New name, new game, less stress, more progress! (Thanks to Rottie!)

[thenamehaschanged]

Here goes - thread 4 and definitely the last one now, sheesh!!

Who knew instigating divorce could be so bloody long winded!!

My last thread was 'It isn't Work Stress, it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H!'

Rottweiler solicitor (Rottie) and a non molestation order on Tuesday yippee!!

^ name I mean I left my H not any hamsters. If they were into hibernation you could conveniently stuff one into each pocket? How about a little temporary drop of chloroform?!

Erm, I've stuffed a cat (alive) into a sports bag to take it into the vet . It was a stray, and I was a student with no cat carrier...

Oh Mumsnet you're so funny!! - cat in a Tupperware box, hamster in each pocket and Alice I knew you weren't talking about the day you escaped your hamsters hahaha

A much needed laugh thank you

I broke cover to wish you well last post, breaking cover again about hamsters.
Is there a pets at home near you? Be honest to them, they would likely be able to house them for a night if you went today, then tell the girls they are at the vet? Routine check up?
Nettle tea, I am an expert on degus (website etc) PM me if need be, but give them a branch from an apple tree to gnaw on. (Sorry for temporary derail)

*last thread not post

De-lurking. I've been following you across all four threads.

Why don't you call a local vet. They will often know of someone who will look after small pets while people are on holiday etc. Or Google to see if there is someone who provides this service near you.

Or would a school friend do it? No one would think anything of you asking, during half term, so you wouldn't have to say too much.

Either way, you could drop them off tomorrow during the day, and Twatchops would be none the wiser.

Quite often when someone is cheating, or has done, they are very suspicious of their partners as they are expecting them to act as they have done in the past. Maybe this is the same with twattyman. Maybe he is planning to fuck off - if only - and shaft you and the kids.

Be careful!

Name - if necessary, you can get the Police to accompany you back t the house after the papers are served, to get stuff, so don't worry too much about that.

Re his time off - suggest a compromise. He takes next thursday and friday off and you can do stuff 'as a family'.... that was he doesn't lose a weeks wages, you sidestep the accusations and he hopefully will sleep easily tonight....

I could have your hamsters short term for you if you had time to bring them today. No idea where you live. I am in Kent.

Keep him happy today by making plans fornext week. Arrange a day out even buy tickets if necessary. Anything to get him out the door and off to work tomorrow. Tell him to book Thursday and Friday off. He is going to need it to move out his stuff before the weekend anyway!

Thanks Captain I'm going to speak to my PO next week about that. Tell her I'm concerned about returning to the house on Monday and can I have support. To be honest, I will know a lot more next week anyway because H will no doubt be in touch with Rottie and she will be relaying everything to me so I will have a good idea of how the land lies I think. If needs be I can always keep the kids off another week, tell the school and lay low for a fortnight?

But I will make it clear I will not be going back to the house if there's any chance of him turning up on my doorstep - I know there's always 999 but I really want to avoid that if possible and maybe a second week away will ensure that the dust will have properly settled? I don't know, I'll see what Rottie says.

Thanks everyone and thanks for your offer of Hamster sitting Itsfab, I think I'll be ok - I played it right with him on the phone earlier, I think there is an absolutely minute chance of him taking the day off tomorrow - he'll go to work and if he doesn't? Well I'm at the GP's and then I'm at a long play date in the afternoon - we've got two of those hamster balls so I've put them in the car and I'll just put the hamsters in my pockets and sneak past him if needs be!!

I've just been and filled the car up and have been secretly getting last minute stuff together and hidden it in the bottom of the wardrobe with my bag which has got all passports, certificates etc. I've set up a new email so have given that to Rottie and the PO as well as my temporary new payg number. Got all contacts I need saved. Think I'll change my email address on my MN account - I don't want to go anywhere near my normal phone while I'm away - It'll be on but on silent as I want it all logged but i don't want to see any of it. I won't be going anywhere near FB (he's not on mine thankfully) but other mutuals are - or my usual email address either.

I do feel weird!

Weird is the new normal in your situation.

I'm sure you do - I'm not even in your situation and am feeling twitchy!

Sounds like you are all prepared, which is good.

Oh, a thought: what sort of phone do you have? If it's an iphone, does it have an iphone tracker on it? You don't want him using your phone to track you down. I have limited knowledge on this so other poster input would probably help.

Well done on all the prep!

You're all set and doing brilliantly! Although I'm rolling at the thought of you doing all this James Bond stuff so coolly yet with a hamster in each pocket

That is style!

Just quickly posting again to say that if you have used a laptop or pc you aren't taking with you remember to delete the history - if he found this thread while you were away he may be able to spy on your next move.
Pom pom flurry here!

Rumble I know, it's proper bonkers!! The hamsters can look quite scary if they feel threatened so if he is here maybe I can jab one in his face and hope it bares its teeth at him while I make my escape out the door!

Thanks everyone, good tip there zombie about the tracker thing on my phone - I'll have a look at it now

I think you are very smart to consider the possibility of extending your absence to a fortnight.

Be sure you tell the PO if you decide this is a real possibility, and where you will be for the second week as well as the first, or H may file a missing/abduction report.

Great thanks Mathanxiety will do.

Found the GPS tracker thing on my phone so that's off now too

Thanks so much everyone

Op make sure your 'find my phone' is turned off as well

Wishing you a speedy exit tomorrow

'Hammygate' Can't really add anything to all the great advice and yes, be very careful in the next 24 hours!
My heart is racing for you reading your last update. I can't wait til it's this time tomorrow and your out of there.
Tons of luck zooming your way, you deserve it!!

I know I'm late to the party (it's early morning here) but have you thought about deflecting him taking term-hols off (or being suspicious tonight) by suggestion 'Ooh, wouldn't it be fun to do something at Christmas! Take a few days off and take the girls to XXXX?'. Even mention a price (look online) or whatever. That may deflect him trying to be off tomorrow & talk of money spent together may allay his fears. Wow, tomorrow!! Yay you, it's practically here!!

Baking a cake is brilliant! Also leaving dishes in the sink or laundry in the washer. Consider starting a load of laundry (old towels or sheets) just as he leaves for work tomorrow. Nothing that you couldn't do without if you had to toss it wet on the back steps (don't leave it in the washer, mildew!!). Or put a few loads by the washer tomorrow AM. Try to make it look as if you have a day's chores planned. Do have something to actually do tomorrow morning, though. You may find yourself 'antsy' or 'distracted'. Having something to do will help keep you out of his way & burn off that adrenaline. Just be sure that whatever you do isn't uncharacteristic for you. For example, for me to leave a sink full of dishes 'for later' would raise my DH's suspicions in your situation since I'm somewhat 'anal' about dirty dishes.

I'm at a loss about the hamsters. I guess I'd probably stick them in my purse (a big heavy leather one) as I walked out. But remember that will be an automatic tip-off if he happens to walk by an empty cage and may cut into your 'lead time' to get out of town. Hopefully he'll be at work so you won't have to worry about that.

Hope this evening goes smoothly. Remember, there's always Mr Del Monte if Twatty gets too overbearing!

Um...name in your post of 11.00 : 40 you said your STBXH has a friend. Is that a typo?
Seriously though, love the idea of using the gaping maw full of long yellow teeth of a rattled hamster as a weapon! Conjures up such a funny image!
Good luck, we is all rootin' for ya!

Thinking of you and wishing you well for tomorrow. He probably can sense something, but will never guess what is going to happen.
Just think how marvellous it will be to have your life back, make your own decisions and have control.

Don't forget to turn off the tracker on the iPad!!!!