New name, new game, less stress, more progress! (Thanks to Rottie!)

[thenamehaschanged]

Here goes - thread 4 and definitely the last one now, sheesh!!

Who knew instigating divorce could be so bloody long winded!!

My last thread was 'It isn't Work Stress, it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H!'

Rottweiler solicitor (Rottie) and a non molestation order on Tuesday yippee!!

Ahh thanks haha!

Well - I spoke to Rottie.....H has instructed a solicitor, his solicitor said to Rottie that she had never seen a more broken man, he's devastated, he's going to go on an abusers programme and get counselling, and most important of all, he is going to move out on Saturday!!!!

Woohoo!!

I'm also for you!
Let's hope he sticks to that plan.

his solicitor said to Rottie that she had never seen a more broken man, he's devastated, he's going to go on an abusers programme and get counselling He's devastated that his arsenal of behaviour had not worked on you any more, and you go running back to him.

Good luck and I hope he doesn't create to much trouble when you and your girls are back home.

Yes but it's all fake crying and shit isn't it? He's putting on a show to get them on his side - which they are anyway as it is his Sol!

Oh for crying out loud!!! And the Oscar goes to.....'Twatchops'!!
Wonder how long that little act will last?!
KOKO Name!!

A most heart-rending performance I am sure , maybe an Oscar contender...

He is still angling to get you back and his solicitor has no business passing on impressions like that to Rotty unless accompanied by wry shaking of the head, and I hope Rotty gave you the impression she thinks it is a heap of hooey.

He is playing nice only because he sees an advantage to himself in doing so. Watch out for child custody and visitation demands.

Hooray!! So broken that he managed a £70 takeaway on Friday night, and has disappeared off abroad with work (think if I was that devastated I wouldn't be capable of working and would probably phoned in sick).

Anyway, moving out is great news, is his solicitor going to confirm to Rottie when he has done it?

Make sure you get those locks changed asap, I would also consider changing your landline number and mobile number. Any communication he needs to do can be through his solicitor.

Brilliant result!
Role on the weekend :)

How much do you think that conversation went "tell her solicitor I'm a broken man, will ya?" Rather than sobbing...

Lol true about the Chinese. I'm sure he was mopping his tears with his duck pancakes, lol!

I mean, was there ever a man who had more warning?! FFS name has been telling him for yeeeaaaars she wanted out! Papers were filed a month ago!

He couldn't have been warned more if she had hired a plane to write it in the sky!

Oh I know Mathanxiety - yes Rottie was definitely and so was I - I said that's fine he can do all that for his next victim partner.

Oh absolutely Fluffy and everyone, thank you - my mum was like 'too little too late'

Lol AnnaRose! Exactly!!

Fluffy yes his solicitor asked if Rottie was going to go ahead with the orders and Rottie said not unless he doesn't move out - and so she said he has agreed to move out on Saturday and that it would be vacant possession.

And then once his sol tells Rottie where he's living, we can then arrange contact with the children and I'm pretty sure she said contact in a way where I don't need to see him!

Yonic, my mum was like 'has he no shame?' Blubbering away in front of a solicitor - utter knob!

Just catching up after a few busy days, glad you're having a good holiday with your parents and your friend. Bet the girls haven't missed twatty at all.

So why is his solicitor even telling rottie that sort of thing? That's very unprofessional unless I was with a wry smile and resigned shrug to indicate she'd seen it all before and thinks he's a dick, but a dick who is paying her so she'll appear to believe him.

Hope rottie told her he was an abusive arse and she didn't want to hear about his feelings just that he'd agree to the divorce without any shit.

Good luck for Saturday x

So pleased your Mum finally gets it, that must be a real help finally having some support from your parents.

I would definitely go for contact where you don't have to see him, contact centre or something. I'll be honest, I don't know anything about those though.

Has your police officer been in touch? Suprised she hasn't been a bit more pro-active to be honest, as she sounded really good initially.

Thanks Petunia! Yes it is a bit odd but I think it may have been taken with a pinch of salt on both sides - and I said to Rottie that it was an act and she agreed. I love Rottie and think I might frame her letter haha!

Amazing

I know what you mean Fluffy, I'll update her with what's happened today and when I'll be returning (Monday) and see what says.

Thanks Egg

Seems odd for the other solicitor to mention it, sounds like she's not familiar with the crocodile tears and fake breakdowns that are the stock-in-trade of the abuser. Perhaps it was in the context of being certain that reconciliation wasn't a possibility? Still, I don't think we'll be seeing Twatchops on the red carpet this awards season as he won't be able to keep the act up long enough.

Moving out on Saturday? How convenient. Or is he paying for his sol and Rottie to work at the weekend? So you can't get back in until Monday. Have the locksmith on standby (do locksmiths do standby ?).

May as well spend a couple more days away, just to be sure everything's safe. Could your dad get down there once you've had the go-ahead from Rottie on Monday to oversee lock changeing and checking out the state of the place? Maybe installing a couple of security cameras - just front and back - so you know beyond doubt you'll be OK there?

I would speak to her definitely name. Its not right that you've basically had to go through all of this, and leave the address because you were so scared of what would happen. To be honest, I'm suprised twatchops is being so compliant, although maybe the bit in Rotties letter about the non-mol at his expense made his solicitor talk some sense into him rather than be difficult.

However, I do believe that his actions are a police matter, and what she said to you about it being emotional abuse only are rubbish. Even if the complaints didn't end up going anywhere there was the sexual co-ercian incident and the spitting (which I realise was old, but still). The sexual incident on its own would give enough grounds to arrest him in my opinion, so its a bit poor that she has just left you to it.

I reckon that after telling her you were leaving the area for a while, she has put it at the bottom of her list of priorities. Now I know this happens - I do it myself all the time, ultimately some jobs have a higher priority than others, but this one is pretty damn serious in my eyes.

I would be finding out exactly what she plans to do with the information in your statement, and also what in her opinion you should do it twatchops decides to start contacting you, or comes to the address when you are home.

I would arrange a locksmith to meet you there for sure, it's such a shame you lost your keys on your half term break away.