It was never 'work stress', it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H! (part3)

[thenamehaschanged]

New thread!

As always I'm hopeless and can't link properly to my old thread Work stress? Err I don't think so mate'

Thank you everyone for finishing off the last thread- glad to be starting afresh actually! I did have a little chuckle about Greg the plumber (Phwoar!!) thanks H for the suggestion - us at Mumsnet ran with it and he sounds like my dream man haha!

Anyway - I'm upstairs as usual avoiding going down and seeing old King of the Castle in his throne. He came up half an hour ago in the hope of 'some action' but was told to bugger off - he's manageable at the moment because all of a sudden it's him who's 'scared to rock the boat' and keeps telling me how grateful if he is to have been allowed back - yack! (You didn't give me a lot of choice H though did you? You played every emotional card in your pack and then literally forced your way in!)

Anyway - I'm feeling strong, seeing the police tomorrow - and action plan will be in place!

Love to you all

Make a copy of it first and keep the copy in another good spot. I have put documents in cookbooks in the past.

I'd scan it and email a copy to yourself too? And as for keeping it safe and out of the house, how about sending it to yourself via recorded delivery?

That;'s what I'd do, beyond - post it to myself. It'll get there for monday, and be out of the house (tho it would be my luck for the PO to be super-efficient and deliver it back tomorrow)

I've got the Tampax box - everything fits in there folded up and I have sealed it back up with clear tape rolled up like sticky back tape so it doesn't look like it's been taped up on the outside of the box hee hee how scheming!!

Post doesn't get here til at least 11 and my police appt is half then so I'll be out of here about 9.50 on Monday and yeah knowing my like it will bloody turn up tomorrow haha! But good idea anyway!

I tell you, I am never getting into this situation again - it's good having all this to focus on, but obviously it isn't good at the same time!!

*half ten

name I only suggested the school because of the arrangement you made about him not picking up the children on his own - which means they already know something isn't right. Good luck with the Tampon box - though I hope it will be big enough for all you've to entrust to it!

Keep safe x

Keep safe name. Brilliant idea re the tampax box. Hope the party goes well and that twatchops doesn't create a scene.

Brilliant!

Are you planning on taking the documents with you when you leave on Monday? I think I would just to be on the safe side even if I had to reopen the box. Luckily I'm one of those 'huge handbag' ladies & I'd be able to put the whole sealed box in my purse! LOL.

Haha - yes the docs are for the police on Monday and rotty solicitor on Tuesday so I'll have them on me - my bag's pretty big too so I've no worries fitting it in.
H has got a cold, is all sniffly and helpless and is coming home early for a hot bath - on the phone I had to stifle my nurturing caring side, in person he'll be a prick as always. He's started the ignoring me crap again by the way - he does like to leave the odd thing I say hanging in the air unacknowledged while he gawps at the telly catching flies lol! Oh happy days, won't miss them at all

Ugh! Man-flu! I'd rather chew glass than be at home with a sick man. My DH is really a good guy, but I'll take a vom/poo'ing 2 year old any day! On the bright side, a perfectly good reason to keep your distance tonight and take the kids out tomorrow! "Don't want us to catch your bug, now do you, 'dear'?"

Ignoring is GOOD! At least that way you aren't having to 'make nice' to his attempts at conversation. Just remember that this will all be over in less than 72 short hours. I'll bet that brings a smile to your face.

I am very suspicious of the way he is establishing his physical presence in the house just at this point. I find the idea of him reorganising, rearranging things in drawers and cabinets at this point very sinister. I do not think he does anything that is not related to narcissistic motives. My guess is this is an attempt to assert dominance of the turf.

Ah well, just consider Name, if they poor lamb is soooo ill then he's too ill for sex n stuff on your anniversary...

Perhaps, to get him to back the fuck off, you could say how much you appreciate that he is making the effort and how good it is of him to be so patient, you've had a lot on your mind lately and you just need a little more time...

Your only caring should go as far as throwing at him giving him tissues and a packet of lemsip. Anything else is going beyond the call of duty.

Good idea NOT to put stuff in your bad. When I was in the process of divorcing a husband, my shit hot lawyer warned me that he'd be searching my bag ... and he was.

math makes a point! His 'cleaning' could v well be a way to try and snoop for things/documents without you having to be out of the house. He may not be on MN, but men DO talk and some mate or other could have told him about their XW 'hiding things/papers/money' just before she kicked him out! I think advice to any woman is pretty much 'stash your importants' so it wouldn't be odd for men (in general) to start cottoning on.

Does man-flu indicate he may be off sick next week?

Let him reorganise stuff while you take the girls out for a lovely day. He won't want you all in the way while he's doing all that, will he? And he won't find anything anyway, so you'll just get an organised set of drawers which you can reorganise next week......

Every moment is another moment closer. KOKO, Name.

Name: you might want to get a decoy stash; some old statements, a couple of insurance documents, a European Health Card etc, and stash them at the back of one of your drawers. If he finds that he might think he has hit the jackpot and you can just innocently say 'Gosh, I wondered where they were' without him actually finding anything else out. And, ask 'when you found these, were the repeat prescription sheets* in there at all. I can't find them anywhere'.

*Or something else personal, replaceable and innocuous.

One thing to be careful to do is erase cookies from the computer and be sure to log out from every password site you use. If you keep a notebook with passwords, etc in it, do not let that out of your possession.

Did he get around to signing his work contract this week or did that just happen to slip his mind yet again?

Thought I'd quickly log on from in bed!

Thanks for all the pointers and tips everyone

Doc - he has a meeting scheduled for Wednesday to sign the contract apparently. He said he had hoped to do it today but the boss was away.

Thanks math, i am as vigil as possible online but even more so these days.

Good idea Ribena! And Jux haha!

Alice I seriously doubt it, I have only ever known him to take time off work once in the whole 17 yrs of knowing him and it was a full week off due to severe food poisoning off a dodgy Chinese

The clearing and organising isn't out of character so I don't think it's snooping as such, but it definitely has it's roots in narcissism - He likes the house clear of clutter and neatly organised. Maybe he can get into Feng Shui as a hobby when we split!

Must go speak tomorrow

Koko name and fingers crossed for signed contract Wednesday.

Hi. I have been following your threads from the beginning but I have got a bit lost

Have you actually served the divorce papers ?