Dating Thread 82

[steelchic]

Psssst Daters over here !!
Come share your stories good and bad

sent him a whatsapp voice mail ramble

i'm actually shaking now..

:)

Aww Hissy time for a cuppa & to get bust with something else...

Busy! B*** kindle!

I added him again stupid I know but we get on

he replied. reasons he can't go into. not right to have a relationship atm, and perhaps he shouldn't have joined dating site/ contacted me. he's sorry, realy does like me, agrees 100% about compatibility etc, but no.

have replied, he hasn't seen it yet. i don't think i'm blocked

how the bloody hell am I supposed to pick myself up and carry on dating when I know that there won't be anyone that ticks those boxes? ffs, on paper it's perfect.

will take some time out from dating I think. there's no point in talking to anyone when I feel that they're all a compromise.

i've never felt like this, it's insane.

of course it could all be fluff, but he volunteered much of the info before I did, so no mirroring here, no-one can speak my second language (as a second language) as well as I do/he does. it's an important part of both of our lives, for different reasons.

whatever it is, it better be a bloody good reason, cos if I find out it isn't, i'll have to kick his arse!

i'm not blocked.

he's typing a message.

eek

Guy from last night texted how was I ext said wasn't sure about yesterday he got upset which is fine I can understand but be left it up to me.
Potential date n me have chatted usual chit chat mentioned charity match I went to he was there even asked if I'd go to a official game .we pla ning to see each other .no booze n Bridget Jones pants on lol

Oh Hissy be careful. Those on-paper-its-perfect types have a tendency to fuck you up.

Hissy - you might just give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe his timing was off with joining his dating site. A week after joining Match I received a call from the doctor with bad news. I have had 80 men contact me on Match (some of them quite possibly actual real-life men!) but it's not like I want to reply to any of them until I sort this medical thing out first. Bad timing on my part.

Can u tell when peoples eyes are not smiling

Back from impromptu Facebook date (met via local Spotted type group).

Hour walk in the woods then a nice long lunch went well and both want to meet again. In the convention of this thread I'll call her MissItalian (half Italian).

Will park the dating profile for a bit and see how this pans out.

As I suspected Hissy - not ready to date. Was like me in the early days - all good with chatting but when it came to meeting I always convinced myself I had a reason not to go. It passes, hopefully with the odd message exchange to keep things alive he may feel different soon. Don't put your life on the back burner but don't give up on him yet!

there's something 'legal' going on. he's not able to talk about it, but it will be keeping him occupied.

there's dv in his past (he being the victim) so I have a feeling it's related to that in some way.

we've agreed to keep things light, will meet for coffee/drink/meal etc at some point soon. I don't want to 'lose' him, and he doesn't want to 'lose' me either, but he can't just dive in right now.

we may meet and there's nothing there, but in that case we'll see if there's enough common ground to stay friends anyway. we both think there very well might be. I just don't want to write it off before we've even met.

I don't think he can fuck me up tbh, I know when to leave if stuff's unhealthy. i'm not scared about that side of things. i'm bulletproof where that kind of stuff is concerned. I can make the difficult decisions if I need to.

sounds promising Oxy fingers crossed!

half italian with what? english? if it's venezuelan/colombian... RUN

joking, but... am i!?

Lol Hissy - half english/Italian and local.

Early days but it was a mutual good date which is always the concern.

keep us posted oxy

all your dates sound a mixture of fun and a bit strange. jesy if someone mentions bi polar (I think?) run for the hills!

so far I've had a quiet weekend but dinner with friends.

One of them AFAIK apart from a few flirtations hasn't had a proper relationship (unless she's keeping it v quiet) since she was 30 (now 42), she is Catholic and a bit straitlaced though.

The other has an on off SO who does awful things like goes off and leaves her at festivals, always wants her to text him etc, and she's not over him.

The 3rd woman was a 26 year old Parisien who was in a relationship but obviously not jaded like us lot!

Hissy I'm m3 way... !!

I have Run , he was ok but lack of eye contact not good

ooh dipping me too!

Well we def have a poor selection hissy

Well this bloke off pof who chatted to for about two weeks asked me for a coffee today.
Did the pre date check as his profile a bit vague so check ed fB lol seems genuine enough but we'll see.
I'll call him Mr V

Hi everyone! I haven't checked in for a while as I've been having issues with the ex.

Welcome to the thread Oxy - those stories were very entertaining! Nice to see things from a man's point of view too.
Jesy - Mr V sounds promising! I always Google people before I meet up with them - glad his facebook looks genuine! As for the bi polar guy - wtf? Everyone's a psychologist these days sounds like you're well shot of him! Onwards and upwards!

Hissy - it's a shame that you didn't meet your guy under different circumstances but it sounds as though he's interested but aware that he has other stuff going on. I actually think it's positive that he has told you about this and didn't rush into something only to change his mind later on when things got too much.

Wrap Dress - sorry you've had some bad news. I hope it's all sorted out for you soon.

An (epic) update from me: I've been on about 6 dates with Mr Tall who I met on POF.
We're in quite a lot of contact in between as well but both very open about things.
He's very emotionally intelligent which is a massive plus for me.
We're both in similar circumstances (abusive ex, in therapy, I've been split up properly for only 6 months; him just over a year) which would probably worry me ordinarily but things are just so easy with him.
Same humour, similar views on things including parenting (we both have young DC) No mind games, open discussions about things, including worries.
He's really patient (my ex was 2 hours late to collect the children and he went and got a coffee and just waited for me saying he didn't want to add to the pressure I was under and if I couldn't make it then we'd reschedule)
We've also bumped into people he knows while we've been out and they've all been lovely and spoke highly of him and he had no qualms about introducing me, which is the opposite of my last relationship where I never met his friends.
Had a great date at the weekend, with lots of chatting and snogging and as I'm on annual leave this week he's taken Wednesday off work and we're going to meet up. All very promising!
We've both taken our profiles off POF and and he spoke about me becoming his 'girlfriend' at the weekend so we'll see what develops.
We haven't DTD yet and we've both agreed to take it slowly (I haven't had sex for years and he's only had sex once since splitting up with his ex). I really fancy him though and would happily jump into bed with him now, but that's the sort of thing that's not worked for me in the past so I'm happy to wait!
Does this all sound ok? I sometimes wonder if my boundaries are set properly because my relationship with my ex was so awful.

oh god dippin I have just pm'd you, but it seems to have got stuck and sent a gazzilion times. sorry!

Lol hissy I got it (them) , I sent one reply ;-) I'm the next junction to you !!!

Surf that all sounds good to me. As you are only 6 months out of a relationship I would take it very slowly. You need to find yourself independently.

As for me well Mr Actor and I have had many coffee dates now, a few dinners. Yesterday day afternoon he joined me and some friends at a pub for a few drinks. He then came back to mine for dinner and a film. A lot of laughs, much talking, a hand on my knee, a little kiss at the end of the evening. Slowly, slowly for me and him. He makes me laugh and I feel very easy with him - don't want to blow a friendship if a relationship is not going to work. I know that I am in a vulnerable place after losing my son and he seems to be happy to take it nice and slowly, even if it never develops more. All the angst seems to have gone, what will be, will be etc.