New name, new game, less stress, more progress! (Thanks to Rottie!)

[thenamehaschanged]

Here goes - thread 4 and definitely the last one now, sheesh!!

Who knew instigating divorce could be so bloody long winded!!

My last thread was 'It isn't Work Stress, it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H!'

Rottweiler solicitor (Rottie) and a non molestation order on Tuesday yippee!!

You are doing great Name by 'eck though, he's going to go stratospheric when he gets that email!

Haha, brilliant Pond thank you!!

Yes I'm going to drive so will take all important, valuable stuff which basically means a few ID certificates, some photos and the hamsters. I don't own anything valuable thanks to 11 chaotic years married to twatchops - whoops hang on, there are the kids I guess!!

Pink, I don't know about the police, I don't think she's officially typed up my statement yet - I think they assessed me as such low risk because they're just looking for real, proper violence that I've been put to the bottom of the pile. I will still update her though and tell her what I'll be up to next week. I have a crime number after all.

Forgot as well, Rottie wants me to get 3 valuations of the house fairly sharpish, a mortgage redemption statement and I need to get back out to work because I'm going to need to state soon what exact mortgage I would be able to raise independently - which wouldn't even get me garage space where I live so therefore she can go after H for more.

Quite handy then that my temp agency called to let me know all checks have been cleared on me and I'm now ready to get out to work for them after half term!

Lol at stratospheric Dinnae!! Yep think so too

(How's things with you by the way, has your DH had his op yet?)

Brilliant news, name and not least how wonderful it made you feel! You deserve the wonderful - it's been a long time coming.

Oh Name, well done you. This is the first time I've had chance to post in ages, but I've been cheering you on from afar. This is the beginning of your happy ever after, but please, please watch your step. I don't believe for a moment that he's going to roll over and go along with everything your amazing-sounding Rottie suggests. He's shown suggestions of what he could be capable of and I worry that he'll want to fight back in whatever twisted ways he can.

So proud of you, just picture that safe, warm and twatchops-free home for you and your girls... you're so close now. Amazing stuff.

Excellent news Name - Rottie sounds fab! Just 3 more days....

stay safe.

That's excellent news and the half term timing is great.

Prepare yourself for the suicide threats again. It would be best if there is no way at all for him to contact you. Imagine if you are out with the girls and he rings your mum saying he is going to kill himself... or imagine his brother, or a mutual friend, rings you (or your mum) saying he was talking about killing himself and has now gone missing and his phone is off...

Alternatively (or additionally) he will end up in hospital with a faked suspected heart attack, or gastrointestinal problems, or suspected cancer...

This WILL happen so it's best that you have a plan for dealing with it.

Do the girls have mobiles or are they too young for that? What would happen if he rang your mum's and one of them answered? What if DD1 decided to ring him? (I seem to recall that she did that once and told him about a cracked ipad or something like that.) Just try to think of all eventualities and prepare for them.

Make sure you take anything precious with you (e.g. photographs, nice clothes, jewellery) as I wouldn't put it past him to trash the place and your stuff in your absence.

When the seven days is up, see if you can get the locks changed BEFORE you move back to the house.

Thank you Pedant

Hey Ears! Thank you! Yes I am really happy with today but definitely cautious as well. I think what was resounding from Rottie was that it's fine for me to leave my home if I don't feel safe. I will happily call the police if he turns up now, they're already aware of me and PO did say my address automatically gets dealt with quicker if I call because of the domestic dispute already logged, I'm also happy to go to a refuge if there is a trail of evidence behind me of Rottie warning him to fuck off.

Just feel so much more assured. Sol 1 made me feel so insecure and unsupported, which I was.

Thanks Bobtail!

Ooh good tips Mitzi thanks.

The girls don't have phones, but they definitely won't ask to phone him over half term - yes the cracked iPad saga haha, that was DD1 playing around with the landline, pressed redial and got H so it wasn't that she'd deliberately phoned him per se - Christ that was months ago now haha!! Shows how long I've been knocking about here wasting all your time!

I think if hadn't been here before with the serving of the papers, then I'd be more nervous. I am going to block contact from anyone connected to H - his sister's on my FB so will avoid that too. He can threaten suicide all he likes then, it won't get through to me.

I'll talk to Rottie about changing the locks as obviously Sol 1 was a flat 'No' when I mentioned it to her.

Thanks Nettle - no brother haha, just me, myself and I

Name, you're an inspiration. Look at how far you've come in the last few weeks. You sound so strong and positive. It warms my cockles.

Thepolice may have assessed you as low risk before, but with Rottie's email and what it contains and Twatchops past history, I'd think that would raise your risk rate at least for awhile.

Hey, just occurred to me; Your divorce is going to be 'Rottie vs Twatty'. I'd buy a ticket to that match!

What's happening about the decree nisi name? I thought I read that it was ready this week?

I'm delighted to hear that there is real progress name, but don't be surprised if you crash/slump dramatically over the weekend. You've been running on adrenaline and at a heightened state of alert for such a long time now that when it is no longer needed, your body will suffer physical withdrawal symptoms. It is easy to mistake this feeling of withdrawal for regret but you know you are doing the right thing and knowing the crash is likely to come May help you avoid the worst parts of it.

I've just finished a short relationship with a man who is about 3 years down the line from your ex. He said he had had a lot of counselling for his marriage breakdown but I soon realised he really wasn't over it. I am posting because he was spouting the same crap as your ex about his ex wife (who he never stopped talking about as he was so hurt by the 'storm she bought down on him' by leaving him) and the fact she had left because she had started reading up on Wimmins Rights and had got 'ideas'. He is still so angered by it 3 years later it crops up in 90% of his conversations - she had the audacity to leave! is what I think is still going around in his head. The more he went on the more I saw how he had controlled every aspect of her life for 14 years. I was cheering her on when I ended it - what a strong woman to leave after that length of conditioning and control! He still can't see why she left and says deluded things like "If you can show me she is happier now than she was with me then I will give you my house!" - erm, I can because she didn't come running back, you twot.

You will win in the end OP

phew, glad everything is falling into place for you. And not a moment too soon. Just wanted to add, your parents can call BT and get his mobile and your home number blocked to their landline. Not sure if it is possible on mobiles but unless they know who is calling them I would leave all other calls to go to voicemail (and sometimes when they are enraged twatchoppish folk leave vile messages so the Police can listen to them too!!). Get yourself a pay as you go sim and use that on your phone (or just a new number anyway, new start and all that). You could just put your original sim into an old phone so again he can leave incriminating messages / texts etc.

make sure you take all your passports, birth certificates with you (or post them to your parents special delivery tomorrow) and other ID, marriage certificate can be posted to go to your solicitor if she doesn't already have and maybe even set up yourself a redirect mail with the PO in your name, although unfortunately does take a week to get into place (and remember they will post you your details of forwarding address so if you were already gone and he opens it he will know where you are).

Hope you have internet access at your parents, and most of all remember I'm sure they are lots of others out there that will take strength from your actions and honesty and stand up for themselves.

Well done that girl, if we ever meet in RL I'll be more than happy to buy you a drink

Brilliant fantastic news! I think we all want Rotty behind us!

Would your parents block calls from him, do you think? Then they wouldn't even answer by mistake.

Roll on Friday!

Well done Name ! So glad you've got a safe place to go to this week and can bunker down where you don't have to hear the huffing and puffing and tantrums. A week of peace and quiet and no one staring at you from an inch away when you open your eyes, or any of the other crap

Have you mentioned to you solicitor she is the pin up girl of MN?

Emails from him can go into a sub-folder which you don't even have to open. It's easy enough to set up a filter/rule on your mail client or whatever it's called, but the people over in Geeky Stuff will be able to sort you out if you need help (suggest your parents do it too). Also block everyone to do with him on FB and any other social media sites you are on.

He is likely to claim serious illness at some point. Ignore.

Good work Name, and Ms Rottie! :)

Yay! Great news, keep going petal, nearly done!

Great progress Name, keep yourself and the girls safe.

been watching all day and only now able to post Name . Not too much work was done.
Can't believe you are coming to an end of this saga but this will be the beginning of a brand new twat free life for you and your DD's. You will just have to keep your DM and DF in check.
There HAS to be a new thread-life after H, the romancing of the plumber and the continued emergence of your fabulosity -keeping the till Friday night

Wow, Limb, he sounds like a fun date

Instead of redirecting your post why not set up a Keepsafe for the week or two you will be away. Royal Mail just don't deliver for the duration and redeliver the lot on the date specified.