A teenage shop assistant today...

[Tinytillytot]

Shouted after me as i walked into a changing room cubicle that "Those clothes had BETTER come out on the clothes hanger" and then kissed her teeth.

Was I unreasonable to leave my clothes on the floor then swan out like a badass and simply saying "ciao".

I know it's sad and petty but I really enjoyed my coffee shortly after.

It would be jolly nice to get back to the substance of the thread.....

Right. This thread really has veered off course. Now we've ascertained for certain what teeth kissing is, could we please get back to discussing the original post, otherwise we're going to have to zap this thread. Remember the mantra: 'civil and relevant. Civil and relevant'.
Thanks!

Ignoring the 4 pages of racism debate and going back on topic. The OP is basically:

A teenager was rude to me so I was ruder back, how cool am I?'

Sounds like both parties need to grow up frankly.

OP YANBU (not that this is in AIBU) she sounds like a cow. Well done you.

60s - yes! I have lived and worked in Central London for 20 years and only found out what it meant last year when a colleague sent an email and used the phrase "KMT" - in it. I was like "did you mean KMA?!". Had never heard it.

Ooo a mantra. I didn't know there was a mantra Iona. So much easier to memorise than the talk guidelines

I am very curious to know which Topshop branch this was.

These days I would probably have given her a Look/spoken to the manager depending on my mood. But OP response seems fine in the circumstances!

I had no idea what teeth kissing was, DH hadn't heard of it and my children (who are 8&6) have not come across it either.

I don't think you can infer from that that we have all lived narrow lives with limited experience / understanding. Just that we've not come across one particular behaviour.

Shrug. OP I still think you were rude. So was the assistant, but you've just reinforced her irritation. I'd have left the clothes on the hanger in the cubicle, or put them back - but I'm a sook :)

Anyway, you should have asked to speak to the manager. I'd have sacked her on the spot if it were me.

I'm pretty sure that there are all sorts of cultural peculiarities common in regions of the UK that Ethel is not familiar with. Maybe we should start berating her for her 'narrow experience' because she hasn't made herself familiar with mannerisms and phrases common in ex-mining communities in fife or among sheep farmers in Cumbria.

This thread is bonkers.

I only found out what kissing you teeth is earlier this year. Despite growing up abroad (non-EU/USA), going to a school which was about 15% white at most (this was back in the UK), and living abroad in several different (again non-EU/USA) counties as an adult. Not a NARROW experience of life by any means. As has been pointed out, sometimes people just don't know about things

I have to say I though kissing your teeth and sucking your teeth were 2 different things. Round my way (SE London, predominantly West African) teeth sucking seems to be an expression of impatience or annoyance (so if teenage shop assistant has had every person in the changing room hand her clothes not on the hanger, she may well be both annoyed and rather impatient with customers by this point). So not the same as a tut which suggests disapproval.

Kissing your teeth I thought as more of an American thing (Sicilian/mafia initially?) whereby you bunch your fingers up by your mouth, kiss them and then flick your fingers in the direction of whoever you're aiming this gesture at - and it's extremely disrespectful.

OP - yanbu but maybe give her a break, I should think it's a pretty crappy job!

I am not a casual racist, or an overt racist, or any other type of racist. Nor am I ill informed or poorly educated, as has sort of been implied, although not actually said outright. I did explain upthread that I asked, rather than googled, because I thought it was the OP's own choice of phrase, not a commonly used term.

I didn't really want to get into the whole 'where I live' business, but I feel I sort of have to. I live in a rural area of N Ireland. Is it really all that unbelievable that I wouldn't have come across this, if it does indeed originate from Caribbean culture? There is no Caribbean descended community here, so the fact that it has passed into common use elsewhere doesn't mean anything here, because there is no one here to pass it on to us.

You might think I'm wilfully ignorant of other cultures, but why would I think to research something that I'd never heard of? In fact, how could I possibly research something I've never heard of, seeing as I've never heard of it.

I know a lot about Irish culture and tradition, things that probably aren't common knowledge in the rest of the UK. It doesn't make the rest of the UK prejudiced by default because they don't understand what I take for granted.

However, leaving all that aside, there is something very ironic about me asking for information on a topic, asking for an explanation, and then being scolded for being wilfully ignorant of the issues. If I was the sort of person who wasn't interested in learning about things, I wouldn't have bothered to ask.

I don't think I lead a narrow life because I live in an area with virtually no Afro-carribean community.

I think I lead a different life to people who live in more culturally diverse areas, but not narrow.

I probably know more About tupping and chickens and weasels and where to find wild garlic or how to make sloe gin than people who've lived all their lives in London or other big cities. Do I think they've led narrow lives because they don't know this stuff? No.

and now I've cross posted with HQ who asked us not to comment further on that issue

No! No breaks will be given! It's her job. If people do put the clothes back nicely then that's just an added bonus that makes her life a bit easier - she can't demand that they do it! Otherwise what is she for? Just to stand there and look pretty?

And even if she was as irritated as hell she was very unprofessional to be so surly and rude to a customer.

poor treacle

Back to the racist discussion..ARGHHHHHHHH

Surely she has to sort out the clothes on the hanger even if people do try to put them back. I always try to put things back on hangers and the assistants always redo it the way the shop wants stuff displayed. Maybe I'm just especially incompetent...

Treacle, I think you're milking it a bit now . Only ONE person was rude to you.

I did not know what teeth kissing was.

I don't consider myself 'very white': I am not from the UK originally (though a UK citizen), and have lived in several different countries in my life.

All my nieces and nephews are mixed race (black/white), and one of my bils is black caribbean.

I guess they are all just very polite!

true Mintyy I got carried away typing that post!

I have a particularly deep and special hatred for those 2-in-1 tops where you have a little vest top inside a loose floaty outer top, but they are attached by little stitched loops at the shoulder. I get so FECKING WILD with rage attempting to try those damned things on that I'm ready to hit someone by the time I come out of the cubicle. They definitely don't get properly hung back up by me.

Ok, back on track.

I wouldn't have left the stuff on the floor but I would have told the manager how rude the assistant was.