New name, new game, less stress, more progress! (Thanks to Rottie!)

[thenamehaschanged]

Here goes - thread 4 and definitely the last one now, sheesh!!

Who knew instigating divorce could be so bloody long winded!!

My last thread was 'It isn't Work Stress, it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H!'

Rottweiler solicitor (Rottie) and a non molestation order on Tuesday yippee!!

I hope he isn't reading this but I'm also a bit concerned that people sharing their worst possible scenarios is not necessarily helpful & may add to name's anxieties
Btw the parents are hrs away so not feasible for father to go check today - & even if H was out its not conclusive anyway.

Name, don't waste a Sunday of twatfree peace and enjoyment on fretting on the might be's - hope you've got something lovely planned with the girls today, with no need for handing twatbadger any headspace. It's not like he deserves it!

Thanks everyone! Right I'm going to phone Rottie first thing tomorrow and tell her to tell him to fuck off. Then I'll be getting home tomorrow afternoon with my Dad - he's going to stay a couple of days and then I really just want to start getting on with my single life.

In all the time I was still with him I thought there was just absolutely no way he was reading this - but with him being out of the house now and possibly more obsessive then I still doubt it but it could be a possibility I suppose. It would have to take a lot of reading through different posts for him and even then he wouldn't assume I would start a thread, or understand what Rottie or H is - so I think I'm ok but may have to be a bit more careful maybe.

Thanks Rumble - not sure what to do with them today - weather's gone a bit crap and I did an indoor play centre yesterday haha! (think we're starting to outstay our welcome a bit now and I just want my independence to start!)

Love to you all

Good luck for tomorrow; will be thinking of you.

Even if he did discover this and previous threads - it's a bit late in the day now. What the threads do beautifully is catalogue his appalling behaviour and your deep unhappiness. Difficult to see how any of it could be of benefit to him/his legal representative?

I suppose writing about your 'intentions' before you've carried them out is perhaps something to be a little wary of, but to be honest ... I don't see how discovering the thread now would make any difference.

Maybe that's me being naive, I dunno but what would he gain from discovering them?

Thanks Mitzi - yeah Font I think you're right - what can he do now!

The burglar alarm business worries me so I'm glad you're cancelling that. It could be a way for him to get you back into the house that day when you weren't otherwise planning to be there. I don't trust his motives at all.

I assume there is still no evidence that he has complied and moved out? Time will tell tomorrow, I guess. The burglar alarm business is definitely part of a game. No doubt by the time you speak to Rottie and she speaks to him, it will be 'too late', and he will be in possession of the code. However, there's no need for him to attend the property to give you the code back.

I would bet that if you get the code reset, he will have an agreement with the alarm people that he will be informed of the new code, as he paid for it. If it is too late to cancel it, then you need to find out exactly what rights he has over the bl**dy alarm. Another one v. suspicious of his motives here.

I would also bet that he has taken the day off work tomorrow, and will be staking out the house so that if your dad drives past, he will be able to follow him home and start to pester you. Not wanting to panic you, but just to flag it up. Good job you have Rottie on your side!

Best of luck this week.

Thanks guys - really appreciate it - it's definitely bugged me this bloody alarm, honestly how dare he!

I've just updated my PO as well - she's told me that my statement is ready to sign so who knows they may want to talk to him as well I'll go and see her on Tuesday afternoon I think, after the Freedom Programme - bless them all there by the way, I've had a couple of texts of support - I've missed 2 weeks of it with all my shenanigans so I'm looking forward to getting back in. Think it ends at the end of November.

I've ordered nicotine patches - the smoking is going to stop - I'm not stressed out and needing to hide out in the garden anymore, plus I can't afford it anyway!!

I'm going to focus on getting happy and healthy, looking better and being a great mum. Not some bedraggled, stressed out smoky zombie which is what my girls may think of me at times!

Thank you everyone

I think that was the aim Name. Try doing the opposite of what you think he would expect. It's enlightening.

Thinking of you, don't forget if writing on here helps KOKO it looks like it will be a long haul

Thinking of you, Name. Have you tried the patches before? If you don't find them helpful - life is very stressful for you right now - have you thought about vaping at first, and then patches when your life has settled down a bit more?

Congratulations on making the decision to get healthier. Be wary of setting yourself too many targets at once though; be easy on yourself and be kind to yourself for the moment.

I'm glad you want to stop smoking. I've lost too many loved ones to smoking related deaths. But, and I never thought I'd say this, don't take on too much at once. If it makes you feel stronger to battle that demon now, ok go for it. But don't add to the stress. If it becomes too much, don't feel bad about postponing that particular battle.

aw - thank you everyone you're lovely, you really are

I've taken a bit of an emotional dip tonight - not in anyway missing him at all but more of just thinking what I've been through with him. I'm anxious too and can feel it gnawing at me a little bit, even though I'm on preventative meds. I just feel a bit low and a bit shaky.

You're right, don't set myself too many goals at once, but the kids have mentioned the smoking and I've promised them I will stop it and was only doing it because I was a bit stressed at the moment. I've never used patches before - I just figured it would help because I've not smoked in years, only occasionally when socialising if someone else was, so thankfully (I think) it isn't a hardened habit just yet. We'll see.

Thank you though

Name been a bit preoccupied this week with half term and I've a job interview tomorrow so I've missed chunks. Just caught up. But first things first you're human you've been through hell with twatty and you've escaped, you're allowed to feel a bit down, I imagine it's like an adrenaline rush keeping goin to get out then slump you're out.

Take it easy one step at a time. First thing is to stop the alarm man that's definitely dodgy. Speak to rottie ASAP In the morning. Do you have a neighbour you can call to ask them to tell the workmen not to go ahead until it's been cleared by your lawyer?

I think you are right not speaking to his sister. Anything you say will get right back. Keep safe.

I guess you are planning for yr dad to go with you on school runs while he is there? Just in case H thinks it's okay to meet you if not at the house...

Good luck today name .

Best of luck

Good luck

Good luck with quitting smoking Name. I am in healthcare, and my understanding is that it takes most smokers 6-7 attempts before they quit for good. It took me a year (which I think is short, as I had downgraded to 1mg ciggies) of going back and forth between smoking and not smoking, before I finally quit for good. So don't be too hard on yourself if you find yourself going back and forth as well - its all a process like much of life .

In regards, to the emotions, its really been a roller-coaster, hasn't it? Which is to be expected, really. There may be a time when you may feel like grieving the relationship as well, and MN will be here to hold you hand when you are ready for that.

KOKO, you are FREE! That's the most important thing

Wishing you all the best for today

Since you don't need to nip out into the garden any more e.g. to go on MN perhaps giving up smoking will be a bit easier than you thought :)

Good luck today!