Oh God. I just went for my exH mistress...

[spook]

Why oh why am I such a dick??? Just bumped into my exh and the horrible bitch he left me for. He is 48, she is 26. It's the first time since it happened-2 and a half years ago, that I have ever seen her-or them together and I just couldn't deal with the fucking smug look on her face.
But my boys were there and some friends and I just lost it. Calling her a whore and saying I'd like to land her one
I am so ashamed of myself and feel sick and dirty and really really stupid. I am better than that and have lowered myself to their sordid level.
I know noone will tell me its OK. Just needed to offload.

Spook........... shit happens. You'll be better prepared next time. Try not to beat yourself up about it.

Well everyone is allowed one meltdown, just don't do it again for the sake of your children.

I won't.

Spook, that must've been so hard for you
It wasn't a great thing to do no, but can completely understand you doing it.

You would think she would have the good grace to not be such a smug bitch considering everything that's happened.

Spook, don't beat yourself up. So you gave in to some baser feelings. We all do from time to time. Just feel smug at the thought that, when she's 46, she'll be with a 68 year old man, while you will be with your toyboy. Know who I'd rather be.

youre not a dick, she is..........stupid cow.shame you lost it but youre human.....i can imagine what kind of look you got,ive seen those looks and they make your blood boil.it is hard to stay calm in those circumastances so dont beat yourself up about it just try and do better next time!!

agree with the others, you're human - give yourself a break.

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Good on you Spook,I would imagine that you got alot out of your system that has been pent up for so long .

keep it together now for the children.

The 'whore' wont look so smug from now on now will she

she probably deserved it antway as the saying goes :what comes around goes around . ( to her obviously not you . )

Thanks girls
Could barely get my (albeit hysterical) words out actually through gagging on the combined smell of their heavily applied perfume/aftershave.
What a ludicrous pair they are.
Still wish I had held my head up high and sailed past though.

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Actually Rickman, I didn't really feel any relief. Just stupid really. Am just giving them fuel to their fire-I can just imagine them dicussing what an unhinged bitch I am and how he's so glad he left.
You're right. If you got a caution anyway you could at least have done some damage!!

It's easy to THINK you're going to be dignified and controlled, but easier said than done. I know I got sick of my mum refusing to comment and being so b*y dignified when her best friend went off with my dad, and was chuffed to bits when she finally blurted out that she didn't know what he saw in that "four-eyed bottle blonde with knock knees and an underbite".

And I think that sometimes there is something to be gained by standing up for yourself. My ex boyf went off with one of my close friends and I just fell to pieces for about a year, but I behaved in a dignified manner and never lost it at them and in hindsight I think I should have had one go at them just to stand up for myself, I think it may have speeded up the healing process.
Maybe you will now be able to draw a line under some of the feelings you have let fly today. goodluck.

Random ramblings here but I read the thread title to be that you had gone for your ex head mistress! Blimey, poor spook must have had a rotten time at school to be so upset at seeing her again thinks dopey here!

You did what anyone would have done anyway.

Lol Sarahhal! I bear no grudges against any teaching professionals from my childhood.

perfectly understandable. Maybe explain to the kids that you feel bad because it might have embarrassed them but that you do still feel hurt by what that pondscum pair did to your family. After what they put you through a little public humiliation is very mild retaliation.

Spook, hindsight is a wonderful thing! You just do the best you can at the time. Its over, the next time you see them together won't be so painful, let it go and have a lovely glass of something tonight thinking how lucky you and your kids are to be out of it

Thankyou so much all of you. Have been thinking alot and the feelings of shame have dwindled a bit and I have realised that I have just done exactly what I have wanted to do for two and a half years.
Oh-how many times have I dreamt about calling her a whore to her smarmy orange face. Do wish I'd floored her though
So yes-I will draw a line under it and hopefully put to bed some of these feelings.
Very sound advice from all of you-thankyou!!

it will happen to her, i am a believer and experienced it that if they have left once they will again so your outburst is a slight thing aginst what may come her way.

If it's any help, I would have done the same thing...
I'm amazed you kept it together for 2.5 years.
Time heals, breathe have a glass of wine and accept human emotion as one of lifes' little idiosyncrasies.

Hes 48 shes 26 ? Not together forever me thinks .

Def agree with bananloaf about having done it once he will do it again.

My best friend , her DH left her earlier in the year for another woman, so although I have no personal experience I have gone through it with my friend .