His present to me? He hid my keys.
This is an another indication of his crazy-making shit, isn't it Name? I know you have recounted examples of this in some of your other posts. He moves your keys and expects you to 'mind-read' and find them in the morning without him telling you. Then he switches off his phone, knowing that you will be frantic. And he would be reveling in the chaos that he has caused you. I have no doubt that this is some sort of 'punishment', for some perceived slight that he feels you have given him. I grew up with a mother like this who would pull similar sorts of shit with me. I did the family version of divorce - I went no contact with her and my nutty father.
He also left his keys in the front door all night! Now if that had been me there would have been absolute hell to pay!
This is the double standard of the unreasonable, irrational person. A reasonable, rational person believes "What's good for the goose, is good for the gander" - thus if he can tell you off for a mistake, you should be able to do the same. But you can't, can you? And you know what? A mistake is just that, a mistake. No need to start WWIII over it, its not the bombing of a city, no one will lose their life, the sun will rise tomorrow, and the world will still turn on its axis. A more appropriate reaction would be "Did I do that? Hell, glad nothing bad came of it!" and then move on.
Just think, soon you will be rid of this TwatMonster, and life will be so, so much calmer, happier, and you will be in control of what you do or do not want in your life. Happy, Happy Birthday Name 
, have a lovely evening (even though he will be there), and keep reminding yourself, this is the last birthday you ever have to have with him again 
.