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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 82

999 replies

steelchic · 19/10/2014 23:34

Psssst Daters over here !!
Come share your stories good and bad

OP posts:
Doobiedoobedoobie · 24/10/2014 21:14

Will catch up with the thread in a bit but was wondering if anyone here has ever been speed dating?

I've been invited to go with a friend next month and am tempted but don't know what to expect! And am inherently quite socially awkward and bad at small talk Blush so not sure if it's a good idea or not. In my head I think it could be quite good fun but equally... Maybe not! No idea what to expect.

jesy · 24/10/2014 21:30

Blown date guys:-(

Doobiedoobedoobie · 24/10/2014 21:50

Jesy why, has he cancelled?

SublimeCorpse · 24/10/2014 22:09

Aw Jesy what happened?

Would love to try speed dating!

jesy · 25/10/2014 07:58

I got wrong of it all.
It still on but I woke up in a panic and missing Mr IT I know it's stupid I'd dreamt about him over night as well.

I suddenly think my dste today will be to nice for me and as he don't drink will I seem like an alcoholic ,

Maybe sweet would be good

jesy · 25/10/2014 08:18

That should say wrong end of it all.

He seems keen

Hollerback · 25/10/2014 09:39

I've been speed dating, it was hysterical! A fun evening and a few dates afterwards. Nothing ever came of them, but I had a great night.

jesy · 25/10/2014 09:46

He seems keen is that good ?

Blossomflowers · 25/10/2014 12:50

jesy take a deep breathe. Smile
Well I have agreed to meet up again with MR Italian tonight for drinks, meal and ??? Am strangely looking forward to it.
Had big bust up with X last night (after he paid for my curry)her really is a dick of the highest order but is taking DS fishing and staying over his, so something good I suppose

jesy · 25/10/2014 13:23

I thought I was ok with Mr IT n her but saw her comments t about liking him being ill n it wound me up .
I know it on fB but the he'll like fact that some one can't do something they planned for weeks

Maybe it's protective nature but I'd not be laughing at some in that situation

About date I keep thinking he lives 40 min away with his dad I don't k ow if he want relationship or just mates I can't do that again.

Oxymoron2K14 · 25/10/2014 16:43

Hmmm well I've been lurking on this thread for a while having stumbled across it when looking for online dating blogs to do some research. It's been amusing and saddening at the same time but what's clear is that communication is a problem for both sexes.

So - anyway, me. I'm a (soon to be) 41yr old divorced male from Northants. Two girls - teenagers who live nearby from a marriage ended nearly ten years ago. I've dipped into the world of online dating and by way of intro would like to share some umusing tales and also chip in on this thread from a male perspective (if that's OK) on my current dating exploits on POF (username there is the same as here if you want to put a face to the person).

So ..... couple of past tales off mis(s)adventure:

Costa Consternation
So, chatting to local girl from POF for a couple of weeks. Attractive sort, curvy with long dark hair. I compliment her on it as way of introduction and after a couple of weeks we start arrange to meet in local Costa.

I'm nervous. I like her. She arrives, looks exactly like the photos (a relief!). We order drinks, sit and chat, all going well. The conversation veers to work and stress. She asks if I get stressed - not really I reply. She then says thats when she started to have problems with her hair - I look, hmmm what problems.

She then takes off her wig in the busy Costa. I don't know where to look! The place is rammed and we're the centre of attention, her waving her long wig and me looking like I've seen a ghost. I sincerely think there must be some comedy cameras there but no .....and before thinking I blurt the first thing that comes to my mind ...."can I try it on?".

She lets me, we laugh it off and she takes a pic. God - priding myself on not being shallow I wonder if I could do this. I mean, I think a woman's hair is a really sensual part of her. Anyway ...we chat more and then part.

I mull it over for a few days and arrange to meet again. She cooks for me and on arrival she is not wearing the wig - it's an odd sensation. She shows me around as dinner cooks - on the bedside table is one of those mannekin heads. She points and says that's where the wig rests.

On seeing that I have to be honest with myself. It could never work.

The moral: sometimes no matter how accepting a person you are there are limits you reach before others would.

We met down the aisle .....
A local woman, early 50s messages me one Saturday evening on POF. Seems nice enough but I say politely that she's not my type and that I wish her well.

An hour later she mails me back saying she's on the wine and would I come over? Again politely I refuse saying that I'm busy and wishing her well in her search.

Another hour passes, on 2nd bottle of wine another invite comes - no thanks again, politely.

Half an hour later - a pic, laying on bed beckoning me in lingerie. I politely refuse.

She takes offence asking why. I say she's not for me and I don't like her personality. Raging she replies - who are you to judge my personality?

I reply, I'm the bloke who accidentally bashed you with his trolley in then Tesco wine aisle earlier and you screwed up your face and called a wanker.

The moral: more than marriage happens on an aisle.

No Monkey Business
Met a girl I'd been chatting to on POF after work in a bar in MK for dinner. I wear a suit to work (sigh) but she was OK to meet after work.

She rang me after Id been there 15 mins saying she was running late from work and hadn't had time to get changed. No probs I said, after all - I was still in my work gear. Secretly I was pleased as I'd thought I'd been stood up.

It appears that in some jobs socialising in work gear is OK - not when you look after apes at the local safari park it transpires. In she rolled, bedraggled, straw in hair and stinking of poo.

She was a nice girl and I gave her the benefit and met her again. We went to the oyster festival in nearby Woburn. She was nervous so got tipsy (no drink for me - driving). We ate some oysters, had a giggle, danced to the live band.

By the end she was worse for wear. I dropped her off and before we could get out the car she leaned over and threw up on my lap. I was mortified but took her into her house and got her and I cleaned up. She kicked off when I rejected her sick mouthed snogging advances!

The moral: effluent and body fluid on successive dates is not likely to inspire romance.

Anyway folks - that's me. Hopefully welcome to come out of the shadows and post .....

steelchic · 25/10/2014 17:22

OXY, poor you but these stories are so funny, great to get the Male side of things :)

OP posts:
Oxymoron2K14 · 25/10/2014 17:28

Haha thank-you Smile

There have of course been less sensational and perfectly pleasant dates.

Fingers crossed this time - only been a few days so still sussing the lay of the land.

What's apparent from reading on here is that you girls overthink the smallest thing far more than us men.

Hissy · 25/10/2014 17:39

oxy thanks so much for the much needed hilarity and breath of fresh air to our thread! most appreciated I can tell you!

i've not had too many horror stories, not counting the apparently 2-headed witney wonder, or the face-picking pillock from basingstoke.

as i'm currently still a bit bruised from the blow out last night, hours before meeting a guy who supposedly had ridiculous amounts of stuff in common with me, so you've even managed to cheer me up. nice one!

Thanks
Oxymoron2K14 · 25/10/2014 17:43

Cheers Hissy - hopefully it you were warned beforehand and it wasn't the ignominy of being stood up. God that's one of my worst fears!

Seems par for the course that when push comes to shove folks bail out of an arranged date very easily. Yet to decide whether it's nerves or just the end result of an online ego boost.

However, hopefully the next you encounter will have more of a spine ....

Hissy · 25/10/2014 18:15

I have a feeling he bottled. he apparently has the same relationship history as mine (abusive).

anyway, as I said, I told him i'd be in his city briefly next month. up to him to follow up.

I genuinely think he's nuts to have blown me out. if he's for real, I think he'll know this too. his move.

Oxymoron2K14 · 25/10/2014 18:22

Ah well fingers crossed he has a change of heart. It's hard to find a kindred spirit or even a vague chance of one.

Good luck!

Hissy · 25/10/2014 20:12

check this out:
fluent in same second language (rare)
both creatives, but industry version of yin and yang
same (word for word!) views on: religion, politics
abuse survivors, both sortedn done therapy, cool.
supprt the same footy team ffs

he emailed me a job in his place, from his work email address, it wasn't right for me, but a nice thought.

all week it was 'can't wait, can't wait to meet you' calls every day, good morning texts, the works.

then 5 hours before a date (I had a sudden invite for son to go and sleepover at his mates) something comes up

I fancied him something rotten too, exactly my weakness type.

I say again... to blow someone off with whom you genuinely have THAT much in common? idiotic.

but he has and I don't think he'll be back in touch again either, which guts me to the core.

anyway.

Oxymoron2K14 · 25/10/2014 20:25

Hmmm sounds like me in the early days of dating - I put so much work in beforehand that there was unnecessary pressure (or at least I felt it) on the first date.

These days I just make sure the rough dimensions fit and try to meet up quickly. I have an impromptu date tomorrow (from Facebook of all sources) which is a mooch in the local park and cuppa with cake in the cafe.

Might be for other reasons of course but some insight to man logic from my dating past......

Oxymoron2K14 · 25/10/2014 20:30

Sorry - meant to say that self made pressure made me bail from some dates.

Hissy · 25/10/2014 21:09

well, I offered a shorter less pressured option at some point next month.

i'll see what happens in the next week or so. maybe he'll realise he's being a fool to himself..

I sound like i'm bigging myself up, i'm not, but we just could be absolutely perfect for each other. we might not be but it looked promising, it really did.

Oxymoron2K14 · 25/10/2014 21:28

Fingers crossed he comes to his senses then - bummer when the seeming good ones go pear shaped.

Messaged someone on POF earlier. Local girl, red wine fan. Two good points. Liked Rugby so I made a joke about how much was she a true fan and how much did she like the macho eye candy.

Cue the retort that she wasn't looking for a quick fuck so I may as well do one. Cough - nor am I I replied only to discover I'd been blocked

It appears my sense of humour needs some work or there is a POF frustrated lady nearby! Hard work at times :)

jesy · 25/10/2014 21:51

Saw him he sweet but nervous we had sex n ow I feel like a tart
I don't think I want to see him again.
Home showered and in tears

newstartforme · 25/10/2014 23:10

Aww Jessy bless you x
Was this a first date?
Don't feel like a tart. I bet he wont be!

Hissy · 25/10/2014 23:57

Oxy you seem to have some kind of nutter magnet gift.

Grin
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