Dating Thread 82

[steelchic]

Psssst Daters over here !!
Come share your stories good and bad

mink Its so hard to not get back into old patterns. I also find it hard to push back or speak up. I was not always like this and I remember ruffling quite a few feathers so have had to tone down parts of my personality. I definitely bottle it up until I just get it off my chest and end up left alone.

Can you honestly be a friend with benefits without feeling more deep down if already have a history together. Do you deserve a more permanent relationship. I also have 2 dc and a ex who I have to see briefly 3 times a week for pick up and drop off and can only see Mr Young twice a week. But I made it clear that if he's dating me then I want it to be exclusive.
I also find it hard to figure out the other person and how to be myself around them.

Are the issues serious and affect his actions or how he is daily. I true to fix a ex with mental issues but had to admit defeat in the end and look after myself.

Bless him, he did say I could do camera off if I wanted, but if i agree to that, then i'm hiding something aren't I?
Gah new media has a LOT to bloody answer for...

Bless him, he did say I could do camera off if I wanted, but if i agree to that, then i'm hiding something aren't I?
Gah new media has a LOT to bloody answer for...

I think the going back to a friends relationship but with benefits is only beneficial to ONE of the couple. usually NOT us...

Strange how a day goes by - I really think me and the guy I'm seeing I don't think it'll ever be right.

we don't text/chat that easily and when he did send me a text yday it was talking about having his DD for the weekend and that he was busy with her. This was on his weekend 'off'.

No, I'm not doing this, setting myself up for a fall and being around a bad kisser, someone who makes jokes 24/7 and the rest. Nope he's dumped.

Does anyone want to talk about their dates etc??

I'm not on any sites at the moment (my Match Crapfinity ran out), meeting Kent Lad tomorrow. I really think I want to try and meet someone in real life.

super meeting someone in RL is always better. Seeing them in their natural habitat etc. But how is it done.

As for FWB. Oh no this is for my benefit and my suggestion. Have done it before, usually with xs and it has been ok. Kind of smooths the transition from being in a rs to single. But he may be more reluctant as it is not really his thing. Will let the dust settle having had a long chat with a wise old owl.
His issues are complex. The acute phase is likely to pass relatively quickly but the rest are more longterm but situation rather than MH iyswim. But I have baggage too.

Hissy your brave doing Skype date, I would need to get the lighting right to conceal my dark circles.

Does anyone have advice on frequency of texting when dating. Love a mans point of view on this. It started with Mr Young texting me couple of times in morning and a couple in the evening when first dating. Should i read into it if he doesn't text all day until evening. To be honest I hardly initiate texting because i don't want to seem needy. Taking into account that my ex would never text me unless emergency.

... but if you need to end it, why drag it out with the FWB? why 'smooth the transition'? it's over, it's over.

why complicate things? it will do your self esteem no good at all!

Hissy I agree with you if the FWB advice is for mink - you really don't need to smooth anything and your advice re your self esteem it will plummet if anything, well in my experience anyway.

Because the sex is good and I like sex but you could be right about if its over its over although that may be why I do fwb before so that it isn't over till I say so.
Mostly because I have neither the time or inclination to find anyone else any time in the foreseeable and it gets chilly in winter.

mink - if you think you can cope with the FWB that's fine but it seems as if you get the control (re it's over etc).

why do you need to find anyone else anyway yet, winter or not?? just chillax and enjoy being single and get out there and flirt - Christmas parties etc!

super What dates LOL. I am bored with seeing the same faces. People seem to be doing major disappearing acts lately. Had a couple of times last week where loads of messaging, talking about chatting and then profile taken down, or off to Oz for 3 weeks. Such a waste of time, sorry I feel I am being very negative lately. messaging Mr Gardner atm. We seem to have a lot in common but will not hold my breath. Please someone tell me it is possible to meet some OLD and have a relationship.

Tbh the main thing that dents my self esteem is the series of failed rs which is why I kinda decided that if this one went belly up that was it for me. I am bored of trying and trying and it ending badly. Usually me that finishes it just not this time.

I am LP. Babysitting has got harder to come by since last time I pulled. so no xmas parties for me

blossom I get what you mean re same faces and what is it with disappearing acts? I suppose that's why I don't do much OLD now and if I do then I meet up with them soonish if I can... You CAN have a relationship with someone OLD but gah it's hard...

mink - sorry to hear about the trying and trying and failed rs and bad endings - yeah that can be really wearing trust me I know...

mink - how about friends who have DC can you babysit for them and they you etc? and also what about joining Gingerbread is it, that's for LP/SP's I'm sure you can sort out something there.

I'm lucky just me myself and I but wary who I invite back and tends to be me catsitting the new cat I have.... but he's better company than a lot of men sometimes lol.

Super I agree with early meet up. So often have been disappointed and dont' want to invest loads of time if no spark. I really am trying to be more selective. Mr Gardening sounds too good to be true, most be something wrong

Blossom A OLD relationship is possible but will it be the kind we want, its hard for sure and I hate all this early start to dating. It was not this hard when I met my ex who I thought was forever.
I think I am clueless and probably will be more, the guy in dating has not text me today and I am wondering why especially since he agreed to be exclusive. Guess the chase is over and he's going to get lazy.

super only if they brought their dc here. Maybe in a few years. And tbh it isn't fair on my dc to go through a string of blokes.

But yes you can have an rs from OLD I have had a 7 year, a 4 month and 9 month rs (abusive prick; unreliable and didn't like sex; and fab but dumped me last night respectively) so possible but based on my experience not sure its advisable though.
Mind you most of my RL rs were just as unsuccessful and usually 4 months and then you are left with awkward situations with mutual friends.

gotta I think I am clueless too. I don't seem to very good at picking anyone I fancy in rl. Always great messaging and chatting on the phone and then meet up and then I just don't fancy them.
Well have swapped numbers with Mr Gardener, were we go again. Weirdly he used to live 5 minutes around th corner now about 30 miles away.

gotta I wouldn't worry too much about texting lulls unless you have asked a direct question that is being ignored. Some people have a higher text drive than others.

mink higher text drive lol

Blossom up to a year ago I spent 12 years in a relationship that was not functioning and ended up about fear of loosing friendship. I get so anxious that I am getting it wrong, so wound up that I sent a rant text last week because I wanted more clarity for my dumb sake.
Mink I don't have a high text drive but Mr Young is all over me in person but his text are very short and only a couple a day, could be that I'm crap at drumming up interest because I am not a sexy texter.

I am extremely textually active but if you watch other your date texting if he is a slow typist then there's your answer to why he keeps them short and far between. But then you got yourself a man with a slow hand

He's 24 so texting is his thing, me I'm a old bird and not use to all this technology . I was doing a Miss Marple and checked if he had really come off pof, he appears to of deleted account. I just didn't want to be the one who deleted account and then find out he hadn't.