Dating Thread 82

[steelchic]

Psssst Daters over here !!
Come share your stories good and bad

JuJu I think you are going to have to accept it was a lovely weekend with an extra bonus of some good sex with a nice person. That's not bad really. Perhaps if he lived closer and didn't contact you then that would be worse. What are you completely devastated by? The fact he hadn't contacted you? Was it this weekend gone as if so it's only Tuesday. I suppose being harsh if you don't want to feel rejected after sex it might be better to wait to have sex with someone that you know is wanting a relationship and that tgey want it with you? I've done the same as you before, had great sex and hoped it would lead to something more, I read too much into it after the event. But that was my problem really.

But it's horrid when we feel dejected. At least you know you can have great sex!

Min, thanks for this. You're right. I think I'm devastated because I was doing really well and it left me feeling vulnerable. I've been feeling really on top of things and in control and then I let my guard down. You're completely right, I need to put relationship before sex because it leaves me feeling this way every time I have sex too soon - well, every time it's with someone who I really like anyway. When will I learn?!

IMNOT do you think that text was sent a while ago? and only now came through because you swapped phones?

perhaps it's an old text which is why he's done the wtf thing?

either waay, he's a nob and you're well shot!

I had war and peace from some guy 'selecting me' for some research.

what a total nob! wonder why no-one replies mate? have a word with yourself!

No, I don't think so hissy, as put sim in the new phone at the weekend & he made reference to something v recent. Agree, some 'men' are nobs though.

On a more positive note, one of the lovely pof guys has asked me on a date, about time. He was 'building up to it' apparantly. date

Sorry, phone is causing no end of trouble.

juju you're probably on a come down from the weekend. Give it a week or so and you won't feel so upset. It's so tempting to sleep with someone when you know you want it and they want it - can you view it as a good time to look back on?

I need advice from everyone. I've got two dates this week and another two lines up for next week. How do you keep on top of all the messaging and dates? I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed but don't want to not email people if they look like a good match. How do you others deal with this - do you leave days between messages (leaving two or three days at the moment)

i have a date with MrPerfectonPaper!

Monday.

Oooh I'm quite excited for you!

Wow hissy how fab! Bet Monday seems ages away

it does. :)

I've realised that I just want to date, different people for a LONG time. Not interested in a 'proper' relationship, or looking for 'the one'. I thought I was, bit OLD has changed my views (in a good way for me)
Not sure how to get that across to a guy without sounding like a serial shagger

i know what you mean IMNOT i was almost getting to that page. variety being the spice of life etc.

finding THE ONE is so much pressure somehow.

Typically it never rains but it pours. I've got a date with Mr Editor tomorrow evening and Mr Italian on Sunday. And then another guy I've been chatting - we'll call him Mr PR - wants to meet on Sunday too. I don't yet know what time I'm meeting Mr Italian but would prefer to only meet one a day. (I'm not usually this popular!)

So I am going to suggest Monday evening to Mr PR. Another complication is I'm going on holiday on Monday week and would like to have the opportunity to fit in a second date if date one goes well with any of them.

I've only ever dated one guy at a time in the past so I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Any tips on how to deal with scheduling issues? Would be nice to space dates out a bit.

Dolly is there much point in meeting MrItalian, or has he had a sudden personality/sex god graft?:)

Thanks Daters, it has just shaken my confidence and made me feel really vulnerable. Unfortunately I can't give you any advice in return as I haven't got the luxury of several blokes chasing me. Or in fact anyone!

Hissy exciting news! fingers crossed for Monday.

Trying to catch up with the thread after being off for a few days is tricky!

IMNOT I did say to him that absolutely he is NOT allowed to cancel. He knows this! :D

I have told him that I will enjoy watching him make it up to me for cancelling.

JUJU you felt bad for having fun, and you thought if you had sex it would potentially spark a relationship? OR, you felt that ridiculous female guilt thing for a ONS.

Lesson learnt. some can do ONS, others can't. If you are looking for fun and nothing else then fine, expect nothing more and you won't be disappointed. be aware that bonking a friend can bugger up a friendship so consider if you want/can afford to lose it before getting to the DTD situation.

In any event, what has happened has happened, don't beat yourself up for any of it. you didn't do anything wrong.

Hissy, I've never spoken on here about MrItalian so wondered if you were thinking of someone else?

Not quite Hissy, I don't feel bad for having a ONS or guilty about it in itself. And he's not a friend as such - we only see each other when mutual friends are involved maybe once every couple of years. It's two things - firstly, the sex was amazing. To be blunt for a minute he is only the second man I have ever slept with (I'm nearly 40, had 15+ partners in bed) who made me come without my having to show him what to do. So there's that whole 'wow' oxytocin thing. The second thing is that it felt like I'm not good enough for him. In the pecking order of life he is definitely above me. I sent him a short, jokey message yesterday and his reply was brief and a bit impersonal. I replied and he ignored it and hadn't messaged back since. So I feel a bit like, hang on, it's not as if I'm a complete stranger, have some decency. I don't want it to be awkward next time we run into each other, which we inevitably will at some point. There's nothing worse than feeling not good enough. I should know, my husband (another man above me in the pecking order) left me for someone else - so all this is knocking my new-found confidence and what's hurting is that I know I haven't done anything wrong!! Anyway, deep breath.

Thanks for listening

ah Dolly sorry, there is another MrItalian... maybe it's Blossom...

Hello yea Mr Italian was me. Still kind of seeing him, still not sure but he is great company, someone nice to go out with, am I being totally selfish?

my love juju... what's this pecking order business? hmm? hmm?

NO-ONE is higher up any food chain than you! or me, or uncle tom cobbley!

where did you allow yourself to accept that you were a lesser being? who taught you this?

you are perfect, just the way you are. if anyone thinks that you are beneath them, i'm afraid they are the low lives!

[manly punch on the arm] come on girl, you're worth more than you say you are!

Have been messaging this chap this week, seems really nice was going to exchange numbers but he has really put me off as he said not looking for anything heavy. Am reading too much into this?

Thanks Hissy, guess I just didn't get a lot of positive affirmation when I was a kid. After a while you begin to believe your own press and even as a free-minded grown up woman I can't shake it off. You give good pep talk though :)

Hi
My coffee dste didn't happen , but we still texting I don't get it.

Is he playing me or what
As for date at weekend he been nice and caring do I give him a second chance