read some study on how excessive drinking can effect your brain (hypothalamus?) so it can't regulate insulin as effectively or something so your chances of getting type 2 diabetes are much higher. No idea how reputable it is but I do know someone with type 2 diabetes who's extremely slim, is a fitness fanatic, has no other risk factors like family history other than drinking to excess every weekend. She's a bit of an extreme case though as she drinks enough to get drunk at every single social occasion, which is virtually every weekend, and she drinks during the week as well (she's retired).

AllMimsy can't tackle 130 pages just now - off to a drinks party , I might take a look tomorrow. But from the little bit I did read there were an awful lot of 'suggests' and words to that effect rather than any 'proof'.

Lweji.

Not made up necessarily, but they could vary widely in their hypothesis, subjects, controls, variables. It was various countries. If I had 3 countries that recommended over 25 units and 2 saying 10 and 1 saying 4 units a week, as a group we might all agree that 10/15 is reasonable. Is, no scientific basis.

There is no scientific basis for 8 glasses of water a day, or 5 portions of fruit and veg. Just because the government, NHS, royal college of midwives et all go along with these guidelines dies not make them scientifically based.

Scientific evidence is almost cast iron at the moment that saturated fat is not bad for you. I can post links to at least 20+ studies, doctors, scientists etc that will tell you categorically it DOES NOt cause heart disease.

I can also show you government guidelines, even British heart foundation guidelines that will say it does.

It helps to look at science. Not government rhetoric bullshit.

Not made up necessarily, but they could vary widely in their hypothesis, subjects, controls, variables.

I have no idea of how they got at the decision, but it is possible to draw conclusions from different studies using different hypotheses, etc.
They are called meta-analyses, as it is often not possible to lead a sufficiently big study, but many smaller studies can provide enough evidence when taken together.

But from the little bit I did read there were an awful lot of 'suggests' and words to that effect rather than any 'proof'.

That's scientific language for you.
There's no such thing as "proof". Evidence is taken in the spirit of "beyond reasonable doubt", and you will rarely get anything more committal than suggest, maybe a strongly suggests, in a scientific study.
Never the word "proof". :)

Then they should be taken with an enormous pinch of salt Lweji.

Well then posters shouldn't be castigating the OP for her alcohol consumption when there are only 'suggestions' by the professionals, Lweji.

1995

It's all over the place.

www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201012/cmselect/cmsctech/1536/153606.htm

Meta analyses only work if all the studies being looked at are scientifically sound. Otherwise, it's very bad statistics.

Meta analyses only work if all the studies being looked at are scientifically sound.

But firstly, they look at how sound the original data are and select only those that are sound.

Then they should be taken with an enormous pinch of salt Lweji.

That is the exact opposite of what I said.
What I meant was that even when the evidence is strong, you won't get the word "proof" in ANY scientific report.
That's how the scientific method works. You can only disprove, you can't prove a theory.

What do you mean by all over the place, sass?

This thread is mad.

Are you all pissed?

OP, your dh is being unreasonable. You are an adult, make your own choices. He's got no right to tell you what you should do. Enjoy your wine.

Not meaning to be rude Lweji, and if I had the time I would copy and paste and highlight contradictory evidence, but it's dinner/bath/bed etc and drink o'clock so all I can say is that if you read it, they do contradict themselves, disagree, and pin nothing down.

Also of the evidence submitted, 9 pieces came from the alcohol industry themselves.

I'm not saying they are wrong, just that they are no where near fact.

Also of the evidence submitted, 9 pieces came from the alcohol industry themselves.

Well, are you saying that the alcohol industry is pushing for less drinking?

And, yes, I would like to know from you where you read the contradictory evidence. As evidently you read it properly, and know where it is, it would be nice of you to point it out to support your view.

Wonder if the OP had any wine this weekend?

Would be interested to here.

*hear even

(and no I've not been on the wine )

Lweji. I understand it is customary/good form to post where your views come from. I wasn't aware it was now customary to read it to you.

It's Saturday night, my curry is on, Netflix is in place for a film and my drink is flowing. If you really want me to read it to you, I will do so tomorrow.

somethingtodo thank you for your concern but I don't think it's required.
I wish I had the opportunity to go our more, go for more meals etc and consume more alcohol.
but I often just don't get the chance!!
in fact I've just returned from a Halloween party and only drank water!

If you have a specific point, then yes, it is customary to point out where from a long text where you draw your conclusions from.
I even quote the relevant parts sometimes.

You still haven't pointed out why evidence from the wine industry can't be used to support control on drinking. I would have expected the opposite.

lol mammanat just got back from huge shopping trip, my youngest is away for the weekend so taking advantage of moan free shopping, I do have some white in the fridge though......