Toad's Solicitor phoned me at home unannounced after hours this evening

[Karenthetoadslayer]

I thought this would call for a new thread.

As I was preparing the children's dinner, the phone rang and guess who it was? Toad's solicitor, to have a chat about contact.

I am a friendly and polite person, also was in shock, so I complied and explained to him the children's views on their father.

DS thought I was 'cool'. .

You never know what will happen at the moment.

Why do you always need your phone on you, Karen?

Because he may just turn up any time and I will not be able to find it in a rush. The last time, as silly as it sounds, DS was actually shouting at me 'dial 999' while I was momentarily just paralysed with fear.

how long will the new/reinstated non-mol take to be in place?

If he used someone else's phone I am making a fuss for nothing no I don't think you are. In our case the person used other people's phones, phone boxes and got other people to call and the police took it very seriously even with no violence or children involved so please keep logging these things as they all add up.

Immediately upon service of documents, walk. A couple of hours, as soon as they track him down. I usually have him served at work.

*If you are a victim of domestic abuse

You might be able to get a break of up to 13 weeks from job seeking if you are a victim of domestic abuse - speak to your work coach if you need this support.*

I just found this on the gov.uk website. That's a relief. I will claim this.

The bastard has of course not sent my P45. I have sent a reminder. What can I do to force him to send this? I cannot claim jobseeker's allowance until I have the P45.

You inform HMRC if he won't send you your P45. You should be able to apply for jobseekers without your P45 in hand.

He sent an abusive email in reply to my request for my P45. I replied back to him that I will print off this email with his contact details and attach to my applications so the respective agencies will be able to contact him. They can then decide if this request is 'childish' as he put it.

That sounds like a good plan!

Karen - if I were you, I'd stop telling him what you're going to do unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. Let him find out the hard way. You want him to hang himself, don't you? (Not literally, I mean figuratively) So don't warn him that his crap emails will become "public" property, or he'll tone them down. Which wouldn't help you at all.

I need him to send the P45. He has seen plenty of 'crap' emails in my statements so he knows that I am distributing them whenever I feel it's necessary. Also, he does not consider them 'crap' emails. He just keeps them coming, Thumb (namechanged?)

Submitted ACAS claim
Submitted Council Tax claim
Submitted JSA claim
Waiting on the line for child tax credits

Almost fit back into court suit

Yep, if you hold your cursor over my name it shows up - Christmas name time!

Fair enough - I forgot temporarily that he is delusional and above everyone else so won't give a shiny shit who sees his emails.

But I'd still keep it under wraps unless necessary, just in case someone with sense starts to help him out!

Oh he is always right and I am always wrong which was of course the basis of our relationship. Same applies to everyone else who disagrees with him to include in particular Social Services, child psychologists and the family court.

He is already preempting any future child psychologists to disagree with him and already informed me that that they will be wrong in what they are going to say to him, although he has not even consulted them yet. But it is sufficient for him to assess this, based on the fact that they are in the same road as my solicitor and therefore must have been influenced by them.

Will receive application form for tax credits. So all ticked off now and I can resume working on my CV (without reference, but that may be for the best)

He really is a nutter.
KOKO and well done for tackling all the applications, it is very tiresome, frustrating but necessary!

Thank you, Random I am not usually like this, but feeling tearful about it all today. Funnily enough, also, because he is such a bastard. I should know that by now.

You're amazing keeping track of all this nonsense and staying afloat at all, you've bloody earned tearful.

You will get this bastard sorted, he's knotting nooses for himself in all directions, it's just the endless and constant faffing with his bullshit that has to be so wearing. Hopefully the non mol will work to shut down some of this for you.

TBH I am relieved that this out-of-court nonsense has now come to an end. It is just not possible to settle anything out of court with Toad.

Karen, you are doing brilliantly. Nothing should happen out of court. He's had his chance. Use all the official channels and institutions at your disposal, it is why they exist.

I'm liking the sound of you. :)

It is a relief to give up on expecting reasonableness from them and take control.
Is there a contingency plan in case he doesn't send the P45? Surely it would fall under employment law and he could be sued if he doesn't send it?

He has to send it Lweji.

I am just wondering if redundancy payment is classed as income. It is of course only statutory redundancy and paid in instalments (typical).

But while I have some sort of incoming funds in the form of redundancy pay, can I actually claim JSA anyway?