Toad's Solicitor phoned me at home unannounced after hours this evening

[Karenthetoadslayer]

I thought this would call for a new thread.

As I was preparing the children's dinner, the phone rang and guess who it was? Toad's solicitor, to have a chat about contact.

I am a friendly and polite person, also was in shock, so I complied and explained to him the children's views on their father.

DS thought I was 'cool'. .

You never know what will happen at the moment.

'What are you intending to do over Christmas?' one example question.

Ladies, please feel free to suggest suitable answers that will not get me arrested. I am a little lost for words. Why should I get arrested if I do not disclose to him what I am going to do over Christmas?

Please be assured, all, that my plans over Christmas do not include anything untoward.

You mean you're not planning on giving him a serious fright?

I'd be really enjoying planning all the possible replies (but not send any)

The answer to all your questions: NO.

Or simply:
No
No
No
No

You wish.

Be a dear and do go to court, will you?

Karen you know not to answer but if you have to answer your reply should be:

Stuff

Don't answer though, there is no reason to. What you do over Xmas has fuck all to do with Toad (btw I see an image of the odious Toadface of free school fame every time he's mentioned, it's not pretty )

You need some snowflake glasses - see this thread about having a challenging family Xmas for details on snowflake glasses.

YouReallyAreQuiteFabTiggaxx

To: [email protected]
re: Plans for Christmas:

I would like to visit my family overseas. Please list me your objections to this by 4pm Wednesday.

Additional beration, welcome.

Karen.

Or "please list your objections by 00:01am on Wednesday. Failure to do so shall be taken as your full permission to stay there for as long as I and the children wish."

For such a superior gent, his English is a bit crap, isn't it?

"Dear Toad

Without prejudice

Cognisant as I am that time is of the essence in these negotiations which heretofore have been ongoing for some considerable period, notwithstanding the perorations and lack of fortuity and serendipity surrounding that which is reviewable here and elsewhere regarding any amelioration of and mediation to what may have been considered a relationship, and with that in mind the undersigned wholeheartedly rejects and denies and does not acknowledge those charges to which she has been held by you, namely to answer questions within a timeframe which no reasonable nor rational person would demand."

I have no idea what any of that means as I was just plucking phrases out of the air and cobbling them together, it is certainly nonsense so please don't waste your time trying to parse it! It may be a longwinded way of suggesting he swivels on it.

Depends - Jux He is a very slow writer. This is why I am so concerned about the business, as he takes ages to write letters. Given the amount of emails I continue to receive, I cannot imagine that he would get anything else done. The pre pub emails are marginally more sophisticated than the post pub emails.

additional beration, welcome WWK no encouragement necessary!

I am going to copy and paste this Jux Perfectly sensible reply.

No need to respond.

Let him try to gain legal enforcement to find out your plans for Christmas. That should entertain the police and the local solicitors no end, he's not going to get anywhere other than laughed at.

You're going to be able to write one hell of a sitcom by the time this is over, Karen. You'll make a fortune.

Toad, (nothing dear about him)

I have plans for Christmas.

They do not involve you.

They are none of your business.

Karen (awaiting imminent arrest)

Idea (I want a cut of the profits by the way).....

A collaboration of two esteemed writers:
Toad and The Master of The Universe.
Book written by WWK, adapted for screen by Karen.

Plot: Two men come across each other at a solicitor's (suitably scruffy and inefficient setting). They discover they are both getting divorced and decide to live together....
Numerous episodes ensue, showing their trials and tribulations trying to stop their scheming exes getting their hands on the boodle. Several 'Kevin the Teenager' tantrums occur over the series, as they receive unreasonable and outrageous demands.
Court room scenes could be included with bumbling solicitors and SHBs.
Yes, I know it needs a bit of development, but that's what WWK and Karen would be paid for.
The possibilities are endless! (And don't forget I want royalties when this goes global and WWK's SHL and SHB are over-run with women deciding to shed their TFs.)

Karen, no need to respond.

And I LOVE the idea of the sitcom. I like the idea of the characters initially being somewhat sympathetic and relying on the 'crazy ex wife' trope, and then the audience slowly, gradually realising that these men are absolutely batshit narcissistic abusers who should be locked up. I really like that idea. Yes please.

I changed the land line and these were the consequences:

So God help me if I do something even worse such as not inform him of my plans for Christmas:

'you can't do whatever you like with the utilities that you pay for as
its not your property.

You should not have tampered with this and
you had no right to do so. You continue to do these silly, foolish things without any concern for the
consequences.'

Yep, right, Toad, I can still not remember the new number.

'Sounds like you are losing your sanity!'

With this one I disagree, Toad. Not me. I have consulted a mental health nurse, Toad, because you have accused me of this before, and this senior mental health nurse certified that I am the 'sanest person she knows'. She referred me to WA.

Clearly you are not the authority here, Toad.

Even if you think that you are the judge, jury and executioner.

and the pychologist, but we do know that you don't think too much of psychologists, in particular not child psychologists.

Karen. Hope it raised a little smile. I imagine Toad writing a bit like that - a lot of hot air!

Funny how these men never seem to think much of psychologists, isn't it? I wonder why that is (something to do with being seen right through, perchance? )

I vote for that sitcom, too. It would be brilliant!

I do think the world could do with such a sitcom.

Off to see what goes on next door then, at WWK's.

Yeah? What consequences? Apart from more of his batshit ravings?

He CANNOT get you arrested for refusing to answer his questions.
He CANNOT have you certified or otherwise insist that you insane
He CANNOT insist on you giving answers as there is no power in the land that would enforce it.

He CAN swivel.

I really wouldn't bother answering - just don't! At least not until after his deadline and then maybe a "oh was it important? didn't seem to be - anyway, none of it is any of your business, if you want to involve the police then (as Chameleon says) Gerron wi'it!"

Shits and giggles 'round my way, Karen!

He's the shit and I've got the giggles.

I'm not even on the gin.

He's up to his usual shenanigans to cause as much trouble as he possibly can, because of the winter holidays. He needs access to the house. He got an answer to this: Specify reason with estimated time for access and provide undertakings that he will not remove anything from the house. Also, he is to provide a doctor's letter that he is free from diseases, such as lice.

The last straw was that he had lice due to his, ahem, private activities and related environment last year. Together with my WA lady, I went to see our family doctor to ask if Toad was making this up to scare us even more or if this was true. It was true. Our family GP confirmed to me that 'you get these through close personal contact and in cheap hotels'. This episode was pure horror.

Of course this was a breach of confidence on behalf of the GP, but may be he felt intimidated by the presence of WA and possibly responsible towards the children and I because of the risk of contamination.

I will never forgive Toad for this.

Of course this was a breach of confidence on behalf of the GP

Could Toad find this thread? If so, it might it be a good idea to have that post deleted.

Don't worry, nauticant I immediately went home and told Toad that the GP had informed me. I think the GP apologised to him.