New name, new game, less stress, more progress! (Thanks to Rottie!)

[thenamehaschanged]

Here goes - thread 4 and definitely the last one now, sheesh!!

Who knew instigating divorce could be so bloody long winded!!

My last thread was 'It isn't Work Stress, it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H!'

Rottweiler solicitor (Rottie) and a non molestation order on Tuesday yippee!!

Thinking of you today name and hoping all goes well

Good luck for today Name. So glad your Dad is coming with you.

Thanks so much everyone thanks for the smoking reassurance Zazzles

I emailed Rottie this morning saying I want H to be told to cancel this Alarm(ing) appointment but she's not in til 1.

That's fine - we're just going to have lunch here at my parents and will set off shortly after.

I'm half expecting to find a letter from H at home. Dunno. Just a thought but I shan't be reading it if there is one.

Will update you when I'm back - lots of love

Good Luck with going home snd the no smoking Name. Sadly I would prepare yourself to expect that he may have left you further confirmation of how much of a twat he can be, either with what he's taken or what he leaves behind.
Good luck too with the no smoking - that was the old, stressed, married you that needed to smoke, not the super strong single woman we know!

Aw thanks hilly

I know he doesn't have the technical ability but he does have an nasty evil mind. Would he pay someone to do his dirty work and leave surveillance apparatus behind?

Hope it goes well

A safe journey to you all. Don't worry about what you'll find at home. The main thing is that HE won't be there!

If he leaves any letters for you, I'd take them straight to Rottie. Let her read them for you.

Wishing you good luck today and a safe journey name.

I'm half expecting to find a letter from H at home. Dunno. Just a thought but I shan't be reading it if there is one.

No don't! I got all that - letters, cards etc. coming through the post with CDs enclosed presumably full of soppy songs and shit - I dunno, because I never opened them to find out. I just lobbed the whole jiffy bag/envelope into the bin unopened. Same with emails other than those coming via the 'official' email address. Deleted unread. And even the 'officia'l ones - first sentence in you can tell where they are going and if he started to go 'off topic' as it were, I stopped reading and deleted.

If he wants to convey any information of any importance to you, logistical, financial etc. he can do it via your solicitor and she, in turn, can convey it to you. Anything else is going to be personal heart tugging angst ridden stuff or angry accusatory stuff - but the sort of thing you do not want to be reading because it is just another way of getting at you. If he can't see you face to face. If you won't have a phone conversation, then they resort to the 'letter' either paper ones or electronic ones. Don't read under any circumstances.

Yeah, I got loads of heartfelt emotional manipulation via letter when I dumped my ex-fiancee. I couldn't quite throw them away at the time - opened, brief scan, then chuck in box under bed. I shouldn't have opened them at all really, they were like being kicked in the face emotionally.

Put them in a bag and IGNORE (or forward on to Rottie)

Good luck this afternoon. I shall be thinking of you.

Good luck for returning home name.

Just one thing - make sure you update the school on the situation. Its more critical than ever than they are aware of things a) so they can help the girls if they start to get upset or ask questions at school and b) in case he turns up to collect them.

Thinking of you and your girls today xx

good luck today xxx

Hoping that today has gone OK?

High hopes for a positive update. Hope you're doing ok x

Oh thanks everyone, great advice and support as always

Right - we're home, he's completely moved out, the alarm hasn't been touched so fuck knows what that was all about and there's no hand written sobby letter or anything so hoorah on that front.

But Rottie has forwarded me his solicitors letter - bloody hell has he laid it on thick!! He accepts he's abusive, he has taken paid leave from work to work on himself, he's going to leave me totally alone for now but desperately wants to reconcile etc etc it was 2 pages of guff quite frankly. rottie's covering letter to me was 'here's his sol's letter for consideration - let me know if you want me to continue proceeds with applying to court for financial separation'

Err...yes!!!!

Feeling a lot happier today anyway

It is sort of tragic but I can't help laughing, am I bad?

Bit of a moron really, accepting he was abusive, as there is no comeback from that and makes it very easy for you to divorce him, and to stipulate contact with the girls through a contact centre etc.

Great for you though, should make things loads simpler!

yeah thank g-d. I have been watching for updates. my dh helpfully said "he'll either slink away like a worm or watch the news" not helpful. but lots of pom pom waving

Relieved you are back home without incident. I agree with Ilovefluffysheep wrt his statement.

Onwards and upwards now. Keep your head screwed on, and be prepared for highs and lows plus waxing and waning of adrenaline. You are going to feel as if you are in a wringer occasionally.

Sounds good on the face of it but be on your guard.

No one abuses someone for years then gives up and accepts it at the first sign of legal support for the victim.

Glad you are home without incident Name. Agree with itsfab Just keep an eye out for any future dirty tricks from him.

So glad to hear this, name!

How are you feeling? How are DDs? Hamsters?