Dating Thread 82

[steelchic]

Psssst Daters over here !!
Come share your stories good and bad

Ah, That's shit hissy. You had to be honest with him though. How long has he been single?

Hi all...
well Mr Unavailable has contacted me... hmm have kept it light hearted with him. The balls in his court now BUT Im not expecting too much..
Ive even lined self up with another date !! it had to be done..
we will see.. Think I need to slow right down its not a race right?

HISSY I hope you get the reply you want x

no. not reply I wanted. apparently I have a choice: friends -which I don't want, not when I know i'm kidding myself, and that stops me from having a proper realtionship which IS what I want, because i-m too emotionally involved with someone who isn't emotionally available...

or nothing.

he doesn't want to have a relationship with me. or can't. whatever, it's all the same.

it really is his loss, and there's nothing I can do about it.

hey ho. never mind. everything happens for a reason.

Fucksake Sorry dude.

s'alright. it's my fault for not walking away before. my fault for making a tit of myself.

sometimes we meet people that resonate with us, but it's not right. it hurts but it's not right because it's not right.

he confused me, and that was where I should have distanced myself. but by flipping co-dependancy tick kicked in and I lost perspective.

my fault.

oh, he's not been thhis blunt btw, it's me cutting a long story short.

Oh Hissy that's a bugger. I'm sorry but best you know now than waste emotional investment.

At least hissy he said it straight away. .. no consolation I know... but he didn't totally string you along. Still it hurts... and if he is not ready for anything , why the hell is he online dating ???

Hissy you have NOT made a tit of yourself. You opened your heart up and it hasn't worked out. You have to make yourself vulnerable to find love again, so you did the brave thing and went for it. Please don't beat yourself up about this. I'm so sorry that he's backed out. You'll just have to lick your wounds and get through it - and you will, you've been through much worse, remember. Chin up x

thanks all. much appreciated. :)

feeling flat. can't even be bothered to message the guy I thought was gorgeous the other week that's just hit the like button.

s'poose nothing ventured...

HISSY , so sorry that's shit, hope you're ok x

Hissy --de-lurking (and name changed) here to say how sorry I am.

I have been following your 'adventures' and everyone else since Dating thread 80--Hello all

I am probably going to try OLD sometime in the next few months which is why I haven't posted before. I thought I should wait until I actually started. I separated from H just a few months ago and don't think I am any way close to ready yet but I think I would like to give it a go at some point.
Hope you all don't mind me jumping in, I find it really helpful to read the posts and on dating experiences, dating site, profiles etc. I'm starting to feel like I know you already...

Having a huge wobble this am , basically my and Mr IT pic on facebook by someone when we went day trip , just reminded of nice time I'd had and how I miss being part of a group of friends,
It's silly I know to get upset ,think it's just a number of things and that set me off.

feeling a bit better today thanks. onwards and upwards.

remembers that it's all BS until you meet. I didd try really hard to remember this, but the messages etc ran away, I need to be more circumspect about everything.

Glad you feeling better , Hissy.

It's hard but people reassure us all it gets better.

I got chatting to a very cute msn last night , but he wanted me to go his , I said no his reply my family be there so defiantly no lol
Yeah I k ow all about not meeting in ppl houses but also wary of lots of ppl being there if it a first date.
So bye bye to him.

Well that sort of cheered me up
Having a nose on pof up pops my ex ,I texted him saying oh no what happened with gf ash on site he says he not text a pic proving he was lol
Next thing he gone I presumed blokes me.

Some ppl never change just feel sorry for girl he chatting and his gf but made me smile

Why do .an th I k they can get away with it x

hissy sorry to hear that but I can't help thinking you have had a lucky escape, there is nothing worse that caring for someone who is emotionally unavailable. I am in this situation with my X and it is killing me.
Have nothing going on with OLD atm, all gone very quiet, well plenty of messages from people I am totally not interested in.
jesy I am struggling to understand some of your posts, you ok?

Sorry I'm fine tar

oh i know blossom I knew the 'friends' route was a get out potentially, and the fast lane to me getting hurt.

and that was assuming that he'd have kept all coms on 'friend' basis, which he hadn't. so blurring would definitely happen.

I have to be true to myself. i'm the important one here. not some bloke who may be great, but isn't able to have the relationship I need.

hissy I actively ignore anyone who state they are not looking for a relationship or just want to date nothing serious. It is not exactly a good starting point is it Have no time emotionally retarded men in my life.

Hissy, you did't make a tit of yourself - you took a chance, nothing wrong with that, life is full of risks and sometimes they pay off. His loss x

Jesy - I'm sorry, but I just skim past your posts now when I see them not because I want to ignore you, but I simply can't understand what you're writing.

Do you have spell check or something? Could you possibly read your posts back before you post them to see if it's legible? I really don't mean to sound horrible but I'm finding your posts so difficult to read that I've given up.

I'm delurking (and have not name changed daring) to say Hissy, I'm sorry it didn't work out with this man, but I'm a great believer in what's meant for you doesn't pass you by particularly when shit stuff happens when it's strangely comforting and not woo at all - you're all ready for when the absolutely perfect man for you crops up. Sorry, I must have been reading too many self help books

I am thinking of starting OLD and have been following these threads for a while now. Particularly I'm interested in what to put in your profile, and the stuff about photos (I have no horses, so there will be no pics of me with any equine friends! My cat is feisty as fuck, so no pictures of me cuddling him, either). However, all my photos of me are crap ones taken by my ex or me with my adult DCs - all efforts by friends to get a half decent pic when we are on nights out have failed (feel a bit unphotogenic, actually, although wine was also involved ). Would a half-decent selfie be ok?

And, oh God, writing a profile - I sound so bloody .... prim!! My 'hobbies' don't help. Are there self-help books for writing a decent profile ....?!

Hissy I'm in something very similar with TT which has been going on 2 months and which I am emotionally invested.

He too is emotionally unavailable in that we see each other if I'm lucky once a week n then he makes excuses not to see me any other time. Very frustrating!

Bats When I created my profiles, realised that did not have one decent photo of myself as X never bothered taking any. So I found a local photographer and had some taken was a lovely experience and I am always being told what lovely pics. Worth doing if you can afford it.