I dislike my husband

[Edtfdess]

He's sitting here slagging off everyone. Just stomped off to the bathroom calling Cheryl Cole a 'talentless, Jordie Slapper'.

I've had to sit here tonight and suffer another diatribe on immigrants, music (he's a failed musician and v bitter), and anyone who isn't him.

I did actually argue my point on a load of racist crap, but that just makes it worse. No he's just angry, slumped on the otherwise if the sofa on his iPad.

I'm lonley. I'm so sick of this.

Edtfdess-start plotting your escape, you are just putting off the inevitable, you are too smart to be putting up with this crap forever.

Imagine this is your baby girl writing this thread in 25 years time - what would you think?
Make a plan to leave and have the life you deserve

I really feel for you. I really hope you find the strength to leave this man.

But he always makes me think it is me. That's there is something wrong with me.

I'd kill anyone who made my dd feel like this.

Please don't do those things. Maybe get up and take your baby out for the day?

It's not you it's him.

No I couldn't do that. Jesus. I dread to think how he'd be. If be accused of storming off. It would make things worse. I just have to make it 'normal' in the morning.

I know it's him. I think there is something deeply wrong with him.

What is stopping you from leaving/kicking him out?

How long have you been together?
What's your accommodation set up?
Do you work?

Fucking hell, what a fucking twunt!!

'I dread to think how he'd be' - if you took your baby out!!!???

I am speechless. Cunt.

See it for what it is… and leave. Don't just mn about it…. just leave him.

No I don't work.

Never have done, apart from for myself, long story. We rent. I lefty first (shitty, sexless) marriage for him......only to end up in another shitty sexless marriage!

I know how shit that makes me sound.

No work experience, no references. No money, we rent. I'm mid 30s and I have nothing.

Are you frightened of him?

Your husband is my father. Leave now before you find you have wasted 50 years of your life on that piece of shit and made you and your child(ren) truely miserable. Go and go now!

I so agree with this advice, but it is REALLY hard to leave Security. I know. It's the scariest thing in the world.

Edtfdess, at the risk of sounding like a cliche - You and your baby really are young enough to start again.
You don't want to end up in my situation 10 years down the line! (if you read my topic Emotional Abuse/Controlling Partner)

Are you frightened of him? sometimes ignorance and bullying go hand in hand? what would he do if you went out tomorrow?

pasanda no, he's love it of I took the baby out. It would let him have some time to himself, diddums doesn't get that much now he has responsibilities.

If I fucked off when he was still in bed, that's what he'd be angry about.

You have your baby so not nothing, tell him you want him to leave.

You will be entitled to benefits housing benefit, income support, tax credits etc and will be fine financially (I am a lone parent so know.)

Once he has gone you can start putting your life back together, deciding what you want to do and working out how you can do it. You can do anything you want to do.

I'm scared of his reactions and how he makes me feel.

He's never been violent. He's threatens as in "I wish you were a bloke so I could beat the shit out of you" but he's never hurt me.

He wouldn't leave.

We are both named on the tenancy, but he sees it as his house as he pays the rent. He'd never go.

He thinks he's dad of the year too.

Oh and he'd never beat the shit out of another man either. He's all mouth, behind people's backs. He's a coward.

I have to go to bed. Dd is teething, she'll be up in the small hours.

Thank you. I have no one in RL so this helps so much.

But maybe he has never followed through with the threat and actually hurt you, because you "behave" and never stand up to him. I mean, if you are frightened when someone makes a threat, you tend to back down, that's natural isn't it? But what is important here is the threat itself, because you can't risk testing the hypothesis that a threat is a threat is a promise.

If you want to leave, (and I definitely would want to), perhaps your first step could be the CAB? They should be able to advise you on housing and benefits. Even if you don't feel confident enough to leave yet, being armed with the practical facts may help.

Good grief, the thought of being saddled with a man like that for the rest of my life...

Be very careful all the best cowards/bullies beat the crap out of those they "love"

He's poured a bottle of water over my head in the past when I've stood up for my opinion.

When he did that, I froze. If rose as everything ine was telling me to run, but I couldn't I had no where to go.

He took that as me realising I was out of order and being quiet.

I was dying inside.