New name, new game, less stress, more progress! (Thanks to Rottie!)

[thenamehaschanged]

Here goes - thread 4 and definitely the last one now, sheesh!!

Who knew instigating divorce could be so bloody long winded!!

My last thread was 'It isn't Work Stress, it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H!'

Rottweiler solicitor (Rottie) and a non molestation order on Tuesday yippee!!

Hamsters doing great by the way!! I love how when I was planning my escape from abuse last week - this thread turned into caring for small animals, degu's teeth and guinea pigs in Tupperware boxes

DD2 has just asked if we can get Christmas hats for the hamsters lol!

I can knit you some if you like name - not sure how they'll stay on though!

Here , like this? (Dm link, sorry).

I have been keeping my DH up to date with your story Name. (Also has a 2:1 but never boasts about it as he says he should have done better!)
He says your STBX has no one to blame but himself. He has had plenty of chances to change and keep his family. All the devastation with the sol is game playing. If he is serious it may help with another relationship but way too late for you.
Don't even think about answering the bank text. He will have to learn about basic banking. Our experience with a friend's divorce is that the financial settlement can take a long time and be costly if he does't/can't co-operate. Be safe at the WE.

Oh thanks for that Persephone - really good to have a bit of sane male logic from your DH, and he's absolutely right, H has had chance after chance, I've actually felt a little teary this morning about everything I've been through with him...but after seeing your link Jux I've cheered right up haha - thanks I'll show it the DD's later, they're out with my parents at the moment!

And thanks for the offer Zombie haha!

I went back and read a few pages of your original thread name. I should be working (self-employed) but I'm on a skive at the minute, can't seem to get going and have been faffing around online all morning.

He has had so many opportunities and chances .. but the way he has treated you on so many occasions and instances is just appalling. The tears really don't ring true at all when you see what an utter bastard he was/is. Some of the stuff you told us is toe curling and he's got absolutely no-one to blame here but himself. When he came back last time he was full of it, promising to change, read the book, blah blah blah but it didn't take him long to revert back to type did it?

So harden your heart and don't waver in your resolve.

Forntella's right. Leopards don't change their spots ... (or is it tigers don't change their stripes?) Whatever! He will now, according to The Script that ALL the ghastly buggers follow, promise you the earth, the stars, the moon, blah blah bloody blah. As if!

OP is a shining inspiration to us all. Wish MN had been around in the 1970s/80s, 'cos I'd sure as hell been inspired to take a better path than put up with a vile Turd (chronically unfaithful, including with my 'best' friend, emotionally and financially abusive) for 20 sodding years!

OP has provided a Master Class on how to do it. I reckon, when the dust has settled and she's happily divorced, with maybe a Greg the Plumber or Dick the Electrician (I know a Dick the Electrician - not carnally, I hasten to add, but he's rewired me most satisfactorily ) OP could write a brilliant book about her experiences.

My DD is now in her mid 30's and I left an abusive marriage with her when she was 4. Recently she has told me how important that experience was to her in avoiding bad relationships with her various partners. She is now married to a decent man.

thenamehaschanged your DDs will be very grateful to you in the future for doing what you have done. It will give them strength to avoid bad relationships in their future.

Onwards and Upwards ................

That was lovely Kyoto, thank you

Yes Font thanks so much for that - he really has had chance after chance - this whole thing has not been out of the blue at all I've been trying to end it for years and I just could not get rid of him by myself. Actually I was watching a Prog last night about Holloway prison and they talked about Ruth Ellis, the last woman to be hung in Britain for shooting dead her abusive husband. She had no choice, it was her or him and she knew she couldn't get him out of her life any other way

Times really have moved on now thankfully!

Oh Oldgrandmama - do you know H wants to write books - in fact I held him back from it apparently by not 'finding out for him how to get into books' - it would be the sweetest revenge ever if I became a published author next year! snort!

name your sweetest revenge is going to be living a good life without him!

You can put me down now for a signed copy name

I once made Christmas hats for three chickens.

Twatchops is free to follow his dream now name, very generous of you!

Ooh, yes, name, you must must MUST write a book - a wonderful idea, especially now we know about Turd's literary ambitions. But how very DARE you not 'find out how to get into books' - you dreadful wife you!!!!!

What a plonker he is.

I have knitted coats for cats (poorly pussies who needed extra warmth). My 'Wasp' model was very popular. Tried to post a pic. here but it won't work for some reason. I do like the idea of a tiny bonnet for a hamster, though the hamster might not be too enthusiastic.

Hurray!

Just hurray!!

'Not find out for him how to get into books' that is so funny! I am actually chortling away out loud at that. Oh, you couldn't make it up, could you?!

Oh I do hope he puts that down in writing somewhere. Evidence of how unreasonable you are and how much he's had to suffer. Something nice and official for the Court.

DD2 has just asked if we can get Christmas hats for the hamsters

I once made Christmas hats for three chickens.

I have knitted coats for cats

I am imagining all these animals in their various bits of clothing

And yes Name, how very dare you not research book writing and publishing so that he could get onto it! Good grief, he is just so, so entitled, isn't he???

A properly supportive wife would have written it for him too.

So, you have stopped him from being a best selling author. How could you!!

He can now be author of his own destiny. More importantly, you can be author of yours.

in fact I held him back from it apparently by not 'finding out for him how to get into books'

Hahahaaa - roaring with laughter here at this and the subsequent replies.

Step one: write a book.

Step two: I'll get back to you after you've completed step one.

Oh hilarious everyone haha!! Love it thank you!! - honestly the amount of SHITE I have listened to and tried to reason with over the years!! Jesus Christ! To think I went and got spectacularly overdressed one morning, marched into a church and bloody signed my life over to this fucking Bozo is beyond baffling now!! I even threw a party afterwards and invited everyone I knew to come and see what I'd just gone and done aaaarrrrgghhh!! I must have been smoking crack or something.

Oh well anyway it's H's moving out day today so I guess I can console myself with that haha! Actually, all I can think about is chickens and hamsters in various knitted Christmas hats and cats in wasp design cardigans - that's what I'll tell H one day if he ever asks what I was thinking when he finally moved out. Ah, no I probably won't because I don't ever have to speak to him about anything un child related ever again!!

Anyway, love to you all, there aren't enough thank yous I can say really for how you have all held me up and kept me sane!! Honestly.

2-4-6-8
Today it Twatchop's moving date!
3-5-7-9
He couldn't even write a line!

Gooooooo TWATCHOPS!
(no, really, just fucking go, will ya?)

Hahaha love it