New name, new game, less stress, more progress! (Thanks to Rottie!)

[thenamehaschanged]

Here goes - thread 4 and definitely the last one now, sheesh!!

Who knew instigating divorce could be so bloody long winded!!

My last thread was 'It isn't Work Stress, it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H!'

Rottweiler solicitor (Rottie) and a non molestation order on Tuesday yippee!!

Oh and name, just imagine the party you'll have when you're shot of him. Shall we start planning it?

I'm picturing your dress: it's knitted, and has pockets for hamsters.

Haha, loving your energy!

Hope all goes well today

Spectacularly overdressed
Reminder to all wedding dress makers and manufacturers.....make pockets (two) for hamsters. They need separate pockets as they can't be kept together (apart from the Syrian ones I think? Or is it the Russian ones?- someone will come on to this thread and put me right) Knitted wedding dresses must have pockets knitted with finer needles so the little hammy feet can't poke through the holes.
Name if nothing else has come from your originally posting on MN at least instead of being stressed about your ExDH moving out, you have a head filled with Christmas hats for hamsters as well as some farmyard animals and gilets for felines, the dental requirements of Degus and pompoms. It's all good!

Haha absolutely Dinnae!!

Yeah good idea Upwith!

Thanks everyone

Hi name

I cannot help but think he is panicking, I'm still of the mind that the rent money for his sister is a ruse and he's been stashing it or keeping up another residence somewhere. His mental state must be fecked, and only someone who is trying to juggle so many secret balls would be so erratic like this, especially with not wanting you to rock the boat.

His acquiescing to the solicitors demands smacks of his panic about his secrets being found out, I would gird your loins for some major reveals lovely it's show time

Love to you and the hammies

Thanks Guilty - show time! yeah you could be right - I don't really know the man after all so God knows what's going to be revealed in the coming weeks! Hammies are feeling the love thanks haha!

Still - I haven't heard his voice for 10 days now which is good - I'm looking forward to getting back home although Rottie emailed late last night and said name please don't change the locks - I thought her saying please was a bit odd?

Anyway coz the girls had a bit of a crap Halloween we're doing fireworks and hotdogs tonight

How will you know he has left the house?
If you have lost your keys how will you get in if you can't change the locks?
Perhaps you should stay at your parents until you can speak to Rottie.

Don't change the locks - legally he could challenge it. But leave the key in and turned. Or put an extra bolt on the inside for security.

Oh and if he turns up and makes a fuss because he can't get it - call the police.

Feck is right. Rottie just wants to be sure that nothing is done that might be challenged or used to undermine you.

Is there anyone in town that you can call to do a 'drive by' today and see if there are signs of him leaving? Is your dad still going home with you? I think it's a good idea. I don't think Twatsy is a threat, but I also think that HE would think that showing up to 'talk' to you beg for another chance wouldn't be in violation of his agreement to leave. After all, he's doing it to 'save the marriage'.

Interesting to me about leaving the keys in. Double key locks are illegal where I live. The inside must be a turn-knob or automatic release. I had to have a key welded into the inside of a deadbolt years ago when the law changed. Had to do with people being trapped inside during a fire or a break-in who could have gotten out safely but couldn't find the key in time. Oddly enough, it never occurred to me that might happen or to leave the key in the lock to prevent that. Guess that's why they had to make it a law!

Hmmmm, in rl if you've lost the keys then you change the locks. If you can't change the front door lock (some special security thing) then you keep it barred on the inside and use the back door but, as you tend to lose back door keys at the same time as front door keys (because they're on the same key ring aren't they?) then you change the back door lock. Have you mentioned changing the lock to Rottie. If you haven't, then you will have to tell her on Monday that your younger dd had a strop or something while feeding the ducks and threw your keys in the river/pond/lake/sea and then discuss........

I do know of people who have used the back door for months after a break up in similar circumstances. Is that at all feasible?

How on earth is he going to manage? He doesn't seem able to organise a piss up in a brewery. He needs to pack stuff, and get it into a vehicle. Can he manage that without you finding out about it for him?

Yes think you're right about changing the locks being challengeable but also if I lost my keys then what choice would I have? Hmm.

2 developments today - Rottie emailed me this afternoon to say that she is going to send me over copies of H's solicitors letters on Monday but wanted to bring it to my attention that in the letter it says H has arranged for the burglar alarm to be fixed on Monday? So I went back with eek! Does that mean he's planning to go to the house for this appointment? - then I thought Ah, is the letter just alerting me to this because he's not going to be there? So I went back to Rottie with another email saying this - but she hasn't come back to me.

And then H's sister has made contact with me through FB saying she loves me and hopes I'm ok and is here for a chat if I need

Oh I know Jux! It's a struggle for him to wipe his arse, I certainly know it's a struggle for him to remember to flush!

... but if a burglar alarm is fitted and you don't have the code then you can't go home without it being set off, surely.

And perhaps remember the tip I left way back - if it's a yale type key left on the inside, make sure the flat end is horizontal. If it's vertical it can be pushed out by someone the other side inserting theirs..... I learned this sort of in reverse from a 93yr old who broke her hip at home and her daughter couldn't use her key to get in!

What's he doing having a burglar alarm fitted anyway if he's supposed to have left? Or was it pre-ordained and his efficiency is showing haha?

Did the sister mention her rent not being paid? >evil cackle

Speak to Rottie about declining g entry to the fitter. I see this as another way for him to assert his presence over you even when he's not there.

To stop name getting back into the house without him knowing/having to come round to stop it ringing!

No pun intended, name, your alarm bells should be ringing at this.

It's an existing burglar alarm that's dud that he was banging on about getting working again - so I would be given the code by the fitter bloke, but still, when so much is beyond him, wtf?

Lol at his sisters rent

I think you need to put the kibosh on the alarm fixing. Were you aware of anything wrong with the alarm?

I would suspect someone putting in a CCTV camera or listening device but maybe that's too paranoid. It is certainly a gesture that affirms his control over the house.

Also wondering about the sister's rent thing. Even if he kept half of those monthly payments for himself, that would be a nice nest egg. I would be asking for proof of what her rent is and taking a look at her bank statements or asking her LL where the cheques come from.

x post. I would still stop it.

I would be concerned that he may set himself up as the contact if the alarm goes off, and that would mean he would legitimately have to come and switch it off, so would try to get that job cancelled and say that you will arrange the work to be done.