It was never 'work stress', it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H! (part3)

[thenamehaschanged]

New thread!

As always I'm hopeless and can't link properly to my old thread Work stress? Err I don't think so mate'

Thank you everyone for finishing off the last thread- glad to be starting afresh actually! I did have a little chuckle about Greg the plumber (Phwoar!!) thanks H for the suggestion - us at Mumsnet ran with it and he sounds like my dream man haha!

Anyway - I'm upstairs as usual avoiding going down and seeing old King of the Castle in his throne. He came up half an hour ago in the hope of 'some action' but was told to bugger off - he's manageable at the moment because all of a sudden it's him who's 'scared to rock the boat' and keeps telling me how grateful if he is to have been allowed back - yack! (You didn't give me a lot of choice H though did you? You played every emotional card in your pack and then literally forced your way in!)

Anyway - I'm feeling strong, seeing the police tomorrow - and action plan will be in place!

Love to you all

Name you are an adult, nobody gets to tell you when to go to bed, just keep telling him that until he gets the message. This is only a small thing in the the grand scheme of your marriage but it really does bug me because a friend of mine was married to a violent man & this is one of the things that used to set him off. WTF is wrong with these idiots that they think they can control your bedtime.

My ex used to make me go to bed at 9pm every night, because he had to get up early in the morning...

He would literally stand up, turn off the telly, turn off the lights and announce "Come on, off to bed".

I am, and always have been, a night owl. I can easily stay up until the wee hours, and find I have some of my most productive hours between 11pm and 2am.

My lovely husband now will stand up and announce he is off to bed and go. Some nights I stay up until 1am (kids means I do try to go to bed a bit earlier these days!) and neither of us thinks anything of it. In fact, I had actually forgotten about my ex making me go to bed until I read this thread...

I know, it's just so weird - he wouldn't give it a second thought that it's unreasonable behaviour - he thinks he's being absolutely reasonable - but it's very undermining and yet another way of trying to make me feel wrong and bad.

And to do it last night when he's declared that we are 'trying again' and after telling me not even a week ago that he wasn't going to bully me about it anymore.

Just horrible and strange.

I'll admit I've had another low day today and went to bed after the freedom programme. It's probably because I didn't sleep very well last night but this is definitely pretty exhausting at times! - it took all my strength to get up to go and get the girls from school - although now that they're here I feel lots better

Thanks everyone

"This too will pass"

Can't remember who said it, but it's true. Before you know it, you'll be on the other side, and free.

Thanks Down

Sending you strength, Name. Must be exhausting but you are doing so well. Eyes on the prize, missus.

You're doing brilliantly. Don't ask just go when it suites you. I always go first as I want to be asleep before dh starts snoring! Twatchops lasted less than a week!

Hi Name. I have been lurking for a while but couldn't post until I managed to change my username and password (H checks up on my posts). Sorry to hijack your thread but the whole bedtime thing resonates with me. H will look at his watch and raise his eyebrows when I say I'm going to bed. Admittedly it's sometimes as early as 9/9.30 but I work shifts,have young children and have always been an early to bed - early riser type of person.
It makes me feel crap but I wonder if I'm reading too much in to it, especially when I read the overt way your H tries to control you.
I want to wish you all the best. I may not be able to post often but I read your thread daily...

You are doing so well Name. You must feel absolutely drained by all the mond games and crap he is spouting on top of having to 'play nice'.

Sending you super hero strength for a super heroine!

name, you are almost there. How you're feeling is totally totally natural. But hang in there ... just think how wonderful you and your darling daughters will feel once that horrible, toxic, vile man is out of your lives. Sure, it'll really kick off one he realises - but stand firm, donT' back down, YOU WILL WIN. You don't want the rest of your, and your daughers' young lives, being wrecked by this horrible apology for a 'father/husband'? No, of course not. Hang in there, darling girl.

Thinking of you name KOKO

Name its not long now Wishing you strength you are doing great

Thank you so much everyone your support and advice is wonderful as always

Thank you Oldgrandmama

Thanks Darkest, Random, bob, petunia, larry

I'm getting there!

Name you are, and are doing, fab! And keeping you sense of humour whilst dealing with it all is impressive, go you!

not long now and you'll be free

keep strong and your chin up it's no wonder you feel tired and low

cheering you from Aus xxx

Thanks guys - I know, especially as H is in hyper excited little boy mode building DD's birthday present. It always is bordering on mania with him though, can't just approach life steadily - it's either manic highs or abusive, dark lows.

No guilt with playing along tonight, she's my DD too and she will love her present

Just remember every time he opens his mouth "words are cheap".

And 'You know he's lying cos his lips are moving.'

name prob not worth it, with the time you have left, but I just had the cunning plan to record and sample him saying "I won't bully you about bedtime" and turn it into an app. Maybe with an R&B riff, or something from the rap genre. A lot less effort pushing the app than verbally defending yourself repeatedly.

A bit silly but it's 5am, FFS.

name soon you will be able to go to bed at 3.00 in the afternoon if you want. Make sure you are up and dressed though if Greg is coming to sort out your plumbing.....

Happy Birthday, name!

Yes,- Happy Birthday! Hope you have a lovely time with yr girls xx

Happy birthday name.

I hope it's a peaceful one without too much drama lovely koko

Happy birthday!

happy birthday!

May this be your last one with twatchops.

Here's to a much happier year.

Hope you get through your birthday without too much attention from that abisive knob