It was never 'work stress', it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H! (part3)

[thenamehaschanged]

New thread!

As always I'm hopeless and can't link properly to my old thread Work stress? Err I don't think so mate'

Thank you everyone for finishing off the last thread- glad to be starting afresh actually! I did have a little chuckle about Greg the plumber (Phwoar!!) thanks H for the suggestion - us at Mumsnet ran with it and he sounds like my dream man haha!

Anyway - I'm upstairs as usual avoiding going down and seeing old King of the Castle in his throne. He came up half an hour ago in the hope of 'some action' but was told to bugger off - he's manageable at the moment because all of a sudden it's him who's 'scared to rock the boat' and keeps telling me how grateful if he is to have been allowed back - yack! (You didn't give me a lot of choice H though did you? You played every emotional card in your pack and then literally forced your way in!)

Anyway - I'm feeling strong, seeing the police tomorrow - and action plan will be in place!

Love to you all

Thank you so much everyone again, lovely people!!

Good idea new set of keys.

Fluffy, no idea what he's thinking other than another, bloody, fucking meal in a restaurant - we have never acknowledged it apart from the first one, dd arrived pretty much on the second and then everything had deteriorated by then anyway so it has been swept under the carpet ever since - even our 10th last year. So I cringed and curled my toes when he mentioned it earlier - must have been reminded by his mother.

shakes fists at sky (from indoors obviously as it's bloody pissing down out there)

Happy Birthday, name.
I hope you left his keys in the door. What a bastard.

And breathe.

I'm in bed - In full depressive slump 'it's my bloody birthday, look at my life' mode - bar of fruit and nut, thinking about making myself a , relieved I have another 2 hours til the girls need collecting!

Thank you Band!! No it wasn't me, it should have been though

Hmmm well it could be worse.... No Fruit n Nut ;)

You have two wonderful daughters, name. I am so sorry that your husband...Well, the baby daddy at this point...turned out so horrible to you. BUT, you are doing the right thing for yourself and just as importantly, for your daughters. It is going to stick this time and you will land on your feet (with kids you kind of have to).
Celebrate your daughters everyday...It will be a distraction for one thing; but will also help you celebrate yourself as well.

Yes true Tim enough moping, I'm up now!! I'm going to do something brilliant next year - me and Greg are off to bloody Paris or something haha!!

Ahh thanks Band! Agreed, I'm lucky in ways, unlucky in others, same as everyone really - it's just all got a bit on top recently

Just tell him you have had too much on this week with the birthdays and you need a rest. Then say you should celebrate your anniversary next week when things have calmed down. Celebrating three events in one week would be to much for anyone so it would be very understandable. Enjoy your chocolate. ...

Happy birthday Name! Next year Paris!!!! Or Greg the Plumber. Or both.

Oh the hiding the keys thing! I had this once from a cuntbadger I work with. Found them in a bin between the bin and the liner. No way they could have got there without her human intervention. Get revenge for this petty bastard behaviour get him arrested or something...

....Oh wait!

Happy Birthday Name Yep next year you could be on a romantic break with Greg.

Happy Birthday!! Hope things go smoothly tonight.

So, keep half your takeaway, eat it anniversary day at lunch. Ooooh, it must have gone off, dearest, I really feel terrible. (Cue the Del Monte and carrots). There goes not only the anniversary dinner, but also any expectations he may have had regarding 'dessert' (eurgh).

Happy birthday

Happy birthday Name and a happier year to come.

Happy birthday name!! Enjoy your curry (yum!)

Yep, he'll be planning another candlelit meal for your anniversary. Same as the original birthday plan, he wants to "prove" (to himself? to you?? to a potential court? Who knows) that if he woos you, he can get regular, consenting sex from you. Because he knows, deep down, that your 'reconciliation' sex was not that. Eurgh. Or, slightly more negative - he knows that you will feel bribed and will let him have sex on you. Either way, its about sex.

Name and have a lovely family evening!

Happy birthday, name!

What a shame your anniversary isn't next week. It might have been the perfect time for his arrest - both the girls out of the house, if he's arranged for his BIL to babysit again. Plus, if he'd had a few drinks, as he has form for losing his temper when he's drunk, he might have kicked off and shown the police how he behaves.

It would kind of have a certain poignant symmetry too. My mother's best friend left her violent husband in a secret flit where they had a 2 hour window for her, my mum and her brothers to pack everything up and get her and the kids out. Halfway through, the doorbell went. Complete panic ensued as she wasn't allowed visitors (except my mum and then only when he was out) so it could only be one of his mates who might tip him off. Everyone hid while she opened the door...

...to a delivery man with a huge bouquet of flowers. She'd completely forgotten it was their wedding anniversary.

That was over 20 years ago. Her kids are grown up, happy and successful, she is happily married, living in the country, and they have another child who is off to uni now. None of them have seen her ex ever again, except in court. Happily ever after...

Oh lovely story myfriend! Gives me a little hope because my bloody conscience won't stop nagging at me, albeit only occasionally but I did have a momentary 'I can't do this' moment again today. It was because he'd been so upbeat, annoyingly funny and happy on the phone earlier.

BUT - it's not real, it's not real, it's not real...repeat ad nauseum

If he really was lovely and upbeat then I would be able to say H I'm not happy, I want to split amicably and I wouldn't be at risk of violence.
He's only putting on the lovely act because a) it's my birthday and b) he thinks I'm back under control.

And I know I've said this time and time again on here, it's ok, it's just this bloody milestone week in our lives is one I could have done without at this moment in time or at least have picked a better solicitor who would have had him out of here back in September when he got the papers.

Anyway - it is what it is - thank you everyone so much for your lovely messages - I really really appreciate it and you have given me a real lift today so thank you X

Happy birthday name enjoy your curry! I agree with leaving anniversary till end of month, could you try "so busy with dds birthday and it's not like it's a big one, let's wait till month end and do something over half term!"

Whatever you do, don't go for a flu jab (Sainsbury's, Tesco..) on your anniversary, just in case you have a bad reaction to it
Just sayin'

So he wants to take you out to celebrate your anniversary does he? Hmmm, maybe it's time to get out a tin of fruit cocktail...

OR… say to him 'don't organise anything for our anniversary will you, because I am organising a surprise' (the surprise will be being arrested if the timing's right, or if not, the surprise will be a treasure hunt with you setting him the clues and him following them to…er…somewhere far away from you)

Lol FB! 'Surprise H!! Happy Anniversary, the police are here to see you!'

Haha Bob! Yep, the man from Del Monte says yes to a tin of his fruit chunks being hurled in the bog in an effort to avoid unwanted sexual advances !!

Good idea after eight! May just stick a plaster on my arm anyway and ask him to guess what's wrong with me haha!

Thanks Petunia

Happy birthday and many more much happier ones to come