Toad's Solicitor phoned me at home unannounced after hours this evening

[Karenthetoadslayer]

I thought this would call for a new thread.

As I was preparing the children's dinner, the phone rang and guess who it was? Toad's solicitor, to have a chat about contact.

I am a friendly and polite person, also was in shock, so I complied and explained to him the children's views on their father.

DS thought I was 'cool'. .

You never know what will happen at the moment.

Breathe. In through your nose counting to 3, out through your mouth counting to 5. It calms, and also gives you time to consider. Do it while the Toad is speaking, and a couple of times before you respond.

Good luck,mKaren

Thank you everyone. Initially, it's just me . There is no point clocking up SHS hours with Toad's shenanigans until we are more or less in agreement. Why am I doing this? To save 25K, potentially.

It will be fine.

De-lurking to wish you the very best of luck. [Toad-Slaying-Sword Emoticon}

Sending you strength.

Ood luck. Can you record the meeting? Seeing as you are going alone without representative who would have been taking notes

Karen, please make sure there is someone there with you to witness and minute the meeting ... Doesn't need to be an ££££ lawyer, but please have someone who can be seen as reliable and impartial as a witness.

Can your lawyers possibly send one of their admin team to take minutes / act as a witness at reduced (compared to SHS) fees?

Doing fine - thank you all. Still going on. He is quite peaceful.

Peaceful? That isn't a word that had ever come to mind before when you've described him However that sounds fairly positive!

Passing you under the table.

Hope it went well, I imagine he will pull some shit very soon if this went well.

HopingI'mWrongTiggaxx

Hope it went well, Karen

BTW the german for Toad (as i'm sure you know) is Krote - it has an umlaut which I cant do but it looks good apt appropriate in english for him!

Is that pronounced krote with an initial 's' ptumbi?

Hope you're OK, Karen, and that he was reasonable as well as peaceful. (Did you ask for your cutlery? )

Kröte Jux yes, he was almost conciliatory and almost apologetic, but not really.

I avoided contentious matters, but remained adamant regarding the children. He was almost apologetic there, too.

But that's why women go to the Freedom Programme. Because these men try and win us back with false promises and false remorse.

But it seems we have made progress regarding settlement. Until I get the next email, I presume. If it's not already there.

Bloody hell - I did not expect to read that. Has someone whacked him over the head with a hammer?

Good to read that some progress has been made.

But as you say, once he hits the booze on a Friday night, it may all change.

Was he on his own too? Was there a third party there mediating? Just wondering, because it suits his game to be apologetic, peaceful and conciliatory in front of other people.

Glad it went reasonably well though, Karen, and I like the (S)Krote name for him.

Oh so the little email warrior loses his balls when he has to face you does he? What a surprise!

As you say, lets see what your inbox holds.....

You know, I wonder if its because he has faced you that he was like this. He hasnt seen you in, what? A year? You are not the person you were a year ago and I wonder if he didnt fully appreciate that until today. You will not be bullied or cowed or manipulated, I am sure you have changed physically too.

Well done, go girl. Another hurdle over with for now.

Yes, Bogey I put on half a stone through stress eating.

WhereasWWK lost 2.5 Stone

He was on his eon entirely.

But, yes, let's see what will be in my inbox.

And most of my sanity !

Never mind about your sanity, WWK.

But that's why women go to the Freedom Programme. Because these men try and win us back with false promises and false remorse.

Very much this.

I'm not entirely surprised. These men are quite capable of playing reasonable. I saw it in exH, but he could change from one moment to the other.
The last time he was around, at the divorce hearing, he was almost subdued and almost reasonable. He still tried the poor me card regarding DS, I called it and the judge cut it short very sharply.

Beware a toad ceasing to be a toad, temporarily. Plan A hasn't worked, nor plan B etc, etc. The toad hotel is closing for christmas and he is realising that may be the grandiose doesn't win the day.
So be it. Just keep to what you think is reasonable and best for the DCs. And keep an eye out for toad as poor-me card; it's easy for any of us to do but is not helpful or very mature.
Have you done the FP, btw? Definitely worth it.

My WA lady burst out into laughter when I asked why she would not get me into the a Freedom Programme. Apparently I don't need it. I am cured for life.

and - go girl!

Splendid! I am delighted to see he is conforming to the bully's usual image of cowardice.

I shouldn't be delighted. ToadKrote brings out the worst in me.