Dating Thread 82

[steelchic]

Psssst Daters over here !!
Come share your stories good and bad

There really are twats online.... One guy after a good few messages .. (seemed normal) then exchanged no's and straight away sends a cock pic .. next one appeared and said he was looking for a lady who was fit , beautiful etc and loved oral sex !! Looks like my block / spam button is very busy !!

Hi Aloneandnowwhat :)

Yes you are (IMO) rushing it. you have known this guy for less than 2months.

you are excited, I understand that, things are promising, fantastic. :)

HOWEVER, a little restraint is needed. this is the time that we can get carried away, when our minds are filled with this new and seemingly wonderful person that is interested in us. It is SO easy to fall into the trap of creating the perfect relationship with someone in our heads, without that person even knowing what we are thinking.

Count the number of times you have seen him. 8, 10, 12? Can't really be more than that if you work/live a normal life etc. ANYONE can be anyone they want you to think they are in 12 meet ups, over 6 weeks.

You are now 'guilty' of getting territorial over him wrt his exwife. Ok I do think there IS something odd about her still doing his flaming washing for heavens sakes, and yes I believe you need to be wary of this situation.

you aren't in the position to actually say something though! not yet.

See his ExW as a reason to cool your jets a bit. If he is still emotionally involved with her, you are going to get hurt.

The exact status of your relationship at this very moment is as follows:

You have established that you like each other, that it suits you both to meet and be intimate and there is potential (seemingly) for this relationship to deepen and progress. (i'm assuming this,but he's certainly going along with this course of events)

At this point in time, it is now that you will begin to calm the initial excitement, and begin to see that no, he is not MrPerfect, he is a man, a normal man as you are a normal women. No-one is perfect. They can be Right For You though, and they can be Good for You.

they can be Being Right for You too, pretending to be The One™, but he knows he's not, so he as to con you. Usually there is no usual way you can know this in 2 months, but trust me if you do, he's a REAL wrong-un.

Now is the time to see through the mists of love and see the man for who he really is. He's got through initial interview stages, and is being invited back for the next phase. He's on the short list.

This is a serious role. It's for the best job in the world; Being Loved By You. you have to be rigorous in your selection, it's not just anyone who will win that role, they have to earn it.

Meanwhile... Would it be really shit to text the bloke to tell him that I won't be taking things further?

or do I have to MN-up and call him back to tell him person to person?

I'm currently in an fwb situation with let's call him Mr Rugby. I would like it to be more but he's made it clear that's not on the cards, plus I think he would be hard work relationship wise.

I had a date a couple of weeks ago with Mr. Music. Date was great, but his job had meant we've not been able to meet up since. Texts every day though.

Currently on OKcupid but what's on offer is woeful.

Excellent post, Hissy, I second all of that. Text him, btw. Unless I'm getting mixed up and you've got past date 3?? In which case should probs ring him...maybe

Oh great, I just signed up to OKC earlier today, Holler! Finally got myself motivated to get back OLD but only doing the freebies for now, as going to be skint this side of Xmas. I know you only get what you pay for though...but maybe I'll find myself a MrRugby situation as a little winter warmer

How could I not be impressed by this:
"I likes wot I sees hun"
Or
"Wot u on ere for babes?"

To my shame I have responded with my usual:
"What planet are you from"
And I get a "lol" back for my troubles

Hi all
well I will update on yesterdays fiasco.. Met a guy on OLD.. Really liked him. He liked me or so I thought.. Ok we were only on our third date... I know early days... well he went from texting me constantly.... to nothing this of course occurred After I had stayed the night with him!!
I really wish I had not done as I ve heard nothing from him in the last twenty four hours.. I feel like the worlds biggest fool at this moment and totally humiliated.. Also Id love to tell him what a total twat he is.. but I wont as Im the fool who went along with it !!! trouble was I really liked him..
Give me some wise words wise women and how do I deal with this...

well... text sent. so. sue. me :)

I just said instinct says it wasn't right for me, i'd tried to see if it diminished, it didn't so I thought best to leave it there. said too that he deserved someone right for him, that I was sorry if he was dissappointed, but that I wasn't that person.

newstart don't panic.

nothing bad hhappened. if he's gone, he's gone. you did nothing wrong.

you have seen him 3 times. that's nothing. disappointing that it's not going to progress, but he's gone for a reason.

have faith. the one for you is still out there. you're still learning here. knowledge is power, you'll get stronger.

he's the stupid one. not you

Newstart, exactly what happened to me.

I'm so gutted it's ridiculous.

Thanks Hissy...

Yes I thinks hes gone.. disappointing it not the word.. But yes this must be more about him than me..

Sublime.. It is totally crazy that we are gutted, (sorry to you)... I should so know better but I have got to say this does sting..

I was just coming on here to say 'nah, fuck that, TEXT HIM'

And you did already

To Hissy obvs

Hope you don't mind this

I did my first nursing shift today , felt it went ok but tbh I hated it
I was very anxious sweating like mad shaking but later in week I'll be only nurse and I'm worried .

On way home I vomited as I was so worked up.
I'm not sure if to discuss it with agency

Sorry just needed speak to some one

Jesy, is this the first shift you've done since you qualified or is it the first shift in that hospital ? Either way I'm sure it will get better. First days are always nerve wracking. If your worried about being the only Nurse on duty speak to the Agency or the hospital, surely that can't be right. ( I'm assuming it's a hospital but I could be wrong )

Steel

It's a care home , really not happy to be only one , first shift I've done in nearly three years.
So worked up I vomited whilst driving

jesy hope you don't mind me posting on thus thread as I'm a lurker ATM as a brief dating sypnosis I split with my EXDH last Oct and split up with my recent bf of 6 months yesterday and am rather melancholy about the whole thing

But, I wanted to say, as a nurse, definitely speak to your agency regarding the shifts, there's no way an agency nurse should be left in sole charge of a care home so soon into working there, that's terrible!

Aw that's awful Jesy, speak to the Agency tell them you're not happy, bloody shocking, expecting one nurse to do everything ! there must be rules regarding staff /patient ratio. Will you always be on your own or is this a temporary thing ( are you a member of a union, maybe they could help)

Sorry Doobie cross post, you'll know better than me.
Now stop lurking and start posting, it helps ....honest :)

And seeing as I've joined in now anyway... Hi everyone!

I imagine I'll be joining you in the new year, me and a friend are going to sign up to an online site in Jan ready for all the New Years resolution joiners

I don't feel quite ready ATM, tbh it was a bit early for me to start dating 6 months post split I think, but we met IRL and I thought I'd take a chance.

I broke up with him yesterday as we're not going anywhere and whilst I'm not particularly in a place to commit to anyone at the moment I felt we were turning more into FWB. He is lovely though and I'll consider restarting the relationship in a month or so as definite FWB iyswim if I feel in a place to do so. I just didn't like the ambiguity of not knowing where I really stood but he's left it open that if I want to do so in the future we can. But need a good month or so to get my head straight first!

Ha steel x post. Maybe I will start posting now tbh, though I'm not really dating so will feel an imposter! But I suppose better than lurking and not contributing at all... Sorry

Doobie, I'm not dating anymore either, but I live in hope lol. The thread will arm you with lots of good advice for when you're ready to get back on the horse :)

Doobie, I was in your situation, FWB but a lovely guy and we still have feelings for each other as good friends. Thing is he didn't want a commitment and he was clear about this from the start as he was going through a nasty separation .I needed a stepping stone to move on from my ExH so I thought this was the best scenario. We saw each other for about 9 months but I started to fall for him. Then about 6 months ago he told me someone from his past had come back in to his life and they wanted to make a go of it. I was devestaded partly because really he didn't want any commitment to me but he did her. We talk now and again but we don't mention his new GF, as far as I know they're still together. I'm over him and I'm glad i had him in my life.

Thanks NewStart - you're not in London by any chance are you?!

I know exactly how you're feeling and it's awful, I'm sorry you're feeling the same way as I am