Text message meant for someone else?

[springchickennolonger]

Looked at my phone this morning. Found a text message from Dp which was obviously not meant for me. It's incriminating -to another woman- but I don't want to draw any conclusions until I'm sure it's from his phone.

Is there any way it could be from somewhere else?

I'm a bit shocked tbh and not sure what to do.

My gut feeling is to gather more evidence before confronting him. Any advice?

Thanks.

Oh fuck, I'm so so sorry op.

OP do you have children? Is the house yours or joint-owned? Good advice from Dowser to try to stay calm. But really you can't do anything (apart from what Dowser suggests) until you actually know what this is. Are you OK to confront him in person or is he likely to get nasty?
by the way, can you sit with a hot sweet drink and just try to get your head around this at all this morning?

Txt back - yr bags will be on doorstep.
Bye

Shake him up.

But it depends on your situation, DCs, length of relationship, financial situation.

So sorry but it looks like he is cheating on you. An awful reality. I don't know how complicated your set up with him is but this is something that needs tackling. I'm thinking he will have known he sent it to the wrong person as he will have checked his messages when he got no response. I bet he is looking a bit sheepish tonight.

How was he this morning? How have things been in your relationship?

Keep the message on your phone, OP, and, if possible, send it somewhere else, too as a back-up. I, personally, would show DP the message and ask him outright.

I'd reply and tell him he could spend every night with her from now on.

Doubt points if he's in the room when you send it, so you can watch the realisation dawn on him.

What an idiot.

Definitely keep cool. Don't rush to answer, question or accuse

Have you a friend who could follow his car one night. See if he goes to see cat woman .

Irule Thanks all. I don't want to confront him yet, though. I need to get all my ducks in a row, so to speak!

He's left for work, dd is in school, and I have a full day pending.

No to female friends. At least I don't think so. He's a very pragmatic sort of bloke and this language is not his style normally. Certainly not to me.

Every woman in a relationship ( no matter how good it is) should keep a war chest.

An untraceable one that is.

Taught to me by my little old granny!

Your 'little old granny' has very wise words.

I'm calm. Yes to keeping message. He works away on a regular basis so he could be seeing someone.

I'm happy to confront him, I suppose, but I feel I need more evidence, as he's likely to deny it.

What I'm really wondering, though, is what to do next? If it's true, then what?

Dd is 12, btw.

How can he deny it? It's plain as the nose on his face.

You need more evidence as at the moment you are still reeling from disbelief and feeling it could go either way and it's only human to want to know who the other woman is.

My ex was very careless with his secret.

Has he left any other clues lying around?

He can't really explain that away though surely?

quite the relationship has been crap for a while. Separate beds (his instigation) for ages; not much sex.

We had a row a few months back when I discovered he had been using dd' s tablet to look at porn.

Another woman though? Surprised at that, tbh.

Op I really don't think you need to present more evidence. Of course he may have an explanation however unlikely that may sound....you know him and will know if he's lying.

I have an iphone and have on occasion messaged the wrong person....unlike old style phones you can't stop them going once they have been sent ....as you probably know.

I reckon he probably realises now and may have deleted anything else from his phone....only speculating though....if there is something a wry.

Any differences in his behavioural habits lately??
When Is he next home??

I would confront him, what more evidence do you need?

dowserno, no other clues. But then, I haven't been looking.

I agree with whoever said text him with ''I dont have a cat, how could you wish you were seeing me tonight when Ive been here with you etc. Then I would follow this up with a ''is there something you would like to tell me''

What more evidence do you need?. Or do you really not want to admit to yourself that this is really now well and truly over. The writing has been on the wall re this for a while now given what else you have written about the overall poor state of this relationship.

only: no change in behaviour habits. But he's worked away/long hours for a while, so this could have been going on for longer than I think.

What a dick.

I personally wouldn't pre warn him by texts etc. In the remote possibility that he is oblivious....it's giving him time to delete stuff etc.

Face to face.

Tell him face to face that if it's innocent he can prove it by producing his phone (woth that number) and any passcodes etc. immediately, and if he won't the you will draw the obvious conclusion.

Either way I expect he'll end up on the pavement with a boot print on his arse.

Twat.

If the relationship has been flagging confronting him only pushes the situation more to a resolution.

Don't fOrget if this is an affair , he's had weeks or months to get himself sorted out whereas the OP has just been banged into a brick wall.

When things got bad with me and ex, I'd find out things that made me want to scream them from the roof tops, instead I would dig deep, stop and think about what I wanted to do, where I wanted it to go

He might have been planning things for months. He might have his ducks in a row.

Try out all different scenarios OP till you find the one that feels most comfortable.

You are in shock but use that adrenalin to make your plans.