Dating Thread 82

[steelchic]

Psssst Daters over here !!
Come share your stories good and bad

surf He sounds lovely, very exciting stuff. My position is I have two DC and the man I'm dating doesn't so I think its harder to see myself with him, he's also 24 and I'm 33.

gottafind - I think I would have the 'exclusivity chat' in person, that way you can gauge his reaction as well.
I do think it's difficult not to overthink things but I'm trying really hard just to be myself and if that means things don't go the way I'd like then it can't have been right for me. I can't be bothered with head games etc as I have enough on my plate as it is! It sounds as though you really don't want to play games either, so what have you got to lose by asking him? If it turns out that things aren't as you expected then at least you found out sooner rather than later. I do feel for you though as its really tough.

gottafind - are you looking for a long term thing or are you seeing how it goes? Is he? Because I think things may depend on that. If he doesn't want a long term thing you may want to just enjoy the relationship or it might just cause you heartache.
It really is difficult!

surf Thanks, I think what you said about long-term or for now is in the back of my mind. Seeing him this weekend, I don't know if he's still on pof.
Sounds like the man your dating I being very open and eager to be in your life.

Just checked pof, he's still on there and was logged in this week. My gut tells me he's just wanting fun and to hang out so I need to think about what I want. I'm not getting any younger and would eventually like to meet a future partner or a man that lets me know he wants a proper relationship. Feeling anxious now, it my monthly and I'm out of chocolate so feeling delicate.

Just told someone off for posting with pictures of his kids, I really hate it. He replied I aint a Dick, charming.
Seem to endlessly texting people atm and not getting anywhere. Getting so bored with OLD

gottafind from reading your replies it comes across like you want something more long term and meaningful so you need to find out if he feels the same.
What I will say is, just because he's logged in doesn't necessarily mean he's not into you/wants a relationship!
I went through a bit of a phase where I kept logging in, even though I wasn't replying to anyone just to see how weird the messages got The instant gratification can be a bit addictive I think.
I suppose the difference was that I openly spoke to Mr Tall about it and when he had logged in he always mentioned it before I asked so I felt like I could trust him to be open.

blossom I really hate the photos with kids too. And naked chest shots (wtf??)
Which sites are you using? I know it gets a bad rep but I have found POF to be the best site, probably because it's a number game. Eharmony was total shite and I'm not keen on match either.
Have you thought about RL dating (if I wasn't giving it a go with Mr Tall id definitely try speed dating!)

surf I think is it is bit sick posting pics of kids, think it should be banned. I would be mortified if my X posted pics of my boys on there. I also hated E Harmony, so long winded expensive, never managed to get a date. Use POF is ok , Match I like actually, OK Cupid full of young boys. RL is not an option and very rural, just don't get the opportunity to meet anyone.

Oh and Mr posting pictures of kids and just messaged to say, are you kidding my kids are my world. Oh dear.

surf I would feel awkward mentioning pof or exclusive talk which might mean its not a good start. You seem to have openness which cuts all the guessing and stress. Will see how this week goes, thanks for advice.

Surf I'm hoping both will turn out good x

Having a better day we'll stopped being sick ,and he didn't run a mile by my picture plus my dad gave me money for my birthday so will buy a good mascara

I've had the exclusivity chat before where I said that someone I'd been talking to a few weeks ago had just messaged me and asked if I wanted to meet, and I replied saying I didn't. It was a bit of a white lie (they'd contacted me again but hadn't asked to meet) but it worked - she said she didn't feel like meeting anyone else either. That was on our 3rd or 4th date I think, seemed like the right time.

As for photos of kids, yeah, it's weird. Some tinder profiles are just photos of the kids, none of the parent. Sometimes it's photos of the kids and photos of a man - presumably the ex husband. And still none of the mum who owns the profile. I swipe no, partly because I'm not going to say 'yes' blindly to anyone, and partly because I don't want to meet someone who has no understanding of how 'attraction' is meant to work. Or is too shy to post one of themself. Or thinks that they're not attractive enough to attract anyone - what's the point of meeting them then?

I don't, on the other hand, have a problem with bare-chested photos on women's profiles. Still wouldn't swipe right though. I have seen a couple of them, but it does smack of desperation somewhat.

Omg Bant do woman also put up pics with no top on, what sites? Sound so desperate and only going to attract the wrong men surely.

Oh no Bant you've found my profile with the topless picture.....LOL only joking ;)

Why would you do that l ok

Just received a birthday gift off Mr IT , I know he bought it ages ago

Haha bare boobies
I dont mind a 6 pack though

Do women also pose with drugged animals ?

Drugged animals lol

Oh I hate the drugged animals pics. I saw one with a man stroking a tiger and pouting whilst flexing his muscles in a tight vest. Yeah, it really made him look like a big, hard man stroking that wild beast!

I am talking to a guy at the moment who has a few photos and one of them is of him and his teenage daughter. I don't like it either and it seems inappropriate but he is fit and seems lovely so I'm going to ignore it just this once!

Are there really women who post pictures of themselves topless, Bant? Or do you mean just scantilly clad ladies?!

Some bloke just messaged me I basically bit his head off when he commented about travel but next message off him was that not what I meant x

mrperfect bottled again I think. despite all the chat over the weekend, the flirts etc, he messaged me at lunchtime saying we should just be friends as was discussed before meeting.

i've just gone back to him saying that I want a relationship, not just friends and that I think he wants this on some level too, but is frightened of getting trapped/hurt/etc (ex dv)

i've said that if I settled for friends only, it's a cop out and i'm not being honest with myself or him. therefore by stating what I want, I realise I potentially 'lose' him, but the alternative would be that I lose myself and get hurt. something neither of us would want.

so. high risk, but it has to be done.

Not sure what to say Hissy but I guess right thing x

Oh

I'm really sorry. Just see what he comes back with.