Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

am i being mugged off?????

656 replies

jude3184 · 17/09/2014 16:52

ok so im gonna start right at the beginning.....i was in a relationship for 7 years with a man who made me feel like crap. He said he liked me the way I was (absolutely massive) he had me totally emotionally dependent on him then he upped and left me and my two girls.

I soon wised up and dropped 4 stone and met someone who I thought was amazing...until 6 months down the line he smashed my house into pieces then started on me...so thats the end of that story too. I finished it instantly and spent the next 3 years focused on me myself and my beautiful daughters.

This is where im either going to sound like a completely ungrateful little brat or im gonna get told that im right to be concerned....

I have met a wonderful man and he has a 2 year old daughter. We have been together little over a year now. he has recently moved from wales to be with me and as it stood when he moved up, he saw his daughter every other weekend when she stayed with us plus he saw her every other day after work at his mothers for 3 hours. last week I had a phone call to TELL me that she would now be staying every other night at our over night PLUS the weekends that she usually stays. This wouldnt be a problem but since im in a tiny two bed flat and i already have my daughters who live with me, his daughter is now in with us every other night all night and she still doesnt sleep through the night and to top that off his dog who he insists is more like his daughter than his pet insists on sleeping int he bedroom also. I feel ive been kind of lulled into a false sense of what will happen only for him to slowly move his daughter in too!! He pays me £50 a week because he says he cant afford any more.....not only that, recently he had a week off work through being ill that he got behind on his child maintainance payments and tried to insist I look out a loan because his credit wasnt good enough so that he could pay it to his ex for his daughter and so that he could buy his daughter birthday presents. I point blank refused and he got very annoyed but I said it wasnt happening so he dropped it.

Now I feel I have lost respect for him a little. Is it too much to ask for a man that looks after ME for a change instead of me footing the bill for everything?? Perfect example of this : we went to drayton manor recently, I PAID FOR THE TICKETS.....he gave me a small amount of fuel money that would have covered getting half way there and I had to sort the rest...we then got in to the park and I said I fancied an icecream, he said he couldnt afford one so i felt bad, paid for one for him AND his dinner...he then stopped at the shop before we went home so that he could buy his daughter a souvenir. to say i was raging is an understatement...

ANNNNNNNYWAYYYYYYYY.....I called him on his lunch today and told him that he needs to come home so that we can discuss everything. Do I need to man up and stop being a mug?? Or an I over reacting a little, because we are great together and he makes me laugh most days lol xxx

OP posts:
PedantMarina · 20/09/2014 18:56

Nah nah naaah nah
Nah nah naaah nah
Hey heeeyyyy
Goodbye!

(don't kiss him, though) Grin

jude3184 · 20/09/2014 18:57

This time tomorrow it will all be over Grin

OP posts:
BringMeTea · 20/09/2014 19:00

SE Asia checking in to say you ROCK Jude! What a marvellous person you are. Enjoy tomorrow night with your daughters.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 20/09/2014 19:11

I HAVE TO PAY MY WAY IN LIFE

Yup, just a split-second after he's admitted borrowing 600 quid from his parents. At his age, too. Oh, the irony.

This time tomorrow, it should all be over and you can breathe easily and rest up before dealing with the other twat in your life.

jude3184 · 20/09/2014 19:21

I don't even know where to begin with the other twat!! New thread from Jude next week I think hahaha xx

OP posts:
Bluebelle38 · 20/09/2014 19:26

Just read all this. Way to go Jude!! What woman. Am having a friend round for a girlie night and popcorn tonight so a big Cheers to you from us!! So glad be will soon be gone for good. Stay strong and happy. Xx

Holdthepage · 20/09/2014 19:29

Just think, this time tomorrow it will all be over.

jude3184 · 20/09/2014 19:51

Wow bluebelle, must have taken you ages hahaa, when all this is over I'm gonna sit with a glass of Rose on my sofa that's coming TUESDAY (yipppeeee!!) and read from start to finish!!just to remind myself why I've done it lol xx

OP posts:
RandomMess · 20/09/2014 19:53

Added bonus not seeing him tonight either Smile

oldgrandmama · 20/09/2014 19:55

Jude, my daughter, my lovely daughter in law and I say too that YOU ROCK!

Love, cheers, pom poms, happy dancing from Islington, Windsor and Stoke Newington! We're all toasting you Wine

SweetErmengarde · 20/09/2014 19:58

Celebratory Nutella binge from Glasgow too!

jude3184 · 20/09/2014 20:05

Hehe! You're all great xx

OP posts:
Cornedbeefpie · 21/09/2014 04:26

I've been following from Australia Jude and cheering you on. Hope you enjoy stretching out on that lovely new sofa that won't be covered in dog fur!

yougotafriend · 21/09/2014 07:05

Jude you are amazing, when you read this all back you will see how much stronger you get as the thread develops.

Don't know the rules of MN copyright but you could turn this into a book.....so many people from across the world are cheering you on its bound to be a best seller.

You are so funny and intelligent and brave and articulate what a fabulous leading lady.......

43percentburnt · 21/09/2014 08:17

Well done Jude. Pay his own way, haha, with mummy and daddy's money! Lmao!

Good on you, have fun with your dds.

mistlethrush · 21/09/2014 08:46

I hope you manage to get rid of the rest of his stuff and he leaves properly later on!

tipsytrifle · 21/09/2014 09:00

I'm at work all day today but will be thinking of you. Don't back down!! Not that you will ... just anticipating how whiney he might be today.

standingonlego · 21/09/2014 09:35

Delurking to say go jude....stay strong, do what is necessary, make that change happen. We are all cheering you on!!!!

Cloudhowe63 · 21/09/2014 09:39

Have been following your thread, Jude. You are amazingly strong and have come so far in 4/5 days. Don't feel guilty - you are a great role model to your girls and, one day, they will be stronger women for it.

jude3184 · 21/09/2014 09:41

Eeeeekkkkk!!! Today's the day! Woke up feeling stronger than ever!! Must have been having the bed to myself!! That felt better than eating cheesy chips and mayonnaise and that's saying something because I love that a lot lol!!

Bring on today's strops and tantrums! I'm gonna get up and practice what face to pull whilst flipping him the bird as he leave Smile

OP posts:
Bluebelle38 · 21/09/2014 09:48

If he has a tantrum, just look atbjat him with a really confus end look. Many stories of cocklodgers on here, but this one takes the mickey! Pun intended!

I hope you get to sell the fish tank and use the money for some lovely cushions and a throw for your new sofa!!

I can also recommend a book called 'Women whonlove too much' by Robin Norwood. Read it .... It will change your life as it did mine!

Enjoy today. You will be dining out on this story for years Haha. Xx

jude3184 · 21/09/2014 09:52

I'm gonna look for that book now. Thanks for the recommendation.

That woman didn't email me back from the freedom programme yet. Just realised! Gonna have to find a number to call about that cos I wanna get in it ASAP.

Tantrums - he can bring them!! I'm looking forward to watching whatever I want tonight going to bed when I want... Having what I want for tea....Grin too exciting xxx

OP posts:
Bluebelle38 · 21/09/2014 09:59

The book is amazing. I am a counsellor and have recommended it so many times. If you are dating losers, you have to see that you are the common denominator so it is you that has to change what you are accepting.

I wish I was there to watch this unfold with you. Let him take his sorry arse away for good. I bet he can't believe the change in you. God help the next woman he hooks up with. At least you are almost freeeeeee! Wahoooo

Anniegetyourgun · 21/09/2014 10:02

I wouldn't bother trying to make him see the light. His mummy, daddy, brother and ex-wife have all had far longer than you at it and have failed, so it clearly isn't that simple a job; why would you waste the time/energy? You have some real children of your own to bring up.

jude3184 · 21/09/2014 10:05

I don't want to change him I just want me flat back hahaha I'm almost done with clawing my dignity and self respect back....just a few hours and all should be back intact haha xx

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread