Toad's Solicitor phoned me at home unannounced after hours this evening

[Karenthetoadslayer]

I thought this would call for a new thread.

As I was preparing the children's dinner, the phone rang and guess who it was? Toad's solicitor, to have a chat about contact.

I am a friendly and polite person, also was in shock, so I complied and explained to him the children's views on their father.

DS thought I was 'cool'. .

You never know what will happen at the moment.

dunfightin police getting busy over the 'festive period' I remember it well.

I filled in my application for free Council Tax and will drop it off tomorrow. Too embarrassed to post it at our local post office.

I'd put money on the "problem" being heart related unless it's ACTUALLY real in which case I also hope it's nothing trivial. It's the easiest to fake at the outset, and the easiest to keep going even if nothing specific is found. Plus it doesn't require much treatment, so long as the person involved "isn't made stressed". And sugar pills are easy to obtain.

I'd put money on this being 'depression' of the manic variety, as I told my doctor friend today that I've been a bit manically depressed lately!

And she said "I hope you are just depressed and not manically depressed"

And that's how I learnt the difference between figure of speech and friends of a medical nature that seem to wish you sadness....

At which point we fell about laughing.

But Toad will definitely be claiming the medical version of manically depressed to excuse his behaviour.

WWK I do not think that Toad is at all feeling the need to excuse his behaviour. He would never admit that there is anything wrong with his behaviour.

I am now approaching his deadline for out of court settlement which is for 'nuffink' and 'the prospect of lump sums for the children' so I think I can safely not accept it. I think I do not have the choice other than not accept it.

WWK posting again at 3 am? [concerned].

Yeah, the fucker takes it all including sleep.

I say 'wrote' but it is a mere dribble of arseholiance that merely imbues in me magical housecleaning urges. This, in actual fact, is a marvellous thing. I have a bathroom that you could eat your dinner off. No money to pay for dinner of course, but the principle is there!

But this does not matter. It's raining and there's some fresh air abounding for me to sustain myself. And I've got a friend coming to stay, and so we shall engorge wine, and mourn the AWOL woo-doo-voo-doo doll.

Has the voo-doo doll arrived - have you heard anything?

The Voodoo doll remains a mystery, I am afraid. Perhaps it is resting under a Christmas tree.

Right, I just had 16 minutes to accept Toad's latest version of an out of court settlement. Unfortunately, I was out.

What a shame you missed your opportunity to accept nuffink and some abuse just to make the nuffink more interesting. Perhaps you should try never to leave the house, so you can be on hand to receive his generous offers in time

I'm amazed you're still even reading his baloney.

At least his baloney is keeping us enthralled at his utter knobiness! He is so off the wall at you can rest assured at all times you have done the right thing and he is not worth listening to at all ever.

Would the settlement have been sufficient karen, had you been in? I suppose you will need a starting point for negotiations when you see him in court! Yes, must admit that I too am aghast at the baloney-spouting Toad antics. Wishing you and the DCs all strength this weekend

No, it was the option for lump sums, if

• he had enough funds
• I will not make any more applications (non mol, TOLATA, children act,
• he is not forced to make a contact application
• the house sells for am unachievable amount (but this condition only affects 1/3 of the total amount)

So, in conclusion, for nuffink.

I still needed a cognac after I was brave enough to reject it. All the conditions kind of cancelled each other out and he would just have continued this cat and mouse game that he had been carrying on for the last six months.

A few minutes later, I received another offer: To reconcile and I would get a fair share of the property.

Wonder what the judge will say to all this.

Tomorrow is our anniversary. On 29th November 2013 I kicked him out of the house.

I'll raise a glass of cognac in honor of your anniversary karen! Slimy tactics indeed from Toad.

Increasingly desperate but still with no rational thought. Fuck 'im. Although not personally, obvs.
for you too!

A whole year?! Congratulations on your anniversary tomorrow x

I am absolutely shaken that he has so little regard for his children. Out of pure spite he deprives them of absolutely everything.

My solicitor has sent part of the draft application through and we will hopefully be able to submit it next week.

I had still hoped we would be able to avoid to go back to court. Kind of had enough of it.

Don't be shaken, Karen - this is the measure of the "man". His need for control is paramount. His needs are paramount. Everything else is secondary, every one else is unimportant in relation to him.
The best way you can cope going forward is to always expect the absolute worst from him. And I mean the absolute worst. That way you'll never be shocked, only surprised when he doesn't sink to quite the depths you were expecting.

Court has to be the way, sorry - it has to.

Been lurking a very, very, long time...
Go to court. Have it out. Let him make a fool of himself.
It may cost you something monetarily (and I'm not belittling that) but it will be priceless in the ultimate battle.

Hope the cognac is working a treat. Never mind about any previous offers those last two as illustrative of his contradictory mindsets are sufficient I guess - sort of sample charges to put before the judge
I do hope his solicitor is the one who tears his hair out when he tries to get toad's ramblings down into some sort of coherent argument.
Have you done the CSA application yet?
When does the non mol run out?
All you need to do is sit tight for the moment. If he doesn't make the application to either have the non mol discharged or apply for contact, all stays the same.
One thing you do need to do, perhaps, is to plan to take the DCs back to Germany for a holiday. You need his permission and if he doesn't give it, then you have to apply court's permission. I would do that before you apply for leave to remove permanently. Him refusing, as he may well do, would only add more evidence of his twattishness. (And you could use the holiday to research job opportunities, etc, etc

I know. It's just that there is if course always a risk with litigation and I have just had enough of this. But we cannot accept 'nothing'.

My solicitor was keen to settle out if court, because I have enough legal debt already. Worst case, I will have to represent myself.

Toad has assessed himself, of course. The amount is not great, but I will ask him on Monday morning to pay up immediately. After this, I will have a proper assessment done. CM is payable in advance?

Are you unable to get Legal Aid? Lord knows your case is one where it would be deserved!