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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 82

999 replies

steelchic · 19/10/2014 23:34

Psssst Daters over here !!
Come share your stories good and bad

OP posts:
DollyDreamboat · 02/11/2014 18:04

How exciting! Grin

JuJuHeyHey · 02/11/2014 22:03

How did the second date go, Dolly? No handshakes, we hope!!

Hissy you have to PROMISE to do a loo update tomorrow!! Grin

Blossomflowers · 03/11/2014 08:51

Morning all, well not much action on the OLD, was texting someone who seems rather lovely, we have swapped numbers and hope to chat tonight. Spent most of weekend with X as seems the norm these days, seems little has changed except he does not sleep here. Not good for my MH me thinks
jesy hope you are feeling a little more up lifted.
dolly 2nd date?
hissy so date tonight, is it the first, sorry I loose track

newstartforme · 03/11/2014 10:28

Hi all..
dolly how did the 2nd date go?
jessy how are you?
blossom you need to stop seeing the ex me thinks.
Im hanging in there.. Not heard much from Mr unavailable bar the odd message via face book!! I think he wants to keep me on the back burner for a ego boost!! well f"c% that !!
Am ignoring now if he is interested he can bloody well make a proper effort.. I am sitting on my hands though its hard !!!
Been busy on the od site got a few potential dates lined up.. to be honest only one looks really promising but Im not rushing in and getting my fingers burnt again!!
will check in later x

Blossomflowers · 03/11/2014 10:37

new you of course right about X am never going to move on am I. Good luck with dates. And yes do not text mr Unavailable.

There are so many time wasters out there, get messages from people other end of the country, sometimes in different countries. Just how is that going to work?, keep a rule within the hour am I being unrealistic? Was messaging this lovely sounding chap on Sunday he then announced that he worked of shore ( had mentioned this before) but will be going away for 50 days next. Oh jog on. Finding OLD so tiring. And breathe .....

DollyRocker1 · 03/11/2014 10:51

Date no 2 was nice. Very deep and meaningful guy but no spark. How do you guys find Match? Soulmates is quiet even in London area and I've now been on Eharmony a while so matches may slow down.

Blossomflowers · 03/11/2014 10:53

dolly shame but just have to keep going. I like Match and POF, mind you still not found someone I really like after months of dating

DollyRocker1 · 03/11/2014 10:58

Thanks Blossom. I've only been on a few dates but happy to keep going until I find someone I really like. Would any of you mind having a look at my profile? I think it's too focused on my interest in dancing but not quite sure how to improve it.

newstartforme · 03/11/2014 11:06

dolly I find match okayish you get a few weird types on there.. I had a 20 yr old message me on Saturday.. Im 40!! haha.. Its so hard to suft out the good/nice ones. I reckon its luck of the draw and being careful really.
I thought Id struck lucky with Mr Unavailable but its been a painful experience really.. though I did get a bit carried away..
This is going to sound bad but I don't always read the profiles properly.. Its always the look of them that's gets me or not.

Tropicalchancer · 03/11/2014 11:09

I've just signed up for a speed dating event, tell me it'll be fine!

newstartforme · 03/11/2014 11:17

How old are you tropical

DollyRocker1 · 03/11/2014 11:21

I really enjoy speed dating. I just find that even when you get matched you don't often hear from them again.

Tropicalchancer · 03/11/2014 11:26

I'm 34-it's run by pink dating, as I'm gay.
Just never done it before, and super nervous!
Had my first date of pof on saturday, she was lovely but not for me-mates maybe but no spark.

newstartforme · 03/11/2014 11:32

I did sd once when I was late twenties. I had a ball doing it.. I did meet someone v nice and was with him a few years. I remember being nervous but excited too.. The champagne we had helped.. But then I was 29.. Don't know how I would get on now at 40 lol

Blossomflowers · 03/11/2014 11:38

new I think you gte weirdo's on all site if I am honest. I have talked about this before I am always being contacted by young guys and I am 49. OK Cupid I think is the worse for this. I also think I should pay a lttle more attention to profile, have met too many guys that I should have weeded out earlier. Kind of apply give benefit of the doubt thing

newstartforme · 03/11/2014 11:49

Its such a minefield isn't it? But then it seems to be the way we all look for someone now.. I think for me with Mr Unavailable I was so flattered as he really did say all the right things to me.. I was just so drawn to him it was crazy really.. Im normally quite astute I think.. Feel such a fool though.. Really do think so men well lots prob use it for a quick ego boost.. I just hate the thought that he has a few of us at the same time all vying for his attention.. Whilst he made his choice.. yuck yuck yuck..

Blossomflowers · 03/11/2014 11:51

new don't beat yourself up. How many times did you meet him btw?

SezaMcGregor · 03/11/2014 12:56

I've just asked someone out and my head is going AGGHHH!!

I have such bumbling butterflies! I've had a crush on him from afar since June/July and finally plucked up the courage to contact him.

Crazy post from a currently crazy lady! Grin

Bant · 03/11/2014 12:56

newstart - that's the problem with OD - the sweet shop / sweet trolley / grass is greener syndrome. Both men and women do it, it's pretty much par for the course unfortunately

This is why you've got to have a thick skin. People will disappear for no good reason, and people don't like giving bad news so you'll often get no explanation why. I've been guilty of letting conversations drift off into nothing, and I've had it done to me too. Sometimes I try and keep a conversation going until it becomes clear that either the woman is just being polite, or she's keen but very boring or just not working for me in some way.

In the past, when I've said to someone I was messaging that 'I don't think we're really gelling, conversationally' I've had vitriolic responses - 'oh, you think you're too good for me, do you? Who the hell do you think you are? You'll never end up with anyone else like me'

To which I thought 'well, that's my point..'

There have been others who I'd thought I'd really made a connection with, either via messaging or in person, and they disappeared, so obviously they hadn't thought the same about me. At that point it's just got to be 'chin up, tits out, move on' and hoping that someone will come along where it's mutual.

The only thing you can console yourself with is that if they treated you flakily, then you're better off without them, because they would have been a flake in real life too.

jesy · 03/11/2014 15:11

I'm ok, still chatting ,
Positive news on job front which has helped me ,there maybe work avalial in what I'm trained for and not what I'm doing now where I'm in charge but not qualified for .
I was ill again this am due to worry that's no life.

On dates front , nothing planned

Blossomflowers · 03/11/2014 15:38

jesy good news on the job front. Don't worry I have no dates planned either. Going to take it really easy.
Funny no news from Mr Italian after his daughter sprained her arm, I think he may have thought I was a little unsympathetic, I actually thought he was being really wet and confirmed a lot of what I thought about hi,. Has made my life easier though as did not have to have the I'm dumping you conversation

jesy · 03/11/2014 15:43

Thanks blossom

Mr v texted me to see how work was going lol

Blossomflowers · 03/11/2014 15:50

Have you met him jesy sorry I loose track

jesy · 03/11/2014 15:52

No he the one who stood me up lol

Blossomflowers · 03/11/2014 15:53

Ah yes a few times I think?